Life, The Universe, and Everything

The world of Pern

2012-02-01T03:43:00.000-08:00

I was first introduced to the world of Pern when I was a young girl. I read Dragonflight for the first time at the age of 12 and was immediately and irrecovably in love. I used to dream of having a dragon of my very own and frequently named my pets after characters in the stories, (I once had a salamander named Ruth- however things got complicated because my beloved grandmother's name was also Ruth and she was quite put out by sharing her name with a slimy critter... I also didn't have the heart to tell her that, in the book, Ruth is a BOY dragon!).

The world of Pern was created by the late Anne McCaffrey, who sadly left us in November of 2011. The entire world is based on a group of human colonists from earth and how their culture develops as they settle their new home. Everything seems perfect with their new home until they discover the menacing Thread which is an organism that falls from the sky and eats everything biological in its path! Genetisists create the dragons out of a smaller life form that exists in the natural ecosystem of Pern, and these are used to combat the Thread. The story begins hundreds of years later when all technology is lost and only stories remain of the original landing of the settlers.

I recently began re-reading the series in anticipation of a movie that is scheduled to go into production sometime this year. You can read more about the movie here, but so far I'm very excited. Some small part of me knows that the world of Pern on the big screen could never be as wonderous as in my imagination, but I can't help feeling like a little kid at Christmas to see my childhood fantasies come to life.

If you are not a science fiction / fantasy geek like me, I encourage you to read them anyway. If for no other reason than to appreciate the enourmous talent and descriptive literatary genious that was Anne McCaffrey. The world is a darker place without her, but she will live on in our imaginations.

P.S. ----> Anne, if you can hear this - please let Santa know that I still would very much like a dragon for Christmas, a Queen if he can manage it, but I'm not picky.

Love Jewels

The Room

2012-01-16T17:01:00.000-08:00

I downloaded this book on my kindle, not knowing much about it, and let me tell you, am I ever glad I did. The entire premise of the story is just brilliant. I started reading it in the bath the other night, and then 3 hours later I sneezed and finally noticed that the water had gone cold some time ago and that I had totally lost touch with reality - It's that good.

The plot takes place around a boy, whose entire existence is the 11x11 square foot room he was born in. His mother has been a captive there for the last seven years and has raised him solely using the few books she has and her memory. I won't tell you much more and spoil it for you but the amount of detail the author gives in the telling of this wonderful but dark story makes the characters become a part of you as you read it. I couldn't go to sleep until I had finished the last page.

The ramifications of such a childhood are endless. Every time I think about the world that the author had to dream up I'm amazed. It is a heart-warming story about a mothers love for her child, and how she will stop at nothing to make sure that child is safe, secure and happy.

Have you read it?

Apple Chiffon Cake

2012-01-15T16:30:00.000-08:00

I was going to make blueberry cobbler today, but discovered I only had 4 cups of blueberries, not 6. I did however, have 2 delicious looking apples and made this:

It looked better before we ate half of it.

Apple Chiffon Cake

Cake

1/3 cup light vegetable oil

3/4 cup sugar

2 eggs

3/4 cup all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon ginger ( I was out so I substitued pumkin pie spice)

1 cup finely chopped apples

Topping

2 tablespoons sugar ( i used brown sugar)

2 tablespoons finely chopped walnuts

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Heat oven to 350F

For cake - combine oil and sugar in large bowl. beat at medium speed until mixed. Add eggs; beat well.

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, baking soda, nutmeg and ginger in small bowl. Add to oil mixture. Beat just until blended. Stir in apples. Spread in ungreased 9 inch square pan.

For Topping - combine sugar, nuts, and cinnamon in small bowl. Sprinkle over batter. Bake at 350F for 25 to 30 min until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Serve warm or at room temp.

Mission: Purse Minimization

2012-01-12T06:34:00.000-08:00

Last week I was reading a post about purses and the junk we keep in them over here at Carolina's called Reading Handbags. This post, of course, made me think about what I keep in my own handbag and why I keep it there. Carolina is a minimalist, while I am most definitely NOT, but greatly admire. I was going to take a picture of my purse so that you could understand the self-made chaos I battle on a daily basis, but am too embarrassed. Particularly by the jar of Dry Garlic sauce which made it in there last week (it rolled out of the grocery bag in the truck) which has STILL not made it out of my purse and into the house. So I have stolen the lovely picture of a most coveted lap-top bag, (which I really really want... imagine what I could pack in THERE) from here. If you are at all interested in girly bags you should check it out because they are exceptionally awesome, if pricey.

In my purse right now:

14 receipts which need to be filed with the rental stuff

wallet - jammed with more things that need to be filed and one speeding ticket which should probably be paid soon

1 jar of dry garlic sauce.

2 household bills which need to be filed.

random make-up that is there for emergencies which i never seem to need

a package of pens - you never know when you'll need 3 ball point pens all at the same time

my blackberry

a pair of mittens

a gift certificate for a clothing store

a receipt book

a recipe for cake balls (this looks really good)

pay stub

earrings

hair clips\

3 different colours of lip gloss

a calculator

small bottle of Tylenol

Wow. It looks really bad when you write it all down. Its a wonder that I don't need back surgery. Why do I need all of this? I don't. Particularly the dry garlic sauce. For someone who has a purse buying addiction you'd think I'd be more organized.

I'm not even going to TELL you what's in my laptop bag.

Mission: Purse Minimization!

Find laptop/purse combo so I can only have ONE bag full of junk instead of two.

Clean out and file stuff that most definitely does NOT belong in said bag.

Make spare ribs with dry garlic sauce

put business paperwork where it belongs to make tax time a little less frantic

I have printed off this list and put it in the purse. I realize that this is probably the wrong idea, but putting it in the laptop bag practically guarantees that I'll never see it again.

What a perfect excuse to go purse shopping.

Fia The Destructor Part II

2012-01-09T17:39:00.001-08:00

If you've been reading for a while, you've seen my earlier post about Fia's Destructive Tendencies, and you know that she is nearly the perfect dog... until you leave her alone. In an attempt to curb her destructive enthusiasm, we started crating her while we were at work. The first steel crate she had lasted 3 whole months before she bent the bars so much that she was able to climb out of the top of the crate and escape. Did I mention she was Houdini reincarnated? She has also figured out how to open every latch, clip, door, slide bar and hook in existence. Or she just eats them, you know, whatever is easier. Unfortunately I didn't take pictures of the first crate. The second crate looks like this --->

She had a hard time bending the bars, (she only weighs 20lbs), so she was forced to lick and drool on them until they rusted for easier breakage. This crate also lasted 6 months and had to be wired back together several times after Houdini escaped.

I always feel guilty locking her in such a small crate. Even though that is the size the vet recommends she has and says it's perfectly fine. To ease my guilt, hubby suggested we buy a gate for the downstairs "closet" and she could stay in there. The "closet" is the full length of the den and 6 and a half feet wide. I felt much better about this. I could envision her playing with her toys and having a gay ole' time while we were at work.

On day one, she figured out how to work the gate latch, which is pretty impressive considering it's 4 feet of the ground and she is less than 2 feet high. We then used a clip, like you would see on a dog leash, to secure the lock. She ate that on day 2. We then wired together the latch. She couldn't quite figure that one out so on day 3 she just ate a hole right through the chain link fence material on the gate. It isn't plastic either.

Hubby wired the hole closed in the brand new $75 gate and we tried again. Nothing happened for several days. It was then that we noticed dry wall dust on the carpet and took a look inside the crate. She had been scratching at the wall to try to open the door. Luckily our new wired latch seemed to be holding. About 2 weeks in she figured out that if she tried hard enough, she could jump over the 4 ft high gate, so hubby secured a piece of plywood over top to keep her in.

At this point I'm just frustrated. I love the dog dearly, but am terrified that she will eat the whole house when we're gone.

Last week I left work early because Fia had a vet appointment. I opened the front door and there she was, tail wagging, with a big, excuse the expression, shit-eating grin. I went down stairs to see the destruction and it turns out she had become frustrated with trying to escape through the gate and decided to eat her way through the wall. She had eaten through not one, but TWO layers of drywall. There was a little pile of drywall dogie puke sitting on the carpet, and her feet were covered in dust. Good thing we were going to the vet.

I was already running late and didn't have time to clean her up so we jumped into the truck and rushed over. The vet looked at her drywall caked feet, and looked at me as if to say, "what the hell have you been doing to this dog!" I carefully explained the entire story, including the reason for the crating. Halfway into the story he started to look sympathetic. By the time I was done he was shaking his head and his mouth was hanging open. "What should I do?" I asked. He looked at me, scratched his head, and said, "normally I would never suggest this, but have you thought about tranquilizers?"

Not excited about having a dog who was stoned all the time, I went home without the drugs. Hubby went to Home Depot and bought some plywood to cover all the walls inside the crate. She is continuing to eat holes in the gate and escaped again today. Hubby will go back to Home Depot and find something to cover the door.

It started out so nice. A pretty little gate, and a nice clean kennel. Now it looks like Dr Frankenstein bought a house and this is what happened.

Note how she somehow managed to eat the edge of the carpet, and bend the little Simpson's Fence sign from INSIDE the kennel. Suggestions, anyone?

She doesn't LOOK like Houdini, does she?

I am such a 6 year old

2012-01-05T16:52:00.000-08:00

Parents of the year bought The Boy the best gift ever. Skylanders! A better photographer would have taken a picture of the Christmas excitement or the actual present, but I took this --->

The boy brought skylanders over when he visited last weekend. On Friday night we watched him play a bit, and it looked like good fun, but I was happy when it was time to turn it off and we could move on to other things. Saturday morning, The Boy got up early and spent the morning patiently chatting with me while I fixed breakfast, and then tentatively asked.. "do you want to come and play Skylanders with me? You can play with two players!" Super unexcited but happy he wanted to spend time together, I went with him. 15 minutes later I was hooked. 4 hours later hubby came down stairs to say it was lunch time and to ask us if we planned on eating... 5 hours later we took a break to run to walmart and get more Skylanders so we could get more stuff in the game. At 10 we guiltily went upstairs to find Hubby... it was New Years Eve after all! All my careful planning for games and fun went down the tubes as we had blown the whole day playing video games. However, I have never seen ANYTHING hold The Boy`s attention for this long. Not even the precious IPOD.

Sunday morning we got up and played until he had to leave, taking the game with him. I`ve been in withdrawel ever since.

What the heck is a Skylander you ask? It`s this ---»

I tried to go buy one for myself, but they are sold out all over the place. I am patiently waiting for the boy to come back on Friday... so I can play with his toys!

A Present For Me? You Shouldn't Have!

2012-01-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas. I've always loved Christmas. I still can't sleep on Christmas Eve, and I still wake up way too early on Christmas morning. No one, however, loves Christmas more than Fia.

This is her opening her present from Hubby's parents on Christmas morning. I thought it silly, at first, to wrap presents for the dog, but after watching her hilarious display of excitement I am a reformed pet owner. She somehow knows that the presents are not to be touched until she's told to, even though I'm sure the rawhide treats smell delicious through the wrapping paper. She carefully pulls the wrapping paper off in pieces to get to her treat. It's like watching a four year old open toys. The look of betrayal when you take the whole package away after she's done opening it and only give her one piece back is priceless. Like she won the lottery and then had to split it with 50 other people. If she was a person I would explain to her that eating 30 rawhide sticks all at once would make her sick, but this is the dog that will eat anything. She even likes broccoli. And onions.

I realize now that I am slowly becoming one of those pet owners that treats their dog like people (you know, those ones that I usually make fun of). However, I draw the line at dogie clothes. That's just ridiculous.

It's just a freaking coffee maker!

2012-01-03T14:22:00.001-08:00

Hubby has hummed and hawed about getting a tassimo or a keurig for some time. A really long time. Way longer than the usual century he spends mulling over a purchase of this nature. Last Christmas he decided that he thought he may want one, someday, and if he was to purchase one, hypothetically, he was sure he would get the use out of it. Hubby drinks a lot of coffee... A LOT of coffee... and tassimo runs at about 5o cents per cup. Which adds up. Hubby, being the thrifty man that he is reluctantly agreed that this was probably not the coffee maker for him. (I should mention at this point that whatever store we are in, hubby must ALWAYS look for a new coffee maker... it's sort of a compulsive thing). So last Christmas I decided against buying him one and everyone was satisfied.

Recently his boss brought a Keurig to work. Hubby bought some cups for it and quickly became addicted to the smooth richness that is brewed out of the tiny contraption. Hubby began talking about how much he loved it, and how he wanted one REALLY bad. I, being the caring soul that I am, secretly bought him one for xmas, wrapped it, and put it under the tree. Two weeks later, I found it at another store for $30 cheaper, so I ran home, unwrapped it, returned it, in favour of the exact same, but cheaper, Keurig. That same day I had a lovely conversation with hubby in which he mentioned how the Keurig fanaticism was wearing off and how he didn't really need one after all. So now it's the week before xmas and I have no gift ideas. AHHH. I ended up purchasing tickets to see American Idiot (which hubby has been talking about for a long time) instead. On xmas morning, everything was fine until the end of the present opening came and hubby said..."what, no Keurig?" I nearly lost my mind.

Hubby: Well can you get me one?

Me: NO! I've already spent enough, and the tickets are not refundable

Hubby: But I REALLY want one.

Me: Than you will REALLY have to get it yourself.

Later that day we arrived at his sisters house for supper and he noticed that his sister had received a Tassimo for xmas. This started the moaning and groaning all over again. Why, oh why didn't HE get a coffee maker?

Even later that day we arrived at my fathers, opened our gift, and beheld the glorious, the beauteous, Tassimo coffee maker extraordinaire! Hubby was properly grateful. I was relieved that xmas was saved and everyone was now satisfied, and life went on as it should.

I would like to note here that hubby really was grateful for the tickets, he simply wanted the coffee maker ALSO. And thanks to my dad and step mum for saving the day.

Also the coffee is good.

Really good.

Worth the 50 cents.

I'd pay a dollar

(shhh.... don't tell).

Cheers.

picture shamelessly stolen from here

Definitely A Kitchen Aid

2012-01-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

When hubby asked what I wanted for Christmas this year, I promptly answered - with no hesitation - A Kitchen Aid Mixer.

Hubby: Really?

Me: Yes. Really.

Hubby: Is this some sort of trick?

Me: No... why would it be a trick?

Hubby: You mean, when you open it and it's not a puppy or a video game you're not going to be disappointed?

Me: Absolutely not! Do you have any idea how much easier this is going to make my life?

Hubby: Ya. Right. 10 bucks says you use it once and then it sits there collecting dust for the next 25 years.

Me: Doubtful.

I don't think my case was very convincing, however, as weeks went by and hubby noticed me leaving out fliers displaying my coveted mixer, I believe he finally considered buying me one. And low and behold, on xmas morning, I opened a tiny box that looked like this ----->

I thought at first that it was a cruel joke (hubby's intention), but quickly came to the realization that he was simply too lazy to wrap the huge heavy box and so cut out the picture from the flier and wrapped it in one of my crafting boxes, (the contents of which he dumped out on the shelf). I am proud of him for excersizing his creativity to such an extent. It always amazes me when he does so... that and the enourmous amount of effort he will expend by picking up a sock with his toes to avoid having to bend over. It really is incredible. But I digress.

Here is my treasure ---->

Isn't it lovely? So far I've made mashed potatoes, 2 loaves of banana bread, biscuits, chocolate cake with butter cream frosting. YUM. It makes everything much easier and faster. If you don't own one, you should.

Welcome Back

2012-01-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

I didn't make many resolutions this year, but this blog is definitely one of them. I hereby resolve to take at least one daily photo, and blog at least twice per week. I will do this for the entire year, come hell or highwater (<--- who came up with that expression anyway?).

Now that business is out of the way, I should tell you that this picture is of the stone in my front garden. Pretty huh? Thank god the people who owned this house before me knew how to garden.

Also part of the New Years tradition, is my goal to be healthier. After the last year of hell, this will not be a challenge. I worked way too much, and ate horribly as a result of it. When I wasn't working, I was in a zombie-like-coma until the alarm went off again. It was dreadful. However, my boss has promised me that things will be looking up for me in the new year, so here I am, making promises. Fingers crossed.

Not only am I making promises for myself, but also my furry four-legged fiend, Fia. It's -1 degree outside but we tortured ourselves by sneaking out for some fresh air anyway. See ---->

She had much more fun than I.

Happy New Year Everyone

How many computers does it take to print one report?

2010-12-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

Technology is taking over. It's everywhere! I can't escape.

A while back when hubby was off work, he decided to go back to school for computer stuff. He already knew way more than I ever will, but decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

In our house (the house in which only TWO people live). There are 4 computers. Plus 2 laptops that we both use for work bringing the total to SIX. SIX computers. For TWO people. Even if we gave one to each of the cats and the dog, that would still be too many.

On Tuesday I had a presentation to finish for school. I couldn't prepare it on my home laptop, because hubby had formatted it sometime ago and never re-installed Microsoft office. So I used my work laptop. Everything was fine until it came time to print. I couldn't print off of my work laptop because the printer was not networked to it, only the house computers. I should mention at this point that hubby was at work, and unable to help. So I decided to put it on a memory stick and take it down stairs to the computer that was connected to the printer. When I turned it on, I was prompted for a password, (we keep all of our computers secure in case the cats try to steal our banking information... they're sneaky like that). I called Hubby and requested the password. He said that Windows was not working properly on it, and it needed to be fixed so I couldn't use it anyway.

I tried to plug my work laptop directly into the printer. No luck. My work security profile would not let me add the printer without administrative access.

I was then late for class. I attempted to remove the memory stick from the computer and ended up damaging it. Sigh. I ran around the house trying to find another and EUREKA! Success! I found one in my scrap table. I re-saved the file from my work laptop onto the new stick. I then went to the school to print off my presentation. Late is better than never right? I tried to put the stick into the school computer, but it was too big! The fancy plastic design didn't fit in the school computers! At this point I figured God was testing me and it became a personal challenge to PRINT THE DAMN REPORT.

Luckily I had brought my laptop with me, Ba-da-da-DA! The plan was to email the presentation to myself, and then open my email on the school computer to print the report. Unfortunately, I couldn't access the schools WiFi due to security problems with my work laptop. OH MY GOD.

So. I packed everything up, drove home, emailed the presentation to myself, drove BACK to school, logged on to the computer, printed the report, and ran to class.

I got in trouble for being late. I tried to explain... but lets be realistic. Would YOU believe that story? This is what happens to procrastinators who waste their entire vacation and leave the report writing for the last day. Sigh. I hope she doesn't fail me.

It took 7 computers, two internet signals, 2 printers, 2 people, 1 car, 20 kilometers, $3 dollars worth of gas, 3 hours, 2 trips through the construction zone, 2 memory sticks, and a whole lot of patience to print one report. How is that possible?

The Practice of Writing - A New Experiment

2010-11-27T11:59:00.000-08:00

Since I got my Sony Book Reader, I've been trading in most of my novels at the local Used Book Store, Book Brothers. I've managed to save up around $200 in credit by trading in all my books. Not needing to use the store credit for novels, I decided to poke around the non-fiction section to look for crafty books. After finding a number of art related books to take, I stumbled upon The Practice Of Writing by Robert Shcoles and Nancy Comley. It appears to be a text used for college English courses. Recalling my many, many posts regarding my poor writing ability and lack of grammar, I decided that maybe this book could help me actually DO something about my problem. Perhaps I can learn to express myself better. That being said, I've decided you will all be my evil guinea pigs. I will post the suggested assignment here and if you are so inclined, you can critique. I will still be writing my regular posts as well. This has not turned into a writing blog. These posts are meant to be a short-term experiment only. Be gentle, I have no self-esteem.

Assignment:

Part A) Assume that you are in a small group of people that you have just gotten to know and like. There are only three or four of you sitting around, relaxed. Maybe it is late at night. Because you are getting to know one another, you have been taking turns telling about the most frightening or impressive experiences in your life-a time when you encountered danger of death or injury, fear of pain or disgrace, threat of violence or accident, or something of equal importance, which you will never forget.

Set this down on paper exactly as you would tell it to the group.

I chose to tell the story of the time when Hubby almost burnt down our house. Here is part A:

Last spring we had gone to a party at a co-workers house. We ate, we drank, we made merry. Then we left. When we were a few minutes from home, my cell rang. I answered, “Hello?” A deep voice replied,

“Hello mam, this is the Chatham-Kent Fire Department calling.” I was immediately suspicious. Why would the fire department be calling me? Certain that someone was pulling a fast one I said,

“Uh-huh, yeah and I’m the first transvestite Pope. Did Cindy put you up to this?”

“No mam. This really is the Fire Department. And I really am standing outside your door with a very large axe. Are you in the area, or should I break your door down?”

“Um, I’m just around the corner. I’ll be there in 30 seconds. Please do NOT break down my door.”

I couldn’t believe it. Why was the fire department at MY house? I probably would have been humiliated at this point without the large amount of alcohol in my blood stream.
We turned the corner and there they were, along with all my “concerned” neighbors. I walked up to the man with the very large axe and said, “Hello, if you promise to put the big axe down, I’ll open the door for you”. I could hear the smoke detector screaming inside. “Can anyone tell me what happened?”

A neighbor, whose name I STILL do not know replied, “We heard the smoke detector going off and no one was home. We called the fire department just in case. Hope your cats are ok. Neighbor Dave had your cell number and the fireman said we could call before they broke your door down.”

“Err. Thanks,” I said. They probably just wanted the annoying sound to go away. The fire-fighters trudged all over my carpet with their muddy boots and discovered a candle burning, which had eventually set off the smoke detector right above it. No fires, but we were lucky. I remember shaking the fireman’s hand while simultaneously beating hubby into a pulp with the other, (he left the candle burning).

I still haven’t got the mud out of the carpet.

Assignment Part B: After you complete the first part of the assignment, imagine that in English class you are asked to write a paper about the same experience "in the third person". That is, you must tell the same story, but in this version the central figure should be yourself seen from the outside and called "he" or "she" rather than "I." This is a more formal and extraordinary ind of writing, further removed from and ordinary speech situation.

Here is part B:

She was smiling as they drove. They were laughing, and recalling funny bits of the evening, quoting outrageous one-liners and feeling merry. Unexpectedly, her cell phone rang. She picked it up and said, “Hello?”
A deep voice replied, “Hello mam, this is the Chatham-Kent Fire department calling.”
She was immediately suspicious. Why would the fire department be calling her? She was certain that the friends they left behind at the party decided to play a practical joke on her.
“Uh-huh,” she said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, “and I’m the first transvestite Pope. Did Cindy put you up to this?”
“No mam,” the man replied in a serious tone. Then, “This really IS the Fire Department. And I really AM standing outside your door with a very large axe. Are you in the area, or should I break your door down?”
Her heart race increased, and she began to panic. Was her house on fire? What was going on? Is this a joke gone too far?
“I’m just around the corner. I’ll be there in 30 seconds,” she said. “Please do NOT break down my door!”
She couldn’t believe it, but the sense that this was a plot by her friends seemed more and more unlikely. She filled her boyfriend in on the situation as they drove the few short blocks to the house. The fire department was parked on the street and her neighbors were standing outside. She would have liked to believe it was for her own best interests, but it seemed unlikely due to the fact that she disliked most of them and avoided all of them like the plague.
“Can anyone tell me what happened?” She said.
A nameless neighbor, who she believed lived next door, replied, “We heard the smoke detector going off and no one was home. We called the fire department just in case. Hope your cats are ok. Neighbor Dave had your cell number and the fireman said we could call you before they broke your door down.”
“Err. Thanks,” she said. As she turned the key in the door she could hear the blaring of the offending smoke detector. As she opened the door, the fireman pushed by her and into the house. Their boots made muddy tracks across her light-colored carpet.
A lit candle was found in the living room, which had set of f the detector above it. There were no fires, but she felt relief at their luck. She shook the fireman’s hand with one hand, and smacked her boyfriend with the other. It was he, after all, who had left the candle burning.
She ushered everyone out of the house and closed the door. Looking at the mud on the carpet she thought, ‘I’ll NEVER get that out.’

I had a hard time writing the second part. When you are writing and not "talking" more descriptive words are needed, and much more background. I had difficulty keeping it short enough to make a decent size post out of. Hopefully you are not all cursing me for the lengthy post. Let me know what you think of my experiment, or if I'm wasting your time. The last thing I want to do is put anyone to sleep. Perhaps you will want to play along with me.

Top 10 Things I need to get through the day

2010-11-19T07:58:00.000-08:00

10. A creative outlet. A way to express the billion ideas that go through my head on a given day. Like this blog, or scrapbooking, or developing an elaborate practical joke to play on my coworkers... like taping over the laser on everyones computer mice, changing the letters around on keyboards... or taking the wheels of rolling chairs and waiting for the crash. Such a satisfying sound.

9. A To-Do list. This is critical. Without written instructions I will procrastinate for eternity.... like I'm doing right now!

8. Exercise. Without it I'm cranky and generally sleepy. It also allows me some much needed down time and helps me to feel better about myself. Lately I've been so busy it's hard to fit more than the nightly stroll with the puppy, but I'm headed back to the gym as soon as vacation starts. I really miss it.

7. A quick game of be-jeweled. Warning: It's addictive. It does keep my brain stimulated and relaxes me at the same time. When I'm playing I'm in the zone.

6. A quick huff on the crack pipe... ok, not really, but I had you going there.

5. A bowl of cereal. Really. No Joke. Cereal really should be in a food category all by itself.

4. My morning coffee.

3. My afternoon coffee.

2. My after supper coffee... are you seeing a trend here?

1. A good night kiss from Hubby. I know you never read this, but you make my day.

Oh Funny, Where Art Thou?

2010-11-18T12:53:00.001-08:00

I've lost my funny. Do you know where it is?

I always thought of myself as having a good sense of humor. It's part of my charm, created by the desire to make my parents laugh instead of fight. Laughter eases the tension. Now that I've gotten to the point in my life where things are relatively stable, I'm happy, I have a good job.. the funny just seemed to slip right out of me. Perhaps now that I'm not in a constant state of panic I've gotten lazy? Maybe I need stress to be funny. I suppose I could find some. What if I ran into my boss' office and told him off? That would create tension, and then maybe I could make a joke about that! I am kinda laughing just thinking about how purple his face gets when he's really, really mad. Plus, he has a shaved head so I get a real kick out of watching the veins pop out of his head like an inflating water hose.

Maybe I could send out a mass email detailing what I had for lunch today, see what responses I get and make a joke about that!

Good Afternoon Everyone:

This is just a quick note to tell you all that I really enjoyed my lunch today. The grapes were particularly delish. That's all. You can go back to work now.

I feel like my posts lately are sub-standard. I mean, if I'm not funny, people will focus on my lack of grammar, spelling ability, and my obvious misuse of the English language in general. (I just noticed yesterday that blogger has spell check... so now I'm un-funny AND un-observant). Maybe the pressure to write a good post will bring my funny back. Lets give it a try...

Once upon a time there was a hippopotamus who felt discriminated against because she really wanted to be a flight attendant, but company policy stated that all animals must be contained in the cargo area of the plane....

Not very funny. I know. See? I think I've lost it forever. I wonder what happened? I think I'm burnt out. Vacation is coming. Maybe my funny will come back then. Also I think those business law classes are affecting my brain. Discrimination? Really? Out of all the things I could have chose, I picked workplace discrimination? Oh Elvis, do they even MAKE therapy for that?

Fia The Destructor

2010-11-18T05:45:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that when we adopted Fia, we weren't sure what kind of dog she was? It was the vet that told us she was a Basenji. I've been a dog lover all my life, but had never heard of the breed. I didn't really give it much thought at the time. She was a beautiful dog, she was loving, playful, and good with children. That's all we really needed in a companion.

After noticing some peculiar behaviours, I've started researching the breed a bit. Everywhere I go there are tales of Basenji Destruction. DUN DUN DA! (evil sound effect added here). On every breeding site I went to there were multiple warnings about the breeds tendency to completely destroy everything you own, and turn it into really expensive trash. At first, I wasn't really worried. She's been a good girl, and had proven trustworthy. The only victim of her appetite for entertainment so far had been the front door mat, and I didn't really like it anyway. Although she did do a number on her crate when we first got her and thought that shutting a high energy dog away in a small confined space would be a good idea while we were at work. Not so much.

Yesterday I came home to a completely destroyed pair of shoes. My favourite work shoes. The ones I wear almost everyday. She looked so miserable about it too. Poor puppy. My suspicion is she's getting bored. Basenji's aren't supposed to be left alone. From what I've read, even 10 minutes is a risk. I found this yesterday while I was continuing my research:

23 Pounds of Trouble
Ya wanna hear a reality story? My first Basenji—whew—now that was a boy who taught me about Basenjis!

About 20 years ago, my son and I answered an ad for a Basenji for $75. When I walked into their house I saw a large pile of debris in one room and I thought at first that they were remodeling. Yeah, remodeling, right, Basenji-style!

We took home the youngster anyway and he was such a brat, although nothing I hadn't already experienced with the German Shorthairs. Besides, this guy was a little tiny thing, so what kind of damage could he do?

When I went to work, I didn't crate him. I was only going to be gone six hours and so I thought a little guy like this shouldn't need a crate. When I returned home I walked in to find about $10,000 worth of damage to the small rental house we lived in. The ball-feet were chewed off the still-standing pecan dining room table; the couches and chairs were down to the springs; drapes were down and shredded; door, window moldings, and sills were gone; the rug was torn up off the floor; and the little dear was in the process of digging through the wall to the outside. In fact, he was through the plaster, through the lathe, and had reached the cedar siding when I caught him.

Amazingly, I didn't get angry, I was just so stunned! I was quite impressed with this little Basenji's “abilities”. Needless to say, I bought him a crate.

Later that day I thought it best to take him with me when I went to pick up my paycheck. He wasn't crated in the car. I was gone five minutes at the most. When I returned (sigh) he had done a number to the inside of the car: Steering wheel chewed through and half gone; upholstery down to the springs—no piece of vinyl or cloth was where it had once been; he stripped the inside of the car. This made driving home quite uncomfortable and interesting. After that he rode in a crate.

These are just two of the multiple horror stories we went through with this little monkey. Still, I lived with and loved that little guy until the day he died at eight years old. And I thank him for teaching me his Basenji ways. Very good lessons learned, though I wish I had been more prepared for his homecoming.

Sam Anderson
Washington State

So far the destruction has been minimal. We're hoping it stays that way. My options are few but I'm looking into getting a dog walker to break up her day a bit and tire her out. It's really unfair of me to expect perfection, but she comes very close.

If you're thinking of getting a basenji, I would highly recommend them, but be prepared to make some accommodations for your new friend. I don't mind. She's worth it.

Have A Nice Day

2010-11-17T06:12:00.000-08:00

You all know how much I love my Tim Hortons. Although recently, they've been slipping. I wrote about this once before here.

I'm a big fan of quality customer service. In my teenage years I was a career waitress. I took pride in giving my customers quality service and an enjoyable experience with no hassel. I guess that's why I'm so dissapointed when people don't take the time to make sure the customer is satisfied.

Yesterday I made my after-work stop at Tim Hortons for a quick bite to eat before I went to class. I ordered an XL double-double coffee with milk, a LG chocolate milk, and a cheese tea biscuit. A simple, easy order. I pulled up to the window, handed the cashier my pay pass card and waited.

The first thing to come through the window was my chocolate milk. I took it from him, and noticed as I did so that something wet squished through my fingers.... it appeared to be whip cream. The cashier had already dropped the window, so I knocked.

Me: Um, excuse me..
Him: Yes?
Me: There's something on this... (I held it up to show him)
Him: Oh. No problem. (he hands me a napkin)

I wiped the crud off my hands and held the chocolate milk back towards him

Him: Yes?
Me: Um, could you wipe it off with a cloth or something, or can I have another one? This one is sticky.
Him: Ya. I guess. (takes the chocolate milk back through the window as if it's the most tedious chore ever).

He handed me my milk back. It was still sticky. I gave up and threw it on the seat beside me. He also handed me my card back.

Him: Have a nice day
Me: Um... I'm still waiting for my coffee....
Him: Oh. Right. Hang on.

While he's busy making my coffee... the line is piling up behind me and I can sense from the arm waving going on in the next vehicle back that people are getting impatient. I feel awkward. Finally the guy hands me my coffee.

Him: Have a nice day.
Me: Um... my tea biscuit?
Him: Oh. Did you order that? (the girl working next to him says... "Yep... a cheese one".
Him: Oh. Do we even have those?

He walks over to the display case and checks out the situation... and comes back empty-handed.

Him: We don't have any.
Me: But I've already paid!
Him: Well, do you want your money back, or would you like something else?

I've now been sitting at the drive through window for about 7 or 8 min. I think the cycle time is supposed to be less than 60 seconds. Much more hand-waving happening in the truck behind me and everyone inside the store is sitting around idle, waiting for the next order.

Me: Just give me a doughnut.
Him: Sure. (goes and gets the doughnut and hands it to me).
Him: Have a nice day.
Me: How nice of you to say.

I'm now irritated. This has been happening more, and more often of late. I even switched to the other Tim Hortons accross town. I'm actually thinking of switching to McDonalds coffee (gasp!). I wouldn't have minded all the trouble if he would have at least apologized for the wait or showed any kind of desire to help me at all.

In the big picture, this means nothing. A minor inconvenience in a world with bigger problems. But in a customer-service industry, you would think I would get some customer service for my money. Maybe even a smile.

Ok. I'm done ranting now.

Have A Nice Day.

Picture from Tim Hortons official website here

Full Moon

2010-11-13T03:57:00.000-08:00

The Boy missed his camping trip to come and stay with us this weekend. When I picked him up last night, I was concerned that he was missing the fun with his fellow Cubs. And this is how the conversation went....

Me: Are you sad to be missing your camping trip with Cubs?

The Boy: Not really. It's probably a good idea that I didn't go.

Me: A good idea? Why?

The Boy: It's going to be a full moon.

Me: Oh. Of course. Does that mean the warewolves will be out?

The Boy: Maybe.

Me: Are you scared?

The Boy: Not really. I could defeat them.

Me: I bet you could.

The Boy: I would hate to kill anything that didn't need killing though.

Me: That's a good philosophy.

The Boy: I would only kill it if it attacked me and tried to hurt me.

Me: In self defence right?

The Boy: Right.

photo shamelessly stolen from here

Why do I need a phone that does all THAT?

2010-11-12T04:58:00.000-08:00

Hubby has just gotten a new IPhone 4. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know how I feel about phones. If you're a newbie, you can get a pretty good understanding by reading this.

While I confess that it does some pretty nifty stuff, I'm disturbed by the amount of time that people actually spend messing around with them. Further increasing the amount of minutes a day spending ZERO time communicating with real people, in a real environment. Pretty soon we're not going to talk to each other at all. Everything will be just text, text, text.

Did you know that there is a GPS function that you can use to actually pinpoint the exact location of other Iphone users? So if I had one, and hubby and I both had the app, we would be able to find each other anywhere. The only time I can think of a useful purpose for this is in the shopping mall. After running around to all my girly stores, it would be easy to find hubby at the "man" stores when I'm ready to go. Other than that, why would anyone need to triangulate my exact location on the planet? I can picture the argument now....

Ring Ring

Hubby: You said you were going to the mall, why are you at the ice-cream store?

Me: Um... because I wanted some ice cream?

Hubby: And were you going to tell me that you were getting ice cream?

Me: Probably not.

Hubby: And were you going to get ME some ice cream?

Me: Probably not.

Hubby: See? You're so selfish.

phones can do amazing things, but why would we possibly NEED all that stuff? Can't a girl just have a calorie-fest in private anymore? Jeez.

photo shamelessly stolen from here

The Storm Chaser

2010-11-11T13:26:00.000-08:00

Driving from The Boy's house to ours gets very boring, very quickly. It's about a two hour drive. On such an occasion, to pass the time, The Boy and I were chatting. We talked about space, and planets, and why he should be nicer to his grandparents. We also talked about what he wants to be when he grows up. Keep in mind... he's 9. He's got a while yet to decide.

Me: So kiddo, if you could be anything when you grow up, what would you pick?

The Boy: A storm chaser.

Me: You mean one of those guys who risk their lives to run around after tornado's?

The Boy: Yep.

Me: That's so cool. What made you want to do that?

The Boy: The Discovery Channel.

Me: What do you like about it?

The Boy: I saw a tornado pick up a cow on tv.

Me: Yes, I know. That was the movie Twister. We watched it together remember?

The Boy: Actually I think it was two cows.

Me: You know that's just a movie right?

The Boy: Do you think that could really happen?

Me: Um... I'm not sure. I think maybe if it was a super humongous tornado.

The Boy: Ya. Like maybe an F-10. Do they have F-10's?

Me: I don't think so.

The Boy: Maybe Global Warming will get bad enough to make super huge tornado's and then I can chase an F10 in my tricked-out trailer?

Me: Global Warming? Aren't you 9? What tricked out trailer?

The Boy: The one I'm going to get to chase tornadoes. And other storm's... but mostly tornado's.

Me: How are you going to trick out your trailer?

The Boy: I'm going to put a couch in it, and a super big tv, and one of those dopper thingies that they use to find out where the tornado's are.

Me: You mean doppler.

The Boy: That's what I said.

Me: Right. What else will be in your tricked-out trailer?

The Boy: A computer. So I can play Plants vs. Zombies. Do you think I can get the Internet in my trailer?

Me: I'm sure you can.

The conversation went on like this all the way home. I was impressed by the amount of thought he'd actually put into his plan. He was a little bummed out when I explained that he would have to take science and math all the way through school, and probably go to University. He asked if he had to take science to drive the trailer, and could he hire a meteorologist. Sigh.

The next weekend we went to the mall in Welland, where they had a hurricane simulator. It looked like this:

The Boy was so excited, he HAD to try it. It was 2 dollars. It started up and we could see his hair blowing around and he had his eyes squished shut. We asked him how it was when he got out:

Me: So how was it?

The Boy: Windy

Me: Still wanna be a storm chaser?

The Boy: Yep.

My Three Favourite People

2010-11-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken last weekend. It's one of the few, rare moments when Hubby, The Boy, and The Dog are standing still long enough for me to snap one. Just as I pushed the button on the camara the sun ran away behind a cloud, so the lighting is not so good, but I'm happy with it anyway. Fia won't look at the camara without trying to lick it so this is the best I can do.

A Present For Puppy

2010-11-08T11:56:00.000-08:00

Fia, the newest member of our Family, got a new bed this week. It's basically a giant pillow and is much more comfortable than MY bed. I'm thinking of trading her. She sleeps on our bed most of the time anyway. Maybe she'd like it better.

We are still having some trouble building a relationship between the felines and the canine. The cats basically try to ignore her, though Felix really would play with her if he wasn't worried about getting eaten all the time. Fia doesn't like to be ignored. Especially by her "competition". You can tell she would just like to put an end to it all and eat them. I believe she is aware that this would upset me because every time she chases them she looks at me with the most fore lorn expression. As if to say, "I'm sorry mom, but they're so tasty-looking, can't I eat just one? You DO have two after all...." It seems as if she wants to eat Samantha more than Felix. This surprises me. Samantha is the skinny, bitchy one. Felix is plumper and would make a much better meal. Samantha would be more of a snack really. An appetizer.

Bon Appetite!

A Feast Of Crows

2010-11-07T04:34:00.000-08:00

We're having a sort of crisis at work right now, so I've basically been here since Friday. I was up at 5 this morning and unfortunately had to stop for gas in the wee hours of the freezing November morning. Half asleep, I jumped out of the car and started filling my tank. After a few minutes, I woke up enough to be aware of my surroundings. The sound penetrated my sleep-fogged brain before anything else. The sound of many tiny crow voices screaming their CAW-CAW morning salutation at each other. It was then that I noticed how loud the sound was. It was still very dark, but as my eyes adjusted, I could see that outside of the bright fluorescent lighting of the gas bar, there were literaly hundreds of black moving shapes in the darkness. They were everywhere. I could hear the sounds of multitudes of tiny bird feet moving around on the overhang of the gas bar, above my head. There were too many to count. Nervous, but fascinated, I watched half of the flock suddenly take off and wing into the early morning darkness. That still left too many to count. I finished pumping the fuel and ran into the store to pay. I asked the clerk if it was like this every morning. She seemed unimpressed, and replied that they were there most nights until around this time. I ran back out to the truck and pulled out my camera to see if I could take some video. Because it's dark, it's hard to see them, but maybe you can get an idea by watching this....

After taking this video, I started the truck. I must have startled the flock perching on the roof because they all took off. Mass amounts of bird feces dropped out of the sky like little bombs of filth and disease (thank god I was in the truck and protected under the gas bar canopy). I couldn't believe the sound. The sheer number of wings required to make that much noise was staggering to my imagination. I don't particularly like birds (except the cute songbirds), and find them scary in large quantities. I was totally freaked out.

I've noticed in the last few years, that the amount of crows that show up during harvest time is increasing. When I drive home from work in the early evening, they blacken the sky. I will try to get you some pictures tonight. They reek havoc in the city, particularly on garbage day when they rip apart bags and drag garbage all over the streets. The city does nothing, other than advise people to purchase crow-proof garbage containers.

More crow craziness coming soon.

Introducing Miss Fia

2010-11-04T11:26:00.001-07:00

This is the newest member of our family.

We rescued her from the Humane Society. Can you believe someone would give her up? She is a besenji mix. I have no idea what she's mixed with, but she's super cute. And so sweet. She very rarely barks, and loves to cuddle. She is happiest just being in the same room as her humans and is very playful.

We named her Fia - which is Italian for Flame apparently, because of her red coat. She looks kinda like a red fox, but hubby said I couldn't name her Foxy. He didn't want to be yelling that around our neighbourhood, as the hookers might get the idea that he was talking to them.

I was nervous about getting a dog. We're not home for long stretches of the day and I was concerned about leaving her alone. We started out with a crate. The first day we left her alone I put a big fluffy pillow in there for her and her water bowl. When we got home she was sitting in a giant pile of fluff and most of the water bowl had been eaten. She had also managed to eat the plastic tray in the bottom of the cage and some how kick it out completely.

On day number two we left the big pile of fluff in there, no water bowl and gave her a kong to chew on. She managed to rip the curtains down from inside the cage and eat the curtain rod, and the curtain.

On day number three, we moved the crate to the center of the room. We came home and she had chewed the crate until she somehow escaped and was running around the house. She bent the sides of the bars with her teeth. Luckily, nothing was destroyed, although she had collected 1 shoe from each pair that hubby and I own, and piled them on the couch... mercifully they were in pristine condition.

On day number four we came home and she had bounced the crate over to the spare bed and had eaten a chunk out of the mattress - from inside the crate. She then bounced it over to the dresser and chewed off the knobs for the bottom drawer.

At this point we decided that we could no longer keep her in the crate. Not only did she not enjoy it, but we were quickly running out of solutions, and the crate was rapidly deteriorating from her teeth of destruction. We decided to leave her out while we went grocery shopping. We left her for about an hour and then returned home to check on her. Again, she stole our shoes and slept on top of them, but chewed nothing! We have left her out ever since and she's been lovely. There have been a few times where the teeth of destruction have gotten out of hand, but nothing that would not be expected from any dog left alone.

She is a very sweet dog, and someone spent a long time training her to be well behaved. I suspect that she wore a bark collar at one point, because she is very reluctant to bark or whine. When she does she gets this surprised look on her face... as if she is unsure that the sound actually came out of her own mouth.

More doggie stories to come. Isn't she cute?

Random Strange Quiz

2010-11-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me one of those weird, random question emails today. You know, the ones where you divulge useless information about yourself so we can all be idiots together? So I decided since I had to fill it out, the least you could do is read it. I'm vindictive like that.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Not sure. I'm a cold-hearted bitch!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yep. I write like my mom. Comes from years of writing my own notes to get out of school.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Salami. Yum.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Sort Of.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yep. Who wouldn't?

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No way. Not at all. Never. Ok. Maybe all the time.

8.. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No. I'm allergic to scary.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I'd have to go with Captain Crunch. But I'm a cereal addict.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not ever. I'm a big fan of shoe horns.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I could totally kick your ass.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Caramel Pecan Crunch.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes and smile for sure

15. RED OR PINK? Pink. Red is for serial killers, and I only do that on weekends.

16. What is the weather like outside? Bloody Freezing

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST My brother. He's an ass, but it would be nice to see him once in a while. He lives in Alberta.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yes

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black shoes with small heal that make a really annoying sound when I walk. I actually like the noise, but secretly I like to drive everyone crazy.
Be right back, I have to go make a couple of laps in the hall just so everyone knows I'm still here.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? cinnamon raisin bagel toasted with butter.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? lift trucks smashing into stuff.

2. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Orange. How can you be sad when you're orange?

23. FAVORITE SMELLS outside? fresh cut grass. Oh, and gasoline... which may account for the lack of brain cells I seem to have these days.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? boring conference call from work.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Ya. She kinda grows on you... you know, like fungus.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? love to watch track and field at the Olympics.
27. Hair Color? Blond. And yes, it's natural.

28. EYE COLOR? bluish greyish.

29.. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no, but I probably should.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Anything I can put cheese on.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. I'm allergic to scary, remember?

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
That new one with Matt Damon... don't watch it, it was super bad.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Purple with grey and black stripes.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs

36. Car or truck ? Truck. I'm a redneck, what can I say?

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? possibly my step-mother, but not sure.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? jeff.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Mammoth Hunters by Jean Auel, and the never ending business law text from my online course.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don't have one.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Dexter! Who wouldn't want to watch a show about a vigilante, damaged serial killer?

42. FAVORITE SOUND? rain on the roof. And thunder.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? God. Rolling stones I guess. I don't see any country in this selection.

44. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TO NEXT?
Anywhere that isn't work related.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Does saying the alphabet backwards count?

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN Hamilton Ontario

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I'll be shocked if anyone answers back. Who has time for this crap?

That's all I have to say about that.

You Stink.

2010-11-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

After chuckling over the adventures of Madame DeFarge over at Bateau De Banane, I was inspired to put my two cents in ( me, with an opinion? Shocker.), regarding our tendancy to... over-scentsitize ourselves. Is that a word ---->Scentsitize? Well, it should be.

I'm often told how lucky I am to have lovely pale skin, blue eyes, and blond hair. What no one realizes, is that with these characteristics comes incredibly sensitive skin, eyes, and nose.... all of these things are irritated by the general populations tendency to bathe in scents.

Well it may be a drag for some, I'm totally loving the fact that public places seem to be implementing fragrance-free policies these days. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with light, pleasant scents, and I happen to be a big fan of body spray myself. However, I will never understand why certain folks think it's attractive to drown their co-workers in eye-watering perfume and cologne.

Also, at this time, I would like to point out that I've noticed the majority of these over-scented offenders are not women, but men. Apparently they think it adds to their sex appeal. I'm hear to tell you that if you're 6 feet away from you and I can smell you, it's not a good thing, regardless of the scent. What are you trying to hide with all that smell? Did you pull your shirt from the bottom of the dirty laundry pile and think that your plastered-on man perfume would cover the stench? Well, it doesn't. Now you smell like dirty laundry AND cheap cologne. Good Job.

On one of my first dates with Hubby, we went to a comedy show. I was dressed to impress, with lovely make-up and the whole nine yards. Sitting at the table next to us was a lovely woman wearing what must have been an entire bottle of some heavy, musk-scented, eau-du-stink. My eyes were watering so badly that tears were pouring down my face and the contents of my nose were dribbling down my chin. How lovely. I was completely sure my date was ready to bolt for the door at any second. Who wouldn't want to continue dating a girl with a dripping face for no apparent reason? He probably thought I was a psychotic, high-maintenance crazy person with loads of emotional baggage and needing therapy. Just the kind of first impression everyone wants to make. Just because it's true doesn't mean I was ready to let him know so soon. I was saving that for date #3. I apologized and wiped the running mascara from my face and tried to control my dripping face. Thank-fully hubby turned out to be one of those understanding men and was kind enough to over-look my facial impression of Alice Cooper.

So please. Try to control yourself. Moderation is the key! Don't bathe in it, it just makes you stink.

Top 10 Things to do with Nine Dollars and Thirty-Two Cents

2010-11-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

After paying the bills, the never ending cycle of credit card debt, and paying for gas, this is my total disposable income for the week.

Top 10 Things To Do With $9.32

10. Invest in an RRSP. My retirement calculator says if I invest today, in 40 years I will have $93.78. I can retire for a whole day!

9. Buy a new pair of socks. Everyone loves socks.

8. Give in to temptation and try out the new cake and shake milkshake from Tim Hortons (stone cold creamery.. now you can buy coffee AND ice cream at Timmies... isn't Canada lovely?). It's reported to be the highest calorie milkshake ever (1680 calories and 88 grams of fat... which works out to be 135% of the daily recommended value. But who needs statistics anyway? Certainly not my butt or upper thighs.... which is where the ice cream will end up).

7. Put it on the credit card and save $.08 in interest this month. Then I will have $9.40 cents of disposable income next week!

6. Buy a lottery ticket and hope I win enough to complete the magical list of things I'd do if I was a millionaire found here.

5. Borrow $0.68 cents from hubby and buy a new Wii game from Wii Share.

4. Buy the new lipstick that I've been eyeing for months and will probably never wear.

3. Send it to United Way. They can put it with the rest of their money and maybe buy a pencil or some staples.

2. Put it away for that trip to Australia that will probably never happen.

1. Change it in to pennies so that it looks like I have lots of money, throw it up in the air and dance around shouting, "I'm rich, I'm rich". Which is the cheapest form of entertainment I can think of.

Flashing Hot at 29

2010-10-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well. 28 and 11 months really. But who's counting.

I thought hot flashes were not supposed to start until menopause? It's October. It's freezing outside, and here I am dreaming of ice cream and for the love of GOD someone get me a cold cloth for the back of my neck!

We got our new company sweaters at work last week. Being a generally bad housekeeper, I haven't done my laundry, so today looked like a good day to try out the sweater. This is the part where I tell you it's a very pretty shade of blue, and made from Arctic Fleece. It fits just perfect, but is not so large that one could wear multiple layers underneath... so I of course, did not. Hold Please... the sweat is dripping in my eyes... there. That's better. Anyway, I'm wearing my new sweater, in a lovely shade of blue, at work today. I suppose it's a moderate sort of temperature. No one else seems to be swealtering, but I feel as though someone has wrapped me in a heating blanket and left me for dead. I imagine this is what a potatoe feels like when you wrap it in tin-foil and place it on the barbeque. Only without the pleasant cooking smell.

My co-worker suggested I take the sweater off, to which I blushed... or I would have blushed if I had not already been red-faced from extreme blood-pressure brought on by a spiking body temperature. While sitting in my office naked is a pleasant thought for my internal equilibrium, I'm sure there must be SOMETHING in the harrassment policy which forbids such a thing. The dress code for sure.

Currently I have my face pressed against the cool wood of my desk for a small measure of releif. It feels nice but is making typing difficult. I end up retyping the same sentences over and over as most come out looking like this ---> I ejd up typng het same sentnces ver andover as mos t come out lookkking like ths. It's very hard to type whilst your face is pressed against a desk. I wonder if there's a record for that. Perhaps I could become famous! But I digress.

It's five-oh-eight. Going home to burn the sweater and do something that makes me feel young.

Happy Wednesday.

Pop Music Sellout.

2010-10-25T09:32:00.001-07:00

I've always stood by my taste in music, protesting that I would never be a sellout. For most of my life I've been a country music fan, with some good old Southern and classic rock thrown in. Also the first two Albums by Jewel were some of my favourites. When Jewel starting recording pop music I cringed, conviced that she was abandoning her accousic-folk genre for the huge market that surrounds popular music.

Often ridiculed by my music choices, I stood by my favourite artists like glue, telling myself I was being a leader instead of a follower of popular choices. I was unique.

Recently, I've had a change of heart. Bored with the same old tunes, I set out on a search for something new, and ended up changing my pre-programed radio stations to, you guessed it, popular music. Currently I'm listening to a variety of dance music. Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis. Artists like Ke$ha and Lady Gaga are now making their way onto my IPod somehow. Today I actually caught myself singing along to If I Had You, by Adam Lambert. Crazy.

So now I'm a sellout. I still refuse to listen to rap. I have no idea why that's classified as music. So now I have to apologize to all the people I've ever made fun of... I'll get around to it... eventually.

To the victors, the spoils.

2010-10-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

In some banter back and forth with one of our fellow bloggers, Silver Fox, a discussion opened up about Canadian and American History... and the .. er... discrepancies that exist depending on which country is telling the story. This inspired this post.

So. Once upon a time in 1812, there was a war between the British colonies of Upper and Lower Canada (we weren't just plain Canada back then... we were still part of the British Empire). The war started for various reasons... If your an American it started because the British drafted some of your merchants into the British Royal Navy, and bruised your dignity by assisting the native peoples against American expansion into their territory. If your a Canadian, it started because the Americans invaded, swept up our towns people into the militia, and took away Native rights and land. Blah Blah Blah.

The Americans were winning, in the beginning. They took all of Lake Erie and the shores, and much of what is now Western Ontario. However, after the British finished kicking the snot out of Napoleon, they sent huge naval armies and took the battle as far as New York and New Orleans. Both sides invaded, lost ground, and went home with nothing. The territories that were temporarily held were given back by the magical treaty of Ghent and life went on.

That being said, I find it interesting that Canadians think that the war of 1812 was a British victory, but if you check the American history books, it was an American victory.

Here's what Wiki had to say:

Canadian
In British North America (which formed the Dominion of Canada in 1867), the War of 1812 was seen by Loyalists as a victory, as they had successfully defended their borders from an American takeover. The outcome gave Empire-oriented Canadians confidence and, together with the postwar "militia myth" that the civilian militia had been primarily responsible rather than the British regulars, was used to stimulate a new sense of Canadian nationalism.[106]

A long-term implication of the militia myth—which was false, but remained popular in the Canadian public at least until World War I—was that Canada did not need a regular professional army.[107] The U.S. Army had done poorly, on the whole, in several attempts to invade Canada, and the Canadians had shown that they would fight bravely to defend their country. But the British did not doubt that the thinly populated territory would be vulnerable in a third war. "We cannot keep Canada if the Americans declare war against us again," Admiral Sir David Milne wrote to a correspondent in 1817.[108]

By the 21st century it was a forgotten war in the U.S., Britain and Quebec, although still remembered in the rest of Canada, especially Ontario. In a 2009 poll, 37% of Canadians said the war was a Canadian victory, 9% said the U.S. won, 15% called it a draw, and 39%—mainly younger Canadians—said they knew too little to comment.[109]

American
Today, American popular memory includes the British capture and destruction of the U.S. Presidential Mansion in August 1814, which necessitated its extensive renovation. Another memory is the successful American defence of Fort McHenry in September 1814, which inspired the lyrics of the U.S. national anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner.[110] The successful Captains of the U.S. Navy became popular heroes with plates with the likeness of Decatur, Steward, Hull, and others, becoming popular items, ironically many of them were made in England. The Navy became a cherished institution beloved for the victories that it gave against all odds.

To my American friends, I'm going to say it was a draw. We freed a bunch of your slaves and settled them in Eastern Canada (although England ended up compensating Washington for them later... apparently your slave owners were angry at the loss of their "property". You went back to your country, we stayed in ours, and later kicked the British out (If the queen is watching, you know you really have no power right? We still respect you and your office, but we're not British, we're Canadian... although... thanks for giving us a paid holiday on your birthday, that's really terrific of you).

So we still have no army... and I think we own 1 submarine that still floats... although it was built 5 decades ago. And we're still us. I'm not sure what would happen should you try to invade again... perhaps we'll ride our dog sleds into battle. Or cows... we have lots of those eh?

It's been 200 years and we're still here. Some would think it's a miracle, with a giant military based society on our doorsteps. I think they just keep us here for our bacon. You may think they would invade just to steal our hockey team so they could stop losing at the Olympics, but perhaps they like the challenge.

note: I'm not a history major. Just going by what I learned in school... and that was a long... loooong time ago. If you have a comment about the facts (or lack there-of) in this post, please enlighten us. My main goal is entertainment, if you laughed even once, then my mission is complete. Americans, I love you, even if you are crazy and make war just for the sake of making war.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

2010-10-15T10:26:00.001-07:00

This is by FAR my favourite holiday of the year. Why, you ask? (And even if you didn't) Because it is the only holiday where there is no other expectations other than to eat. And possibly do the dishes if you're not the cook (definitely NOT me). Christmas has the presents, easter the religion... wait, that's a Christmas thing too isn't it? Halloween has the costumes and the candy and the running around. Not on Thanksgiving. Your only obligation is to eat the ton of food that your family seems to concoct out of nowhere, and drink fine wine (well, except in my family... my mum prefers the bubbly kind with all the sugar.. I call it soda pop wine).

Turkey should come with a gym membership and bottle of rollaids. It really is low-fat, and good for you, just not in the quantities consumed on any given holiday. This year I managed to get prime rib twice, and no turkey. We are heading to hubbys parents for thanksgiving #3, so perhaps I'll see some turkey there. I really have a craving for stuffing, and no one can ever have too much pie. I could also use some cranberry sauce. What about you, are you a gravy person, or a cranberry person? There is much to say about both. I personally recommend making a turkey and cranberry sandwich. It really doesn't get much better than that.

So I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving, where-ever you are. To my friends in the US, why IS your thanksgiving in November anyway? Too close to Christmas for me. You hardly have time to recover and lose the 3lbs of pie you ate! You should really consider moving it. Plus, I wouldn't get stuck working on MY thanksgiving to accomodate you. It really is very inconvenient. Take care of that would you? You must have some sort of commitee for that sort of thing.

Happy Turkey Day.

My new found love for Italian Meat.

2010-08-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

Did I ever mention that hubby is of Italian decent? This has opened me to all kinds of new experiences... Italian food and cooking... people with outdoor foyers on their houses (kind of hard to explain really... it's like a sitting room, right outside your front door... kind of useless actually), and women with facial hair. Ok, that last part isn't true, but I've heard stories.

Today we're going to talk about the meat. I was never a fan. I mean... meat that is stuffed in an intestine and hung in a dark cellar for months at a time? Sounds scary.

Hubby's parents always have this plate of meat that's freshly sliced and available for snacking. It has a variety of salami's and pepperoni. At first I shied away from the mystery meat. I had never eaten it as a child... most of our diet revolved around living in good old farm country where folk eat meat and potatoes and not much else.

However, one day while watching hubby's obvious enjoyment, I decided to be brave and try some Salami. It was the hottest thing I had ever eaten. WOW was it hot... but not right away. Before the tears there was a lovely smokey taste that was heaven in my mouth. After that it was hard to stop eating it.

I have since learned that each different Salami comes from a different area of Italy, like red wine in France. They're all lovely really, although I would have to say my favourite is Genoa. YUM.

So interested was I in this new love of mine, that I decided to get some information on what exactly was in it to make it soooo delicious. This may, or may not have been a mistake depending on your point of view...

Salami may be made out of one or more of the following meats...

pork
venison
beef
poultry
HORSE

Horse? Really? Do people eat horse meat?

It is at this point in my research where I recognized, yet again, how woefully ignorant I am about cultures outside the world of North America (or inside it for that matter).

The main ingredients that go with the meat are

Salt
Spices
Minced Fat (MINCED FAT? How appetizing does THAT sound?)
Wine (It IS Italy after all)
vinegar
other various herbs depending on the region.

The word Salami actually means "salted meat". Easy enough. That's why it tastes so good... and why it causes high blood pressure. My general rule of thumb is: If it tastes good, it's usually bad for you.

In short... this sketchy, mystery meat is quite delicious but should not become a lifestyle if you value your figure... it runs around 90 calories per slice (and thin slices at that) and most of those are from fat. Yummy, but deadly.

Edit: I just realized that my title kinda sounds like the description on a porn video... but in the interests of entertainment, I decided not to change it.

Top Ten Things Women REALLY want from men

2010-08-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

Top Ten Things Women REALLY want from men:

note: This is my opinion only. It certainly does not apply to ALL women, maybe not even most, and was meant to be a bit of fun.

10. TIME ALONE EVERY DAY. Yes, we love you. Yes, we want to talk to you. Yes, we want to spend time with you. We just need a small piece of time where no one needs ANYTHING and we can just chill.

9. FOR YOU TO HELP WITH THE HOUSEWORK WITHOUT HAVING TO BE ASKED. Just do it. It will save an argument later, and it might even get you a nice dinner or some kinky sex.

8. FLOWERS - yes, they die.. and we are ok with that. The point is that you thought about us during the day and wanted to do something to please us. It doesn't even have to be flowers... the best surprise I ever got was a pez dispenser shaped after my favourite cartoon character - because that means you listened and learned the things that I like and went to the trouble to show me.

7. A HUG - this is important. Women are nesters and affectionate creatures. We need reassurance that you love us.

6. THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT - sometimes we like to be mysterious. Not because we are doing anything wrong, but just because predictability is scary. If we say we're going out to do some shopping, don't give us the third degree about where we are going and what time we'll be home etc. etc. It feels kinda like an interrogation sometimes. This probably makes no sense, but trust me, if you examine your wife's comings and goings with a microscope you're asking for trouble. Just trust. And if your curiosity is driving you insane, ask, but don't dig unless you have a reason to. Conversations where you dig too much usually end up with, "I WAS BUYING YOUR XMAS PRESENT OK? " Which of course is very frustrating for everyone. And don't ask how much your wife spent at Xmas, that's just rude.

5. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF - this is a two-income-household world my friend. Your wife is just as tired as you are. So pick up your socks, pop cans, beer cans. No, it's not hurting anything on the counter but us girls take pride in a clean house. Just think to yourself.. what would my mother do if I left my pants hanging on the banister? She'd kill you, that's what. So pick them up.

4. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT - did you notice that your wife painstakingly folded your underwear or made all your favourites for dinner this week? Then tell her. Don't be a caveman.

3. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE - not because it's a "mans" job, but just because it's icky, and we don't like doing it. If we have to clean the toilet, the least you could do is take out the trash.

2. THE REMOTE CONTROL - share. You can do it.

1. GET YOUR FEET OFF THE COFFEE TABLE! No explanation required.

It's not paranoia if people really ARE out to get you.

2010-08-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in that position where you think there's a big giant joke involving you and you're the only one who doesn't know about it? No? I had one of those moments today, where I walked into a room full of people and everyone stopped talking. You could hear a pin drop.

Maybe it's because I'm so gorgeous they had to stop and stare, but somehow I don't think so.... (this affirmation comes mostly from the fact that I'm wearing baggy jeans and no make-up).

Maybe it was just one of those natural pauses in conversation that happen when everyone has run out of things to say.

Maybe they had the feeling that the exclamation that was about to come out of my mouth was soooo profound, that they all had to stop and hold their collective breath while I spoke.

So now I'm on a mission to find out exactly what the joke is... and how I can be a part of it. Perhaps there is some giant practical joke going on that I'm not participating in.

Or maybe I'm paranoid and I should drink less coffee.

The Power Of Nature

2010-08-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

The summer sky, taken after the last storm

Don't get me wrong. I love a good storm. The lightning, big peals of thunder, the sense that there is something out there that's still bigger than we will ever be. However, sometimes there can be too much of a good thing.

I'm writing this because I've just returned in from outside, where the beautiful August afternoon is trying desperately to shine while purple storm clouds await on the horizon. The looming, glooming kind of purple storm clouds.

Afternoon storms have become an event around here. Several power outages at work have caused major problems. I sit here praying to mother nature to pleassseeee hold off just a few more hours so production can finish.

It's not going to storm, it's not going to storm, it's not going to storm. Come on, say it with me!

My chinese fortune cookie said that if I was nice to people, good things will happen to me. I'm going to go now and run around the office to tell everyone how fabulous they are. Do you think that's enough? How nice is nice? Maybe if I get everyone coffee the rain will hold off until I go home.

Proving once again, that coffee is the answer to everything.

Update: No Storm! Horray!

The top ten reasons why I appreciate my job.

2010-08-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

This is an exercise in job appreciation. Because I really don't appreciate what I have as much as I should (does anyone?). Mostly I run around bitching about my job because it can be stressful sometimes. However, anything worth doing is stressful....

Top 10 Reasons Why I Appreciate My Job.

10. I learn new things everyday. This keeps my brain stimulated. I'd probably be drooling in a corner without that.

9. Occasionally I get to solve really big problems that make a difference.

8. Tim Hortons is right around the corner so I have a 24 hr coffee supply.

7. My office has air conditioning (if you knew how hot it was inside of the plant you'd understand why this is on the list. I used to work out there... not nice. Heat makes me cranky).

6. It comes with a paycheck. Fancy that!

5. I need some amount of stress to function... LOTS of that here! Functioning really well.

4. I get to boss people around. Mucho satisfaction.

3. Occasionally people realize that I know what I'm doing and the thrill of watching them look sheepish never gets old.

2. It forces me to get out of my pajamas everyday. Ok. I don't even know why that's on the list. I HATE getting out of PJ's.

1. The people I work with. Who also feel unappreciated. They have become my surrogate family... even though I'd like to run over them with my truck occasionally, it all works out in the end.

This is one of my coworkers. She makes my job easier on a regular basis and I think I would have probably quit if she wasn't here. I have no idea why she wouldn't let me take her photo (hence the blurriness... ok, so I suck as a photographer... thank god I don't do THAT for a living). I'm going to post this and send it to her as a message that she should LET people take nice photo's when the opportunity presents itself. Now the entire blogging community is going to think she has a blurry face.

Kitty Kat Woes

2010-07-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

This is Samantha

She has started to use the entire house as a litter box. I am trying to get my house ready for sale... eau du kitty-kat does not smell very attractive to perspective buyers. What do I do? Hubby is pushing to give her up for adoption. It would break my heart. No one I know wants her. I want her, but I can't have little messes all over the house! I don't know what happened. She's never been like this before. I have no way to make her understand how important it is that she NOT pee on the carpet. If only she knew that peeing on the carpet would result in a trip to the humane society, where they will stuff her in a small cage in a room with strays and other sick animals for adoption. And if she doesn't get adopted within 3 weeks, a nice volunteer lady will take her into the back room where they will inject her with a lethal dose of something that stops her little heart. AHHHH. I can't take it. My eyes are watering just thinking about it. How cruel does that sound? I don't know what to do.

The Great White Fishermen.

2010-07-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hubby took The Boy fishing today.
Well, at least they caught SOMETHING. I think it's a very nice stick.

Bigger Fish To Fry

2010-07-30T04:12:00.001-07:00

Hubby sent me this article the other day. It made me laugh so I though I would share. It was in the online news at Yahoo.com.

Tue Jul 27, 10:01 AM

By The Canadian Press

CHATHAM, Ont. - Police in Chatham, Ont., have charged a woman with assault after her boyfriend was punched twice — the first time in an alleged dispute over a sandwich.

Investigators say a man made his girlfriend a sandwich Monday evening and when she only ate half, she said he could have the other half.

A short time later, police say the woman became infuriated that the sandwich was missing and punched her boyfriend in the face.

Police say later in the night the two became involved in an unrelated argument and she punched him in the chest.

A 27-year-old Chatham woman has been charged with two counts of assault.

She has been held in custody pending a bail hearing.

Articles like this really put life into perspective. I don't know whether to laugh, or cry at the ridiculousness of the human race. Must be a thin gene pool.

Greener Pastures

2010-07-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

I'm 28 years old. I'm an adult. I have my own house, a car, and furniture I can jump on whenever I want. I have a grown-up job, bills, and financial responsibilities. And I'm homesick.

I miss my family. I miss my mom. I miss sitting on a tailgate with a beer and chit-chatting because I had absolutely nothing better to do. What's better than beer? I miss bonfires. You can't have those in the city. At least not the kind that I'm used too. Once we made one taller than the house. I miss burnt marshmallows. Sure, I could go camping like other city people do, but believe me - it's just not the same.

I miss having roots. I've been here for what feels like an eternity, and I have no roots. If I moved tomorrow I would not miss this place. Some of the people maybe, but I have yet to become attached to the way of life. I feel disconnected in a way I never thought possible.

Hubby does not understand my love for where I grew up. He thinks it's very quaint, like when you see a photo you like in a magazine and say, "huh, that's nice". He has similar home attachments to Welland, where he grew up. I love it there also, but it is not home. They say home is where the heart is... trust me, I have tried to relocate the feeling, but my heart is stubborn like everything else in me. I believe that comes from the Youmans side of the family.

Someone said to me a while back, "Good for you for getting out of there!" I looked at them strangely and said, "if I could go back tomorrow I would". Who wouldn't? Quiet, beautiful, lakes and rivers to swim in... ever wonder why everyone moves to cottage country to retire? Why they spend their entire lives saving to move to paradise and then show up North of 7? Because when you live HERE... THERE is the other side of the fence. You know, the greener side.

I'm in a major transition point in my life. On the edge of getting almost everything I've ever wanted. Isn't it funny that just at the time when I'm going to reach all of my goals in life I question it? I must be crazy. This is proof that you always want what you can't have, no matter how much you have to be grateful for. And I AM grateful. Grateful and homesick. I'm going to find a tailgate and a beer. Wanna play caps?

Cheers.

The Top Ten Obvious Signs That I Need Glasses

2010-06-15T03:49:00.000-07:00

10. I was incredibly depressed because I hit a cat on the way to work the other day. I discovered on the way home that it was not a cat at all, but a possum. Not that the possum deserves to get run over any more than a cat... but... well... cats ARE cuter and possums are pests.

9. Grass looks more like carpet as I can no longer distinguish the individual blades without concentrated effort.

8. I have to rely on the voice module on my GPS because I can no longer read road signs.

7. I am incredibly grateful for the invention of high definition television as it means I can actually see the hockey puck on the screen. Televised sports is much more enjoyable now.

6. My 300 year old accounting teacher has better eyesight than I do.

5. My fellow students think I am sooooo smart I don't have to take notes and thus can use the spare time to practice on my sketching. Thank-God they can't see my test scores.

4. My co-workers no longer park beside me. It is very easy to find my car in the lot... it's the one surrounded by all of the empty space.

3. I don't pass in my vehicle anymore because I am no longer confident on my ability to judge long term distances... cars that are far away are a little fuzzy.

2. The blinding stabbing pain that sometimes forms behind my right eye is getting really distracting. Presumably it's eye strain as I have perfect vision in my left and need a magnifying glass over my right. Perhaps I'll just tape my right eye shut and everything will be brilliant.

1. I drove past a man on a bicycle who gave me the finger as I passed him, safely I might add. Outraged, and just in the sort of mood to tell someone off, I pulled over and gave him a piece of my mind... at which point he calmly explained to me that he had been merely waving thanks in return for the generous amount of space I'd given him as I flew by his madly peddling person. Ooops.

I made an appointment at the eye doctor tomorrow. I realize you are all afraid to drive on the road now. Be at ease. When I close one eye, I drive just fine!

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-06-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

This is temporarily/ permanently on hold for very good literary reasons.... in short - I'm bored with it and have decided that it's not a good use of my very limited blogging time. When I first decided it wasn't working out I had a tinge of guilt - coupled with that little voice inside of my head that says.... "you never finish what you start". Which is occasionally true. Although, to my defense, I started breathing quite a long time ago and have been at it ever since. That's dedication.

The guilt started to recede when I realized that this is my blog and I can do whatever I want! So there! (You can't see, but I'm sticking my tongue out right now). As I have the sneaking suspicion that the only one who read them was Brink Beast (that kills me, it really does... you know what my teacher called me? She-of-little-attention-span), what was I saying - OH MY GOD, look over there! Is that a cat? No? Shame.

As I was saying, I don't think they'll be missed. Perhaps I will randomly post about randomly found blogs in the future. In the mean time - it's back to regular random happenings and my horrible photography skills. Thanks for participating in my experiment. It was a good time.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-06-03T08:45:00.001-07:00

Ooooh, a puzzle blog. Addictive, I swear. Go visit Critical Thinking Puzzles for puzzles and more! Excersize your brain... er.. excersise... exser... do you think there's a spelling blog out there somewhere?

Cat in Crisis!

2010-06-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

Excuse the photo. Felix was not being very cooperative and I find it impossible to get a shot of him with no red eye.

Anywhoo. Hubby called me at work the other day with a rather upsetting story. Our curiously-crazy, fantastically-stupid cat Felix had gotten himself into a near death situation all by his lonesome while we were at work.

Hubby likes to eat crackers. Hubby left the cracker bag beside the couch on the end table. It was very empty, with the exception of a few choice crumbs reeking of garlic and spice. Only one side of the bag was open in a conveniently cat head-shaped hole. Our darling Felix somehow managed to cram his fat head into the opening and get it stuck inside.

I should mention at this point that the bag was plastic, but not see-through.

Somehow, in a panic, Felix managed to get all the way upstairs and finally collapsed in the hallway. This is how hubby found him when he got home from work some hours later. The bag was filled with condensation from the poor fat-heads panicky breaths, and some small amount of vomit, presumably from eating garlicky crackers - which were not intended for consumption by those of the feline persuasion. Fat-head Felix had been trapped in a bag with his own stomach contents for most of the day - judging by the amount of spit and the state of his fur. My heart almost stopped when I saw the tiny opening in the bag. How did he survive that? How did enough oxygen get in around his fat head? Maybe he used up one or two of his nine-lives.

Fat-head seems to have come through this much better than I have. He is now clean and content. All manner of items that are cat head-shaped have been removed or trashed. Wonder if he will retain a memory of this incident the next time he risks his life for cracker crumbs?

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-06-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

Today's winner is a meme that I think I might play along with (what is the definition for the word meme anyway? Bloggers seem to have developed their own language... but I digress). The blog is Should Be Reading. Here's what the author has to say about the meme:

I think I will play along. What can I say, I love books.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-26T03:56:00.001-07:00

Today's winner made my day. Funny, creative, and well written (unlike me). Please visit Unruly Helpmeet when you have the time. If you don't laugh, I swear I'll refund the price of admission.

Look What I've Got!

2010-05-25T03:17:00.000-07:00

Hubby surprised me with a used Sony Book Reader that he got from Ebay. This is an incredibly thoughtful gift as Hubby knows my fondness for books. When I first found out about it I was very skeptical. Half the fun of reading is selecting the book from the store based on cover art, and flowery description. Plus you can't beat that new book smell. None of these features are available with the Sony Book Reader. It's just sort of... blah.

The first book I loaded onto it was Robert Jordan's The Path Of Daggers.

(I'm currently re-reading this because of the latest release in the series).

Look at this cover art:

How awesome is that? Look at what I'm missing? This is a lovely picture, but it really is much more impressive in real life. Cooked up right out of the artists/authors imagination. Sigh.

When I am reading a novel I will often flip back to the cover, or maps to help create a visual in my mind of the characters, or geographical reference. You don't get to do this with the book reader. There are zero graphics. Not that I need graphics... I DO have an imagination, but I miss them.

This is the part where I tell you I'm converted. Even though I had condemned it before I even attempted to use it, I am now an advocate of the digital book reader. Why, you ask? Several reasons:

1. It's very portable and is now a permanent fixture in my purse. I take it everywhere and use it all the time.

2.I no longer need to worry about dog-earring my precious book collection, or having it get squished up and torn on an airplane, (the fate of the most recent addition to my collection - The Sookie Stackhouse novels).

3. It's super light. Some of my novels are 700 pages or more and can grow quite heavy after an hour of reading. My hands never get sore from holding the book open, and I don't break the spines anymore by squishing them flat. Most of the time I'm not even holding it, it's propped between the bed and the wall. The reading experience is now much more comfortable.

4. I move a lot. A LOT. I have packed and unpacked the same books 10 times in the last 12 years. I've lugged them upstairs, and downstairs, in elevators, from car to car. I am TIRED of moving books. Now I don't have to. Ever again.

It was a little irritating flipping the pages so much at first. I had a hard time adjusting to the 5 inch screen, but now don't even notice. I love it. I'm converted. My entire book collection is being packed up to go to the used book store. All is right in the world.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-25T03:06:00.001-07:00

Today's chosen blog is Michelle In Russia go and check out her post on Cloud Blasting and tell me whether or not this sounds like a good idea. I'm all for saving the tax-payers money, but messing with the weather? Sounds dangerous to me. Michelle In Russia is an American perspective on events and culture in Russia. Now I have to add that to my One Million Places I'd Like To Visit List. Ok. So the list is only 127 items long. I'm working on it.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

Today's Daily Shout Out goes to Humor & Fun because it really did make me laugh out loud. It's a collection of random jokes that are actually funny. Read the one about the notes received from parents to excuse their kids from school. That one cracks me up.

Optimism keeps me sane.

2010-05-20T05:53:00.000-07:00

Today shut off my alarm clock then fell back to sleep without getting up. Then I stubbed my toe on the bedpost, (wrecking my very first pedicure EVER). Then I went downstairs to rush around frantically and stepped in a freshly puked up cat hairball - with socks on. Also the cat food had been spilled (Felix does not like his face to touch the sides of the bowl so when it gets low he dumps it over - but that is a post for another day). After cleaning up the catfood I went to refill the bowl and discovered that someone had broken into the cupboard, and eaten a conveniently cat-head-sized hole in the side of the bag. However, I did not notice this until after I'd yanked the bag out of the cupboard, effectively spilling 9.5kgs of dry catfood over my new kitchen floor. After cleaning this up I made a bowl of mini wheats. Then decided that I didn't need a clean pair of socks, I would just wear my sandals. Sigh. Mini Wheats and sandals. Everything was going to be ok. Then I got to Tim Horton's for my caffeine fix and didn't have change. I had to put the $1.75 on my MasterCard (thank god they have that option). I drove out to the highway to continue my commute and opened my coffee. Incidentally, this is one of my favourite parts of the day. I turn the radio on and smile all the way to work while leisurely enjoying my coffee. I take my first sip. There is no cream and no sugar in it. It's black. It tastes kind of like coffee - but without the good part. I sigh and stick it back in my cup holder. I look up and slam on the brakes because there appears to be a very large slow-moving vehicle in front of me. It's a farmers tractor. Normally I love farmers. I grew up on a farm. Today however, I am late for work. The tractor is moving at 45kms per hour. There is too much oncoming traffic for me to pass. We continue all the way to my turn off at 45kms per hour. My 20min drive has now taken 35. However, I am here. All is good, and now I'm talking to you! What could be bad about that? One of my coworkers will feel sorry for me and go get me a real coffee (plus I'm cranky without caffeine, they don't do it just to be nice to me.. it's really in their best interests), and all will be right with the world. Since I have a short memory, in about 15 minutes I will forget this happened and will go back to my normal, happy, smiling day.

I have no socks and have to put on my steal-toed shoes to go out into the plant. I now have sweaty, sock-less feet. Ew. I hope my coffee gets here soon. It's going to be a good day right? It's going to be a good day. It's going to be a good day. It's going to be a good day.....

UPDATE: Incidently, this was the worst day ever. The mantra was ineffecive.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-20T04:59:00.001-07:00

Today's Shout-Out goes to the one, the only, Stinkydog! Ok. I admit. It was the title that made me stop zooming through random blogs. It caught my eye. No one would entitle their blog Stinkydog unless they had a sense of humor right? (note: funny is a neccesary component to enjoyable blog reading for this crazy cat). I was not disappointed. The writers sarcastic, dry humor, is exactly my brand. If you're looking for a chuckle this morning, go over and take a peek.

Dear Ross the Teflon Guy

2010-05-19T09:24:00.001-07:00

Recently I wrote a post about my Angel Food Cake Experiment. The following day, I was shocked to find this comment:

My Dearest Ross:

I wasn't endorsing your product. Thinking back I probably should have used the words "plastic coating" instead of teflon, as I'm not even sure it WAS teflon. I certainely wasn't recommending that other people use your product, unless of course you're planning to cut me a check for the advertising expense? No? I didn't think so.

So I'm thinking you're a guy, who is paid to google the word TEFLON as some sort of market research experiment. Wonder if that pays well? Sorry, I digress. Anyway, I'm thinking you're just doing your job so I'm not going to go all spastic on you - but if you had bothered to read any of the other posts in my blog, or read Angel Food Cake post a little more thoroughly, you would know that I DO NOT, infact, write a cooking blog. I would never do that to the general population. Maybe a learning how to cook blog. Or something entitled "if my family depended on me to bake, they would all STARVE." Or possibly a how NOT to cook blog. Yes, that would work.

I purchased the mystery-coated pan as part of a personal journey into the world of ---> I'm a woman, I should know how to cook. (Do you like my arrow? This is what I use when I have no idea what punctuation is supposed to go where! Very effective, isn't it? Maybe I should use it more often). I did not purchase the pan because I think your product is wonderful, merely because it was on sale and it had Betty Crockers name on it (she's a cook or something right? Very famous-ish).

So... to make a long rant short - I think you should find a new career Ross. Your current one isn't very popular.

P.S. Please do not try to sell me anymore of your products. If I have need of a cookbook or a recipe I'll find it on my own. That being said, if you happen to stop by for another visit, please do us all the courtesy of responding without the sales pitch.

Cheers.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-19T06:31:00.000-07:00

Today's featured blog is Dr. Krog's Read Along Blog. I'm not sure if it's redundant to write a review about a blog that's about reviews... but who cares?

Most of you who know me are aware that I am a science fiction and fantasy writing junkie. I used to aspire to be a writer... but that dream was lost in the sands of time and the realization that I would never have proper grammatical skills, (just ask Carolina). That being said, I do love to read a good book, already I have several of the titles from Dr. Krog's reviews on my wish list. I'm sure that they can't ALL be brilliant, (I'm pretty picky with my reading), but what an opportunity to find out if the book is worth reading from someone who actually writes! The internet has made everyone a critic, but an informed opinion is hard to come by. Please take the time to pay him a visit and comment.

Happy Reading!

Who says tanning is evil?

2010-05-18T11:21:00.000-07:00

Ok. So the doctors, health experts, dermatologists, cosmetic reps, and even your mother have reported the risks of sun exposure. These risks are known to increase from long-term exposure to the artificial lights in tanning beds.

Well Guess What?

My doctor has perscribed tanning to me. Backwards isn't it? Aparently it's a cure for the winter blues. Vitamin D and all that. I voiced my concerns about skin cancer, and dying a horrible painful death from something I could have prevented by staying out of the sun....

Me: But... um... isn't tanning bad for you?

Doc: Yes. Yes it is.

Me: But you still want me to do it?

Doc: I think it's an option for your specific circumstances.

Me: Does that mean that I should do it?

Doc: Well, I can't really order you to do something that's harmful.

Me: But you think it's a good idea?

Doc: I think it's an option, yes.

Me: That's a little vague. Do I have an other options?

Doc: Well, we could try some medications. Some of the side effects are serious... depression, suicidal tendancies, insomnia, fatigue, headaches, muscle tenderness, and so on.

Me: So tanning is a better option?

Doc: I didn't say that.

Me: Yes I know. That's why I asked.

Doc: It seems like the most benificial with the least amount of side effects.

Me: So what happens if I do neither.

Doc: Nothing.

Me: So right now I'm not dying, but if I go tanning I might be a little more cheerful when the winter is here?

Doc: Basically. Yes.

Me: And quality of life is worth risking the chance of getting skin cancer?

Doc: I didn't say that.

Me: I KNOW. I'm looking for a little direction here. Can you help me out?

Doc: Why don't we re-asses in a few months. You can make an appoitment with the receptionist on your way out.

Me: Thanks for nothing.

I have been tanning for a few months now. Not over doing it, just a couple times a week and you know what? The doc is right. I have more energy, I'm blogging again, and my house is clean. Ok, no it isn't, but I could do it if I wanted to. It is 15 minutes of bliss 3 times a week. My stress melts away. If I could figure out how to do it all the time without killing myself I would. I have to warn you. It's very addictive, and I'm certainly NOT encouraging anyone else to try it unless you have a similar pointless conversation with your doctor.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-18T11:15:00.001-07:00

Today's featured blog is More Mindless Rambling. If this doesn't make you laugh, a space alien has cut open your brain and sucked out your sense of humor. Much like what appears to have happened to poor Jay Leno in recent months. Enjoy!

The Butterfly Effect

2010-05-17T05:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning dawned happy and sunny for the first time in weeks. We were visiting hubby's parents, who live in the Niagara region. There were lots of blooming lilacs, and blooming lilacs bring all kinds of beautiful butterflies.

Here is the boy attempting to catch a beautiful butterfly. His tactic is to smash the net over the poor critter while hoping that he doesn't squish it with the edge of the net. He's not very subtle. Ever.

Beautiful lilac. Can't you just smell it?

I said, "show me your butterfly hunting face", and this is what happened.

The beautiful butterfly The Boy was chasing. It looks sort of like a monarch, but isn't. Mental note to google that later.

Daddy has taken the net from The Boy in an attempt to capture the butterfly without smashing it. Daddy demonstrates the technique GENTLY with success.

Hubby and The Boy coaxing the butterfly into the bug carrier... incidently the butterfly DOES NOT want to be in there.

MISSION COMPLETE. Said butterfly is contained safely in its temporary home. All in a days work.

note: no butterflies were hurt in the making of this post. All butterflies captured were released after much oooohing and awwwing.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

I'm am terribly glad I found today's winner, Words...Thoughts...Nonsense. The latest post actually made me cry into my coffee, while the one previous to that made me giggle. Everything I'm looking for in a good blog. The author's "voice" is startling and refreshing. Go take a look, you won't regret it.

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

Today's Shout Out goes to Chicago Sit for extreme bravery in the face of bad neighbourhoods. It's a big wake up call to read about a journey in a busy metro area and reminds me that I definitly take my safe, suburban lifestyle for granted. Go take a look.

Sharks are scary when you're nine.

2010-05-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

While in Florida we visited Universal Studios. It was a fine adventure filled with Chirros, pizza, cartoon characters and very wet water rides. One of the attractions there was a thrill ride themed around the Jaws movies. As adults, we expected a nice tour around in a boat filled with some movie sets. The boy expected to see a real shark and possibly some fish (he is not familiar with the Jaws movies and prefers not to watch anything which may even LOOK like it's a horror film).

The boy, outside of the ride posing for a fun pic.

The boy procrastinating by VOLUNTEERING to be in fun pics. This is unusual behaviour, as he usually runs and hides when I get the camara out. This is probably a defense mechanism that has grown over time as a result of having to pose endlessly for family portraits taken by his beloved grandfather.

Some lovely scenery along the boat ride.

Some wreckage from the tour boat in front of us which has radioed MAYDAY for help from some unforseen accident.

The shark which ate the tourists in front of us. The Boy is now very nervous and is having trouble distiguishing the story from reality. He keeps looking at my smiling face as if puzzled about why we are still in the boat and why we haven't ordered the tour guide to get us out immediately.

The shark burst out of the water directly beside The Boy. He screamed so loud, people on the shore probably thought we were stabbing him to death. He is now SOOO terrified he is unwilling to listen to the soothing noises I am making as he tries to climb over everyone in the boat to GET OUT! There is only water on the other side of the boat. As a concerned parent, I cannot simply let him get out (the lap bar security system is apparently not made for rediculously skinny 9-year-olds). I hug him very tightly and explain that it is not real and we're not going to get eaten by sharks.

The water is now swishing around from the thrashing of the shark. Explosions are going off on both sides and The Boy is screaming as if he's developed a new mantra. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. I am now feeling horribly guilty for bringing him on the ride and am considering going to the police to turn myself in for bad parenting.

We then enter this dark area when we can feel the boat being lifted up. Sparks are going off on both sides, and the shark is back. The dark makes The Boy even more upset. Soon the shark is dead and we are out. The sun is shining and the ride comes to a close. The boy calms and then says....

" Don't even ASK me if we can go on that again."

The Daily Shout-Out

2010-05-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

After my long absence from the blogging world, I've noticed that most of the blogs I enjoy reading on a daily basis are also on hiatus. This forced me to go random blog-hunting for some new reading material. This in turned prompted me to notice that so many blogs go under-appreciated. In an hour of random blog surfing I found 3 blogs which inspired me enough to follow.

All this random greatness has given me the motivation to start a daily shout-out. Hopefully this will help all of us realize just how many entertaining writers are out there that we aren't even aware of. This will force me out of my little blog-rut and hopefully infuse some culture into these meager words.

So - without further adjectives or delays, todays shout-out is for Stacey who authors Sitting In My Green Room. Her photography is nothing short of brilliant (I'm very envious), and she has a wonderful sense of humor which translates easily from her camara to her words. Please take a moment to visit and see for yourself.

Birds are scary.

2010-05-13T02:50:00.000-07:00

In the lovely temperate zones of Florida there is an abundance of waterfowl attracted there by rich seas, and MacDonald's-eating tourists. I love wildlife, and I always thought I loved birds. Recently, I've discovered that my love of avian life forms is restricted to those that are small, cute and vocally brilliant. Upon landing at home base in Indian Shores, I discovered that I have a fear of birds. I was already aware of my fear of very large bird-like creatures (ostriches.... they have those creepy beady eyes that look at you like you're a giant bug they are about to snap up). Now I know that this fear is not limited by size... although size does tend to intensify the feeling that my eyes are about to be pecked out and eaten for breakfast.
Whilst in Florida we went to a lovely bird sanctuary. These birds were all trapped by man-made idiocy and needed help to free themselves. Many required medical treatment and some can no longer fly or take care of themselves. Awwww. They are scary, but even scary birds need love. I think the white ones with the razor sharp eye-poking beaks are called spoonbills... but I'm not sure.

This crane was actually coming to get me. I took the picture, then screamed and ran away.

Hubby is not afraid of the birds, but step-son is TERRIFIED - whilst trying to look manly and unafraid. He chose to throw the bread far, far away from the darting, vicious birdies.

No... this is not red-eye caused from the camera... this is natural red eye. Why does this bird have red eyes? I'm going with creepy defense mechanism to terrify predators from eating it.

The sheer quantity of birds here is ridiculous. There was nowhere to run and hide. The entire sanctuary was heading our way to take part in the feeding frenzy caused by the tossing of bread crumbs. Shorty after this I cowered in the car.

This is really a vulture. He is waiting for the other birds to peck out my eyes so he can have the rest.

This bird I actually thought was very pretty. Until I got up close and saw the red beady eyes. Pretty turned to creepy. The longer it stared at me, the more uneasy I became until the point where I decided that only crazy people visit bird sanctuaries and I - being NOT crazy - should vacate the premises immediately.

A grey pelican. The most numerous of the Floridian birds we saw.

These pelicans kept trying to steal step-sons bait whilst he was fishing. Then when he caught a little fish, tried to steal it while he was reeling it in. Have you ever seen a pelican with it's beak wide open? It could swallow a little boy whole. Powerful beaks made me keep a wary distance. They are not shy either - and they are not afraid of curious tourists.

While they made interesting photo subjects, I was very happy to get back to the resort and away from all the non-blinking eyes. whoaaaa. I still get shivers. If you notice, most of the shots are blurry, and to the untrained eye, this may seem as though I am a horrid photographer, but to us professionals it is easy to see that they are action shots. The blurriness is for effect. It allows you to really FEEL how fast I was running and screaming.

Mahuffer - Wurst Place on the Beech!

2010-05-12T04:45:00.000-07:00

Adventures in Florida. Sigh. In March, hubby and I went to visit his parents in Indian Shores, FL. Because most of the community is filled up with snowbirds (those that spend the summer in Canada, and the winter in Florida), hubby and I were looking for something to do in the evening. This particular evening, we struck out on our own to find some entertainment. This bar was just down the street from our resort.

We had heard tales of this place from some of hubby's other relatives who had ventured inside earlier in the week. I must say, from the "disgusted" description his aunt gave, I wasn't really looking forward to it. Hubby, however, was very excited so we ventured inside.

Hubby took this photo of me by surprise. I believe I was trying to wink and drink at the same time. He has such a good eye for catching me at exactly the worst point to take a photo. Anyways. Back to the bar. As you can see, there are bra's, panties, and other undergarments from various generations of tourists, most of them Canadian. If you added up all the money that had been stapled to the wall and signed by visitors, the owners of the bar could probably retire.

Hubby thought that this was much more interesting than Disney's magic kingdom. While I am prancing around trying not clothesline myself on hanging bra-straps, hubby is pointing excitedly to various articles of clothing and announcing things like "OMG - did you see the size of that thong?" Whist I am focusing on looking for somewhere to stand where I won't contract a major disease, and for the love of God - NOT touch anything, hubby is getting two more beers from the bartender so we can stay LONGER. I must say, after the second beer, I was feeling much more at ease, the place didn't really seem so bad, plus it was raining outside. Who wants to walk in the rain when you can study archaeological items such as garter belts from 1955?

There were 2 dogs like this one lying on various bits of furniture and mingling with the customers. In Canada this would be illegal (something about health code violations or disease control), but in the good ole US of A, all is well. This dog was cute and rather friendly, but like the rest of the bar, needed some hygienic attention.

All in all, it was an experience I'm glad I had... and no - I did not staple my bra to the wall. I thought briefly about leaving a sock, but didn't have any on.

Out of my imagination

2010-05-11T05:18:00.000-07:00

It started when I was 4. It was Easter. I have no idea why I remember that it was Easter, only that it was. That's when my re-occurring nightmare began. It always starts the same way. I'm walking down the stairs to the kitchen in my nightgown (presumably because it is morning). My mother is at the kitchen sink doing dishes. She hears me, and turns around, starting to smile. Then when her eyes fill with the vision of me standing at the bottom of the stairs - her look changes. It changes from her pleasant, good-morning-happy-to-see-you-face, and turns into her OH-MY-GOD-SOMETHING-IS-TERRIBLY-WRONG face. Not something a 4-year-old wants to see. The butterfly's are fluttering madly in my stomach now, and I timidly ask,

"What's wrong mummy?"

"OH MY GOD" she says, "you have OLD FASHION PURPLE NAILS!" Then she screams this long diva-like scream, which would make any cheesy horror flick proud.

I look down at my hands and they are sprouting these ridiculously long, purple fingernails which curl around themselves in a spiral like fashion. My heart feels as though it will burst in my chest.

I have no idea why this is so incredibly scary. It has some variations which are slightly less scary to live through. One version involves me trying to play the game Perfection with my terrifically terrifying talons. When I say it out loud it seems not so scary at all. Interestingly enough, the dream repeated itself a few times a month for years. If I was a shrink, I'd say I had mummy and daddy separation issues, but I'm not so I'm going to chalk it all up to an over-reactive imagination and too much sugar in my grape Kool-Aid.

If you google purple nails you will discover it is a symptom of blood clots or liver disease. Maybe I'm psychic and it was a prediction of things to come. Or maybe I just have an over-reactive imagination. What kind of 4-year-old dreams up OLD FASHIONED PURPLE NAILS anyway?

Angel Food Cake... sort of.

2010-05-10T09:01:00.001-07:00

The box says Fat Free... and it was too. Right up until the point where I slathered (love that word), it with white frosting - complete with rainbow chips. So Yummy.

I've learned that getting an angel food cake out of the pan (I should mention at this point that said cake is my 3rd attempt), requires a certain amount of patience, and some specialized equipment. As my pan was teflon coated and I didn't want to ruin it, I made due with a spatula. It sort of worked. The cake came out... or most of it anyway.

So... frosting an angel food cake... not so easy as it seems. I waited for the cake to cool and then applied said frosting. The frosting ripped the top of the cake off... but no worries, I glued it back on with more frosting.

Needless to say, not a stellar attempt, but edible. Hubby would rather the cake WITHOUT the frosting, and my co-workers would rather the frosting without the cake. So the end result was a happy medium really. I just love it when everything works out well in the end, don't you?

A toast to the end of financial struggling!

2010-05-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

Not that the struggle will ever be over, but hubby has accepted a new job! After being out of work for nearly a year and a half, he is heading back to the work force to a much better position that the one he left. I feel as though the biggest weight ever has been lifted off my shoulders. I am so proud of him! Finally we can begin again.

Just thought I would share. I have far too many butterfly's in my stomach to write anything brilliant.

HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS! I actually baked.

2010-04-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

Ok. So it came out of a box. So I only had to boil water and add an egg. It still counts! I never bake (I'm not very good at following instructions). I took pictures as evidence so my mother would believe me. Needless to say it was mediocre at best.

This weekend I will attempt cupcakes... out of the box. And possibly bannana bread, but I'm scared.

Trouble on Eight Legs

2009-09-29T04:23:00.001-07:00

These are my kids. They were featured a while back, but let me introduce them again... The Siamese is Felix, and the Grey and White is Samantha. They are trouble on eight legs. They get into everything! Paper scraps are their absolute favourite, but they'll settle for anything that's chewable or makes crinkly noises.

They used to hate each other. Hard to believe eh? I should mention that the basket they're sleeping in is Samantha's bed. She doesn't like to share and would normally sit on Felix until he moved, but on this day she was content to snuggle with him. They are both crammed in this box so tight that the sides were bending out! Aren't they cute?

God I miss shopping.

2009-09-28T04:57:00.000-07:00

Remember the days when we all had money? Sigh. I do. I am a self-diagnosed shop-a-holic. Resisting the temptation to buy a new sweater, or some scrapping supplies, or a new purse is a challenge for me... especially the purses. How I love a new bag. Since the economic craziness started I've had to scale back... WAAAAYYYYY back. Which is not an un-due hardship, but in order to avoid spending money I have simply stopped visiting my favourite stores so as not to lead myself to temptation. After all, a recovering crack addict wouldn't hang out with their dealer now would they? Unfortunately, I've since discovered that shopping is a big part of my well being. It makes me feel good, both about myself, and my home. I like to have new shiney things,(hubby likens me to a raven collecting bits of tin to put in her nest). I miss the self-confidence boost that comes with buying a new outfit. Especially since I've dropped the equivalent of 4 bags of potatoes worth of fat and am now feeling much better about myself.

I have placated myself by shopping at Value Village, which is the local thrift store. It's brilliant really. You'd be surprised at the amount of new stuff people just give away. I came home with a whole summer wardrobe for $50. I would have spent 4 times that in a new store. However, even that is a stretch right now if I want to keep up with my financial goals.

I have now settled for challenging myself to reuse what I already have in creative ways. I have started wearing belts and scarves, (unheard of previously), and changing my jewelry, combining 2 pieces at a time... and keeping all my old purses so I can change them whenever I get bored. I've also started using anything and everything I can find for scrapping. Odd bits I thought never to use have been re-purposed, painted, or cut down. This almost satisfies my inner-shopper... almost.

What are you doing to cut back, but still have fun?

Caution... I offend easily without thinking.

2009-09-25T14:05:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should get that tattooed on my forehead... what do you think, colour or black and white?

After reading the lovely comments left on yesterday's post I was quite shocked. I off-handedly (Jinksy, is that even a word?) called everyone who doesn't wear a helmet stupid.. which is a word that I tend to over use. Mostly I was just expressing my frustration about my concern for hubby, not trying to insult the rest of the planet, (should they share his views). I am also not in the habit of calling my hubby stupid, nor do I believe he really IS stupid. I SHOULD have said stuborn, pigheaded,and ignorant... see? There I go again. Needless to say, he usually finds me entertaining and I am not a man-abuser! Please read my posts with a grain of salt, if I tend to rant with colourful language, it is usually meant to entertain and not to hurt. I would never intentionally write something in a public forum to hurt someone else. When I get stressed about something, I tend to develop a sarcastic tone and make a joke out of it... probably not the healthiest coping mechanism, but I like to laugh.

To anyone who may have been offended, my profound appologies. I write to entertain myself, and anyone else who happens to pop in. I am extremely grateful for all of your comments, and your honesty.

Only stupid people don't wear helmets.

2009-09-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hubby got hit by a car last month. Idiot. He was riding his bicycle when some lady pulled out of Tim Hortons and smoked him. The bike went under the car, and hubby went over. Thankfully the only casualty was the bicycle. Hubby ended up with a separated shoulder, but was ok. Needless to say, this incident freaked me out, and has made me more than a little paranoid since. Enter the evil helmet discussion.

In Ontario, it is law for anyone under 18 to wear a helmet when riding a bicycle. However, if you are an adult, you may use your own judgement, (or lack there of). After hubbys recent ambulance ride, I asked him to wear one. He refused. He is afraid of looking stupid... as if walking around with a smashed-in skull would make him look cool. "Chick's dig scars", he said. I pleaded, begged and cried. Nothing worked. He flat out refuses to be safe. Now I get this sick feeling every time he goes out. If he's late, I have visions of fantastic smash-ups involving various degrees of destruction to both hubby and vehicle. He could alleviate all of this craziness by just putting the damn thing on his head. Why are men so dumb? Stupid Question.

What do you think? Helmet, or no helmet?

Yogurt does not go with everything.

2009-09-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

Somebody put watermelon in my yogurt. And cantaloupe, AND hondeydew melon. I was grocery shopping in a hurry last week and picked up the first package of individual yougurts I saw and hurried to the checkout. As you may have guessed by now, I do most things in a hurry... well, more of a panicked dash really, as I am generally late for everything. Right. Back to the yogurt. I zoomed home with my groceries, threw them in the fridge, and promply forgot about them - as by that time there were several other emergencies that needed my attention.

The next day I brought the yogurt to work. Without looking at the container I opened it and ate some. BLECK. Somebody put watermelon in my yogurt. Why would they do that? More importantly, why would I BUY it? I am really going downhill with my shopping track record. Sigh. I probably would have paid more attention if I knew people were manufacturing that crap. Yoplait, if you're reading this, are you out of your MIND? Why would you take perfectly good yogurt and make it taste like THAT? I've been trading with the accounting lady at work for her normal kinds. You know, blueberry, strawberry, that sort of thing.

I should manage that I pulled out the next kind this morning and it has Coconut in it... BLECK! Someone put coconut in my yogurt...

Evil Shoes Of Death.

2009-09-21T06:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry for my long absence from the world of blogging. Summer time is insane to begin with and this one was particularly crazy. As usual, I over-scheduled myself for almost EVERYTHING. Why do I always think I'm super woman? No idea.

I missed blogging terribly. There's some kind of therapy involved in writing a short blurb everyday. And maybe it doesn't matter to most people, but it matters to some, and for those of you that missed me while I was away, thank-you. I missed you too!

Enough Mush. On to today's topic: Shoes of death!

I bought a pair of shoes yesterday. There were on sale. I didn't really LOVE the way they fit my feet, but they were only 6 dollars! How could I pass that up? The store I purchased the shoes from was carpeted. I pranced around quickly, threw them in my basket and went on my merry way. Yesterday I put them on, fully intending to wear them to brunch. My floor is linoleum. You can see where I'm going with this, can't you? I took two steps and promptly fell on my a#$. I picked the shoes up and actually LOOKED at the bottom,(which from this point on will become part of my routine upon footwear purchase), they are made of HARD PLASTIC! Who makes the bottom of shoes out of hard plastic? Did they run out of rubber? Was the machine broken? Do they have 100% carpeted floors in Thailand (country of origin of shoes of death). Unfortunately I can't find the receipt for the 6 dollar shoes, which are now in the trash. I literally THREW them in the trash. Then I poured 3 day old bacon grease on top of them for effect. TAKE THAT EVIL SHOES OF DEATH! No longer will I purchase inferior footwear, no matter what the cost. I now have effectively thrown 6 dollars in the trash when I could have just bought a latte and a scone. Leason Learned.

Why read Fantasy?

2009-07-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

My hubby is eternally puzzled about why I feel the need to pick up a fantasy novel when I could be reading a true crime, murder mystery, or some such other equally acceptable piece of literature. I say to him, I don't want to read something I can see on the news or CSI. I get my fill of that stuff everyday in real life. I want to read something that has it all: Mystery, adventure, war, murder, romance, sex, happily-ever-after, and the epitome of what every little girl wants: A fairy tale.

You see, I never got over my childhood dream of being a princess, of finding a frog and kissing it to rescue prince charming, of rescuing nations in distress from all means of magical mayhem. Why should I have to? I read in my spare time for fun, as a form of entertainment, and to exercise my creativity and imagination. When do we get too old for that? Answer: Never.

I'm not quite sure why I feel that twinge whenever I walk into the fantasy section at the bookstore... you know... that twinge that means other people are probably looking at you and thinking you're a weirdo. I look around and see many people that I would label as "nerdy" or strange. But who the hell cares about labels anyway? I read fairy tales for grown-ups (ok... and a little teen lit thrown in there), and dammit I'm proud!

Take what I'm reading currently for example. It's the sword of truth series. There are 10 books (I think), and they are so wonderful, I've read some of them half-a-dozen times. They are a worn and treasured favourite. I cry when the characters die (even though I KNOW they are going to die because I've read it before), I'm ecstatic when they win. I love to hate the bad guys, and love to cheer for the good guys. If you are enjoying twilight, or any other of the vampire culture books and are feeling the need for something more, this is the place to go.

Reading fantasy novels doesn't make you a nerd... it simply makes you well read!

P.S. The first book in this series is Wizards First Rule. Highly Recommended.

Suspicion Q&A

2009-07-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

A few things I have learned in the past few weeks.

What is the greatest compliment you can give your partner? The benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, or go find someone you CAN believe in.

What is the fastest way to ruin a relationship? Constant accusations of cheating, which brings on self-rightous defense mechanisms, which lead to anger, frustration, and a need to eat an entire container of chocolate ice-cream. Confront your partner 1 time, if you are sure you have grounds, then drop it. If you are still suspicious, the trust with your partner has been broken and you have a serious problem. There is not enough chocolate ice-cream in the entire world to make you feel better.

What's the root cause of jealousy? Paranoia. Fear of losing something because of lack of self confidence. Your partner is with you because they saw something in you that was worth keeping. If you spend all of your time worrying about it disappearing, how will you ever enjoy it?

How to boost your self confidence? If you don't believe in yourself, niether will any one else. You cannot fully love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Lack of self-confidence brings misery for both of you. Stop carrying around all that unessesary stress and just LIVE. Perhaps you will no longer NEED the ice-cream, but will spend time enjoying it instead.

Life is hard enough without creating stress for you and your partner. If you can't get over your feelings, get help or get out! Life is too short to be miserable forever.

Vacation on a Budget

2009-07-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

Like most of the rest of the world, we are a little short on cash at the moment. We are comfortable, but unfortunately the spend, spend, spend lifestyle we used to love is a thing of the past. Every year, I have the first 2 weeks of July off. Usually I would go up North to cottage-country and spend a blissful fortnight in the comforts of my childhood, but alas, this year we had to stay closer to home... very close to home... and while camping in the driveway was an option, I can't imagine sleeping on those little pointy stones. So instead, we came up with in-expensive day trips. I HAD SO MUCH FUN! We had Hubbys son for half of the time.

Travel to a nearby beach on Lake Erie. Beautiful sand, freezing cold water, and lots of sunshine. Cost: 1 kite for $1.25, and $5 in gas. We had so much fun we went back for the next 2 days!
Walked to a local festival. It was Ribfest, but due to the fact that we are watching what we eat, we opted to have dinner at home (plus it was within walking distance! Score!). Cost: $5 for an all day pass for the kids play zone - which consisted of giant inflatable bouncy attractions. The little munchkin could not get enough of these, and asked to go back after supper for some more fun! There was lots to see and local musical talent. Free admission.
Went to the Wednesday market! I've never been able to go, as I'm always working or out of town, it was FANTASTIC. Basically like a giant flea market, with home baked goods, local artists, and crafts.
Cleaned up the gardens and the front porch. Now I have a little paradise to relax in after work. It's beautiful. Hubby will make some new flower boxes for me next week. Cost: $20 in mulch (badly needed!)
Read 2 complete novels on my newly cleaned front porch. I can't tell you what a luxury it was to have time to read. Cost: Free!
Took the munchkin to see Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Cost: $30. It was a good movie, I'm a sucker for cartoons.
Watched the entire first season of the show Dexter during the nights with hubby. If you haven't seen it, you should! Cost: Free.
Visited the driving range (my god my golf swing is GONE). Had a lot of laughs, mostly at my expense. More fun in the sun. Cost: $9 for 2 large buckets of balls.

We did lots of crafts with the munchkin, and went to see him play baseball, (he was sooo cute) I'll try to post a pic later, but my camara is dead at the moment). I came back to work feeling relaxed and refreshed, without the stress that accompanies a long trip. It was wonderful. A vacation with all the comforts of home! Plus, I have a great tan.

How NOT to get promoted

2009-06-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I had a bit of time at work and thought I would email this really funny joke to a co-worker of mine. I got it all ready and hit the send button with out checking the To: line. This is unfortunate. Instead of sending it to the co-worker intended, I sent it to the corporate accountant with the same first name. The picture was of me doing something silly as a child.

Original Email: HA! How cute am I?

Response from Corporate: Yes, you are very cute... but who are you? I think you've sent this to the wrong person...

My Reply To Corporate: Um.. yes. Very cute.. not so smart! Sorry about that!

Forward to correct recipient: I hope you find this really funny, because it's going to get me fired.

Thank god it wasn't something really inappropriate. With all the knowledge about how NOT to abuse my work internet privliges (I think I even had to sign a memo), you'd think I would know better. And I quote: Cute.. but not so smart!

What your kids do when you're not watching...

2009-06-09T19:15:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how to post the actual video on my blog, so you'll have to click on the link and see the real thing. This is a real 911 call by a 4yr old boy. Super funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT4NOe4vtoM

Stolen Memories

2009-06-09T04:57:00.001-07:00

Is that a crazy looking baby or what? This is me at 1yr old. Apparently, I was a camara ham, and would pose dramatically whenever anyone had a lens on me. I prefer to think that I was just so cute, people couldn't resist!

I went home to mum's a couple of weekends ago for her birthday and stole most of her photo's to bring home and copy. Mostly to feed my scrapbooking addiction, and because I have almost no pictures of our family. If you're reading this, and you have children, take lots of photo's of them now! There are almost no photos of my brother and me together with our parents. Lots of baby photos, but almost nothing after that. There are some of the few vacations we took, but almost nothing with my parents in them. As my parents are getting older, it makes me a bit sad to know that I have so few images of us as a young family. So please, get out your camaras and snap, snap, snap.

Why do we never say what we mean?

2009-06-08T10:17:00.001-07:00

I understand we were all raised to be polite individuals, not to upset anyone unless unavoidable, and to put other people before ourselves. I think these are all basically good life lessons... except somewhere along the way we stopped expressing ourselves completely. For example:

Polite: Can we talk?
Reality: I am REALLY pissed off and you'd better do something about it!

Polite: I see. Why would you think that?
Reality: You are being paranoid again, and aren't listening to what I'm saying.

Polite: I understand how you feel.
Reality: I will say absolutely anything to get this conversation over with.

Polite: I'm sorry.
Reality: I'm not really. I'm only saying that so you will stop nagging.

Polite: Nothing is wrong.
Reality: I'm going to make you suffer in silence until you can guess why you're in trouble.

Polite: I'm Fine.
Reality: You are in SOOOO much trouble that I can't even speak to you!

Polite: I need to be by myself right now.
Reality: I think that if we stay in the same room together for one more second, I'll throw something heavy at you. Or possibly something sharp and knife-shaped.

Polite: I'm doing my best to communicate effectively with you.
Reality: I'm so frustrated I want to pull out my eyeballs!!!! Why don't you listen to what I'm saying!!!

Polite: I think I need a drink.
Reality: I need a drink to numb the irritation. I may have two. Scratch that, I'll drink the whole damn bottle.

Who else has one?

Who knew so many people got up at 5am?

2009-06-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I made a decision. Instead of going to the gym after work and spending an entire hour working out on the cardio machines (snore), I would break it up into 2 half hour sessions. One before work, and one after work. The gym is just around the corner from my house, so this is no big deal.

I got up at dark-oh-thirty this morning and threw on my gym clothes, (hubby was initially going to come with me, but backed out when I shoved him awake this morning and he realized I was serious). I jumped in the car, BEFORE coffee, and raced around the corner. I thought it was strange that there were so many cars in the parking lot, after all, the mall wouldn't be open for another 4 hours, but figured there was some kind of night inventory crew or something. I opened the doors and my jaw dropped. All of those people in the parking lot were IN THE GYM. So much for my quiet peaceful workout. Doesn't anyone have anything better to do at 5:30 in the morning? The only elliptical machine left was the squeaky one with the broken cardio-theatre hook-up... so my workout was silent. I tried not to be too miserable, after all, I hadn't had coffee yet so the quiet was probably better anyway. Except for the fact that I couldn't drown out the annoying squeaky noise with some Great Big Sea. Stupid squeaky noise. How much can a can of W-D40 possibly cost anyway? Damn, I'd even put some canola oil on it if that noise would stop. I couldn't believe the lady at the desk was peacefully reading her novel throughout my squeak-filled workout. Maybe she's deaf. I wrote a note in the suggestion box to fix the squeaky elliptical, which will probably go ignored... the box is really just there for decoration I think.

Tomorrow I shall try 5:15 and see if I can sneak in before the crowd. Don't people sleep in anymore?

Oh well. If this is the worst thing that happens in my day, all is good.

Vampire Culture Craze - True Blood Review

2009-05-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of http://www.true-blood.tv/Photos/Season1/Season1.html

It seems since the release of the series "Twilight", the world has gone Vampire crazy. In the past we've seen vampire horror flicks, from the cheezy "Blade" series, (which I happen to love), to the artful, "Interview with the vamipre" from the 90's. There are several new movies out, and a new HBO series which I recently discovered, (now that I FINALLY have cable again and the hockey playoffs are almost over). It's called True Blood. You have to be really interested in the whole vamipre thing, (which I am), to really enjoy it... otherwise it comes off as a cheezy, sleezy show with mediocre acting. However, I am super interested in the story line.

The entire premise of the show is based on the idea that synthetic blood can be manufactured, so vampires can live out in the open without threat to human life, ( I know, I know... very sci-fi... but come on, it IS about vampires after all). The vampires struggle to have the same civil rights as humans, and to fit in with human society without fear of persecution. Some vampires are "good", and some are not happy with the change in status and are still killing whom they please. There is also a whole sub-culture of sex-crazed vampire groupies who get paid to let vampires bite them.

However, with the good must also come the bad... there is just TOO much sex in this show. I didn't really need to see so much of the lovely Anna Paquin. I expected as much with an HBO series, as sex is what sells these days, but it borders on pornography. I've been reading reviews of season 2 and it appears that viewers are in for even more graphic sex scenes than were present in season 1. I wish they would tone it down a little, but who am I to judge?

Each episode ends with an incredible teaser that adds drama and keeps me watching. It's not nearly as addictive as Twilight, but it will keep me going until the next movie comes out in November.

Have you seen the show?

Dear Mom:

2009-05-22T04:29:00.000-07:00

Today is your birthday. You are 50! I can hardly believe it. I know you are self-conscious and think you're getting old, but I think you're a magnificent, beautiful, and strong woman.

I am so grateful that you are my mother. I remember visiting friends as a child and was confused about why they didn't want to spend every second of the day with their mothers. They would go to extensive lengths to avoid them, and had none of the closeness that we have shared through-out the years. Looking back, I think they were envious of me, because I had the most amazing mother anyone could ever ask for! I know they all thought you were "cool", but that wasn't why they all loved you so. They would watch us and the love and affection that we so easily shared and wish for a piece of that for themselves. Most of my childhood friends ask about you every time I see them, not to be polite, but because they are genuinely concerned and care about your welfare.

For the last few years you have been struggling with an illness that I don't understand. It makes you tired, weak, and unable to do the things that give you joy. I know you feel isolated from the rest of the world. I wish I could take this burden off of your shoulders and make you smile again. I can only imagine the amount of pain you must be feeling, especially when you admit to it because you were never someone who complained to others about your hardships.

You are, undoubtedly, the hardest worker I have ever met. You never did anything half-way, but attacked every task with determination. We never lived in a mansion on the hill, but what we had was clean and well taken care of. You took pride in a clean house, and it showed. Frequently, when someone compliments me on a job well done, I tell them I owe it all to you. Because of you, I know the value of hard work and the pride I can take in what I accomplish.

When we were small, you did whatever you had to do to make sure we had what we needed, as well as your love and support. I know sometimes you have doubts about your parenting, as I'm sure every parent does, but you were always there when we needed it most. Whether it was to laugh with us, hug us when we were sad, or give us "tough love" to point us in the right direction. You gave us all the tools that we would ever need to grow up and be successful adults as well as shaping us into the people we've become. Not only did we learn right from wrong, but also compassion, strength, confidence, love, and trust.

I was not the easiest teenager to live with, I know that now. You always said, "you'll understand when you grow up,"and I do. Through all the mistakes I made, and some of them were pretty big mistakes, you supported me and helped me through all of it. You always threatened to lock me in a closet till I was thirty, but you let me go my own way and live my own life even though sometimes it was against your better judgement. Despite all the freedom I had to become my own person, people still say I turned out like you. Nothing could make me prouder.

So today, I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you more then you could ever know. I will carry all you've taught me, and the love you've shown me all the days of my life.

Thank-you for being my mother,

Love Julie

A bowl of soup.

2009-05-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

It's 12pm. I am at work, and the whole world has gone INSANE. Not only am I moving tomorrow, so my entire life is disorganized and crazy, but I seem to be having a streak of bad luck professionally as well. Feeling unorganized, I decided to make a To Do list, but after developing writers cramp and misplacing Pg2 of 7, I decided that was an inefficient way to tackle my tasks.

I am typing this while eating my lunch because I need some measure of sanity. Today's lunch is soup. MMM . I am a soup addict. It is the ultimate comfort food. Why am I eating my lunch at my desk you ask? If I took my lunch to the cafeteria, I would undoubtedly be bombarded by questions and "emergencies", which, of course, cannot wait until I eat my cream of broccoli. I have tomorrow off, and I'm trying to prep so my boss can take over.. but that hasn't really seemed to happen yet. I'm still buried in morning craziness.

Hubby has been calling me with questions of "do you know where", "what if we put the couch this way," and "I found a microwave stand in the paper, can you go pick it up?" My concentration is totally frazzled, (not so different from any other day really), and the stress is beginning to make me giggle at inappropriate moments. For example, right now one of the engineers is trying to peek through my blinds to see if I am in my office. He has tried repeatedly to call me on my cell, and my desk phone with no success. I can hear him in the hall asking for me. I KNOW he can hear me laughing. Perhaps he thinks I'm doing something naughty. HA! That made me laugh harder. I'm turning the light switch off now in hopes that he will go away. My soup is not done yet.

Each mouthful is heaven. I am getting full. Better slow down to prolong the procrastination. My phone is ringing again. Someone is paging me over the loud-speaker.

I have just flicked some soup onto my lovely pink sweater with the flimsy plastic spoon. Who invented plastic cutlery anyway? Does it have to be so flexible? Thank-god for Tide Pens. Now there's someone who has a lot of money. Tide Pens are miracle cure-alls for the klutzy and grace-fully challenged such as I. I once spilled an entire coffee on my nice white t-shirt (while driving), and managed to have the whole thing clean by the time I reached Hamilton. It really is amazing stuff.

Sigh. The soup is gone. Said Engineer is now knocking impatiently on my door. So. Back to the real world. So much for the 1hr unpaid lunch. I can do this. I can make this day a success. Somehow.

To Joke, Or Not To Joke.

2009-05-15T04:54:00.000-07:00

I make jokes at the most inappropriate times possible. I think it's because as a small child, I learned that laughter is a great tension reliever... especially when your parents are fighting, or your mother is depressed, or your brother is behaving badly to get attention. Unfortunately, this is a behavioural trait that has carried on into my adult life. Believe it or not, there IS a time to laugh and a time to cry... however, the majority of the time I choose to laugh and almost everyone I know disapproves.

Inevitably, as soon as there is tension in the air, my not-so-funny bone kicks in, my mouth opens, and words come out. In normal circumstances, these words would be hilarious... but not so much at my grandmothers funeral, or at work in the middle of a crisis, or on layoff day when I said... "Look on the bright side... now you'll have more time for origami and knitting!" Insensitive right? I mean.. most of those people were worried about how they were going to feed their children, and here I was making jokes.

I wanted to get up and say something at my grandmothers funeral... but I couldn't. I was afraid. I was afraid I would open my mouth and out would come some smart-assed comment which would be delivered with good intentions... but would sound like I was up there doing stand-up instead of talking about my feelings and what a special lady my grandmother really was. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Some people like to look on the bright side of life... I like to look on the funny side. I can make a joke out of pretty much anything, and usually they are at my own expense. I try not to hurt others, but sometimes the inappropriateness of my timing is horrifying. Those who know me well will stomp on my foot, or kick my shin to let me know when I am behaving badly.

Once at a wedding with co-workers, I made a comment about one of the ladies lovely hair cuts. She was a co-worker that I hadn't seen in quite sometime. I remember shouting something to the effect of: "Why'd you cut off all of you lovely hair... I mean, you're hair cut is really wonderful, but you had the nicest long wavy hair I'd ever seen!" Doesn't sound bad at all right? As soon as I said it the entire table went silent. It was at that precise moment that I remembered that that particular co-worker had been off for quite sometime do to cancer treatment, chemo, and radiation. She hadn't cut off her lovely hair at all... it had fallen out. I wanted to die. But that wonderful women just looked at me, smiled, and said: "Sometimes your hair falls out from chemo, mine did, so I got a wig! Isn't it pretty?" At this point, I was wishing God would strike me down with a lightning bolt. There she was trying to ease MY humiliation when she could have gotten angry, (and rightly so), and tore a strip off of me. So then, I did what any self-respecting, humiliated person would do. I got very, very drunk and focused all my energy on making her laugh for the rest of the evening. She passed away a few months later, but I often think about her and her quiet, forgiving demeanor. She was probably the most patient soul I have ever met, and one of the sweetest women to walk the face of the earth.

I try to think before I speak... but it doesn't always happen. I still put my foot in my mouth far too often, but not nearly as much as I used to. I think the times when I can use my humor to cheer people up far out-weighs the times when I accidentally hurt others. I was thinking of making a t-shirt that says "CAUTION: I TALK BEFORE I THINK" But I thought that the only person who would find that funny would be me.

Cordova Mines

2009-05-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a small hamlet in South-Eastern Ontario, called Cordova Mines. It currently supports a population of approximately 100 people, quietly nestled in the pines. When I was small, it was the ultimate place to grow up. We fished, we hiked, we climbed enormous rock shelves, and played cowboys and Indians among the hay bales. When we first moved there from the city of Hamilton, we lived in a old, lumbering duplex on the edge of town. Behind the house, the old mining property began. Cordova used to have a gold mine you see. We would wander back there and play miner. Many of the old buildings, train tracks, and enormous piles of ore are left like worn souvenirs of the past. We would scoop up pieces of shiny iron pyrite and gloat about how rich we were going to be when we found the gold that the miners left behind. There are still open shafts that were never filled in on the site. Looking back, I'm surprised my mother let us play there as I'm sure she was quite nervous about us slipping to our doom. It was a great place for adventure!

My great-uncle used to own the original Cordova General Store. After he sold it, the owners converted it into a home for them and their 8 children.

I used to play with their kids and I remember much of the old stock was still there for years. Old dress patterns, yarn, and other supplies. A house next door to the original was converted into a general store after the sale, but has since been closed. A brand new log-home store was built a few years ago and now serves the remaining population.

In years gone by it was a booming town with post-office, bakery, butcher, and craftsmen. Now mostly deserted and overgrown it's hard to believe it was ever such a bustling place. Two churches still stand, and the local fire hall, but it is a shell of it's former glory. Forgotten in time like many other mining communities in the same area. The spirit and pride of the town is still going strong though. The residents come together to help one another in times of need, times of sorrow, and times of celebration.

Every time I go back, I am surrounded by friends and family in a town where everybody knows your name. It is a simple life, but a good life.

photo General Store borrowed from http://www.ghosttownpix.com/ontario/towns/cordova.html

Thanks to David for the inspiration! http://david-mcmahon.blogspot.com/2009/05/doorway-to-gold-rush.html

Couch Critters - real or fake?

2009-05-13T04:58:00.000-07:00

I received this email today and it reminded me so much of our dughallmor beagle friends I just had to post it!

WATCH THAT DOGGY DOOR Could you imagine coming home from work to find this tiny creature napping on your couch with your dog? Guess who came home for dinner? It followed this beagle home, right through the doggy door. This happened in Maryland recently. The owner came home to find the visitor had made himself right at home. This hit the 6 o'clock news big time

I'm not sure if I beleive it or not, but it sure is cute! What do you think... real, or fake?

How NOT to do laundry

2009-05-12T08:29:00.001-07:00

With the move coming up next week, we've been extremely busy. I'm am getting less, and less organized everyday. Yesterday while rushing to get my chores done, I threw in a load of laundry while I was waiting for dinner to cook. I didn't check pockets. This is unfortunate. Have you ever washed an entire package of cigarettes? It looks like someone ate a bowl of bran flakes and then threw-up on my dress pants.

Edit: I also washed Halls cough candies once... the cherry kind. Really amazing things happen when you put them in the drier. They melt onto your clothes and your socks stick to the drier. On the other hand... my laundry smelled great!

What do you consider a necessity?

2009-05-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article on MSN news this morning, about what qualifies as a neccesity and what we consider a luxury. Like most of you, I am seeking ways to save money and decrease monthly expenses.

I was shocked to find that most people considered cable tv a necessity. TV, really? Come on. If you can't survive without 50 channels, maybe you should consider getting a hobby. Besides... if you have an internet connection, you can watch most shows online anyway. Why pay for it twice? It is one of the first things I have considered cutting should we lose any more income.

Faster downloading was also considered a necessity. Lite Internet vs unlimited downloading is a difference of about $50 a month for cable Internet. I would consider downloading excess amounts of data a luxury, unless you need it for work. Most libraries offer free Internet services, plus there are numerous Internet cafes if you need your online fix. Inconvenient yes, but not impossible.

Most people consider having a car a luxury. Where I live, I have to have a car. There is no public transportation from one town to another here, but if I lived in a big city I'd be taking the train. Or carpooling. Not only is it healthier for the earth, it's better for your pocketbook.

Luxuries we have that I could live without if I had too...

Clothes Dryer - I could hang to dry, but it's inconvenient.
Microwave - I could heat it up in the oven, but again... inconvenient
Cable tv/internet
Cell phone (we all know how I feel about THAT)
Take-out food

What would you give up if you had too?

Bathroom Rockstar

2009-05-11T04:51:00.000-07:00

Since the start of Season 8 of American Idol, I have been secretly practicing my imaginary audition to be on the show. Mostly I sing in the car where nobody is around to hear me, but occassionally I sing in the shower or at work when the office is mostly empty. Well, the gig is up. Hubby has caught me singing into my hairbrush in-front of the bathroom mirror. And not just singing, but dancing and the whole bit. The best part? I was completely stark naked....

Hubby: Um.... what are you doing? (I freeze... I'm not a good liar, so I decide to fess up)

Me: Me? Well um.. I'm auditioning!

Hubby: To be a stripper?

Me: NO! To be on American Idol!

Hubby: I think you should hire a wardrobe consultant before you go. (Hubby laughs)

I am now red-faced and decide that the best option is to slam the door in his face and hide my humiliation in private. I am unsure why I feel so humiliated, and I have to admit it WAS really funny, but for some reason, hubby's hysterical laughter from the other side of the door made me want to throw something at him. I opened the door and threw my hairbrush "microphone". Hubby just laughed harder.

Don't get me wrong... I have no illusions to actually auditioning for the show. I can sing ok, but as soon as people are watching, I choke. Maybe everyone ELSE should be naked, and then I would not feel so humiliated, but there it is.

Now everytime I have a shower, hubby sneaks into the bathroom to see if there is going to be a "show" after. I am never going to live this down.

Zombie Chicken?

2009-05-07T11:56:00.001-07:00

Carolina has given me an award! I am very flattered, because she is such a smart cookie, and ridiculously funny. I will cherish it always.

Now apparently, I get to nominate 6 others, but I think that's a bit much. So, instead I'm just going to nominate one.....

Jerry from Fun With Chickens! Duh... who else would I give it too? Jerry is crazy funny! Give him a visit if you have a minute!

Edit: I forgot the instructions!! Must be the Zombie Chickens.
The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all!

Adventures in Landlording Part II

2009-05-04T09:24:00.000-07:00

Here's an update:

Mystery Substance on bedroom wall looks suspiciously like vomit, but cam off with much scrubbing.

Marker on carpet came off with some serious heavy duty steam cleaning.

Hockey Stickers are unfortunately still there.

Fridge and stove still need to be cleaned

Bathroom - bleach has brought the science experiment to an unfortunate end. However, now that the science experiment has been allowed to continue for so long, the bathroom walls, floor and ceiling are now rotted and need to be replaced. This will happen as soon as I win the lottery.

We've changed the locks and done some other minor repairs. My lovely neighbour has been cutting the grass for us. See? Chivalry is not dead!

I forgot to mention that the entire front and side porches smell strongly of cat urine. Yum. Does anyone know how to get rid of that? Apparently soap and water are not enough. I have lovely hedges that I would rather not cut down.. but I will if it gets rid of that god-awful stench!

Sigh. Back to work!

Adventures in Landlording

2009-04-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

I think I've mentioned before that I've been renting my house out to a lovely couple for about a year now. Or, they were a lovely couple until the lady of the house decided to live elsewhere.... leaving the now-bachelor gentlemen to live by himself for 2 months. I'm guessing that was the last time the house was cleaned...

Yesterday I got the keys back! Very exciting. Hubby and I were hoping to paint and do some minor maintenance before the big move. Here are some of the interesting things we found:

-Full fridge, complete with leftover pizza and something I think used to be a sandwich. Oh. and the fridge was UNPLUGGED. Yummy.

-Colourful hockey stickers all over my trim in the living room. They are very sticky and will most likely need to be scraped off. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge hockey fan, but I don't need a sticker from a cracker-jack box to remind me how much I love Wayne Gretzky.

-Said couple had a beautiful 4 year old son who apparently is quite an artist! What a shame they wouldn't get him some paper so he could take his creative scribbling with him instead of leaving it behind all over the carpet, the walls, and the baseboards in his bedroom. There is also a lovely display in the upstairs hallway so we can all be inspired every time we make a trip to the loo.

-They also left a complete science experiment in the bathroom, complete with colourful displays of mold and mildew on the shower curtain. I wasn't aware that it came in pink. How cool is THAT?

-They left their beautiful brass bargain-shop coat hangers screwed to my dining room wall. Now, I can conveniently hang my coats on the wall for decoration! How inventive. I'm sure it will add great ambiance during dinner parties.

-These people REALLY loved to watch cable. There is cable stapled to the walls running all over the house. Unfortunately, I may have to remove it as it doesn't match the beautiful, original oak baseboard that it's stapled to.

-I think the entire family was afraid of the dark as they removed all of the doors to the bedrooms... we did happen to find them in the upstairs closet. I suppose night lites weren't available where they were shopping, but now I have a complete open-concept bedroom style. I should send a photo to House & Home magazine... maybe I can start a trend!

-Mystery substance on the wall of the master bedroom. Ok. I can't even make a joke about this one. EW.

So, instead of painting, hubby and I will clean the house from top to bottom and steam clean the carpets, and repair damages (particularly a large hole that seems to have appeared upstairs). How exciting!

I Am Awesome

2009-04-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

What do you need to be motivated? A raise? A promotion? A challenge? Not me. I simply need a little recognition. I took on a project at work, went above and beyond the call of duty, presented it to the team yesterday, and shone like a superstar! When I came in today, my boss made sure to tell everyone what a good job I did. How wonderful is THAT? I was so flattered I could barely breath. Important people were noticing little ole ME! I feel like I made a difference. I feel like I can move mountains. All from a nice little chat this morning with the team to showcase my efforts.

In a week, probably no one will remember anything about this... but I will. Just goes to show you a little goes a long way. What a happy day.

What it means to be Canadians.

2009-04-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

For a country as large as we are, you would think we'd be in the news all the time. Not so much. Most people around the world know us as "that country that's above America and is really, really cold". Well, we are above America, and it is cold here in the winter, but what else is there? What makes Canada unique?

I have heard people say that we are an extension of the United States with a different flag. This is not so. A comparison would be to say New Zealand is an extension of Australia, or Scotland a copy of Britain, with a stronger accent. I'm sure all parties would disagree, and some would be down right upset.

So what makes a Canadian?

Well, the first and most obvious would be our deep, ingrained love of the good old hockey game. We stand outdoors in the frigid -40 C temperatures to cheer on our favourite neighbourhood teams. We learn to skate as small children, with the assumption that someday we will play, or at the very least be a voice in the bleachers. When the NHL playoffs are on, the streets in rural Canada are empty and you can hear the cheers and the disappointments ringing across the night sky.

We are outdoors people. We fish, we hunt, and we drive anything with wheels across the forested landscape and consider it time well spent. I learned to drive off-road all-terrain vehicles before I had a licence. A day spent splashing through the mud and sliding around corners would be heaven.

A typical Saturday night involves tailgate parties, a fire, and someones beat-up acoustic guitar. We don't make trouble. It's a good time.

In a typical Canadian city, culture is a mixing pot of language, arts, international food, and business. We invite anyone who wants to be here, and they bring their culture and way of life with them. We do not believe this makes us less, but more. We have some of the best musicians in the world: The tragically Hip, Great Big Sea, Barenaked Ladies, I Mother Earth, Shania Twain, and the list goes on. We have some of the most recognized actors as well. Names like Jim Carrey, Howie Mandell, and Donald Sutherland come to mind. We make fabulous, award winning movies that get little recognition in main stream cinema, which is a shame.

People sometimes make jokes about the size of our armed forces... which I don't understand. Why would living in a peaceful nation with little need for aggression be something to be ashamed of? I'm not. Instead of maintaining an expensive military, we invest in our future, and our resources. Our soldiers are called Peacekeepers, because that is what we do.

We have one of the most diverse climates in the world. We have rainforests, prairies, arctic tundra, and some of the most fertile farming land on earth.

We do not live in igloos, our Northern Peoples are not called Eskimo, they are Inuit.

We do not ride horses to work, nor do we take our dog sleds.

Our Parliament buildings are not made out of ice. They are masterpieces of stone and mortar.

We have four seasons here, and it gets VERY hot in the summer. There is even summer in the Arctic, although it is shorter.

We do not live in the shadow of the United States, we cast a big enough shadow for ourselves.

We do not hate Americans, we actually enjoy a close economic relationship with them and are happy being neighbours. Plus, they have great restaurants like the Olive Garden, and Cracker Barrel... what's not to love?

We take our coffee VERY seriously!

We are Canadians and we are proud!

Caution... In Training.

2009-04-24T05:57:00.001-07:00

http://www.timhortons.com/

Hubby and I were doing our usual mad-dash errand running after work last night, when I decided that I just HAD to have my Tim Hortons coffee fix. The line up was only 2 cars long so I figured we should be able to make it through drive through, and still be on track to run out to the local WalMart and still make our movie on time. We pull up to the speaker. I order 1 large coffee with 2milk and 2 sugar (god I miss those french vanilla cappuccinos..).

I began to get suspicious when the car in front of us shut off his engine. Why would someone need to shut off their engine to be in line for 30 seconds to get a coffee? Maybe he was trying to prevent global warming by decreasing his vehicle emissions? Weird. We put the car in park and waited.

About 3 minutes went by and still nothing had come out of the window... what was this guy ordering? A full course meal? What a jerk to make a huge order in drive-thru. I mean, there are no rules limiting your order, but it's just plain rude to hold everyone up when you could go inside and with your larger orders. Someone else has now pulled in behind us effectively trapping us in the line-up until we can exit after receiving our order.

Finally she hands him one medium coffee and hubby and I sigh in relief. Awesome. He's got what he needed, and now it should be our turn. 10 seconds later he hands the coffee back through the window.... what? What's going on? After all that time they didn't even give him what he ordered? Wow. Coffee is what this place does. How could they screw that up? 2 minutes later she hands him a large coffee, and he spins out of the parking lot in a hurry. Well, there goes one dissatisfied customer.

YAY, it's our turn! My mouth starts to water in anticipation of the bitter-sweet richness that is my obsession. Just thinking about the dark, smooth aroma instantly lifts my spirits. We pull up the window and the girl stares at us blankly like she has no idea why we would possibly looking at her expectantly. I read her name tag... it says "In Training". Ohh. Well, that explains the speed problem. No worries, people have to learn sometime right? My irritation evaporates and I smile at her through the window. She is still staring blankly. Finally hubby knocks on the window and she opens it...

Hubby: Um... do you want our money now?
Trainee: Sure. Thanks.

Said trainee takes the money and turns back to the counter. We can see that she is not putting the money in the register, but instead carrying it around in her hand. She is standing there staring at nothing, and after a few minutes turns back to look at us as if wondering why we are still there... I speak up:

Me: Um, my coffee?
Trainee: Oh. Sure.

She pops out of sight for a moment and comes back with a large cup.

Me: 2Milk 2Sugar?
Trainee: No. 2Milk 2Sweetener.

She moves to hand hubby the cup.

Me: May I have one with sugar please? I don't like sweetener.

By now we have been in the drive-thru for a total of 10 minutes and hubby is VERY impatient with me, the poor girl, and the entire world in general. We are running behind schedule and hubby hates being late... (Aside... I am late for EVERYTHING.... so this really doesn't shock me at all).

The trainee hands me a new coffee and we drive away. She never did give us our change... good thing I didn't give her a twenty. Hubby is muttering under his breath and driving like the world will end if we don't get out of the parking lot ASAP.

I open my cup, mouth watering. It was worth the wait, I think. I take my first sip and almost spit it all over the windshield. By now I am laughing hysterically, as if this is the most hilarious event ever.

Hubby: What now?
Me: Um. Well.... she got the 2milk 2sugar thing perfect.
Hubby: Good. So you got what you wanted then...
Me: Not exactly... I'm afraid that she's given me tea.

Hubby threatens to turn the car around.

Me: No, No, No. Tea is just fine. Lets go!

I can see the irritation is making Hubby's eye twitch. I try to sooth him by telling him about the lovely flavour of my steeped tea, (Incidentally.. I hate tea). It works and soon he is laughing too. We are both wondering where all the other employees were. Tim Hortons is usually run by a small army of workers to ensure super fast service and accuracy. They are considered to have one of the most efficient management systems in Canada. Who leaves a trainee alone to deal with drive-thru? Maybe no one else showed up?

We go and do our shopping, and drive by the same Tim Hortons on our way to the movie... which we are now late for. Cars are lined up around the parking lot and nothing is moving. It occurs to me at this point that Tim Hortons should probably consider putting up a sign at the entrance to the drive through that says: "Caution.... drive-thru attendant in training"... but then I changed my mind. It would completely take the mystery out of life.

Edit: We were mentioned on post of the day! Please go and check out David's work on autorblog if you have a moment! Thanks again David!

Oh Mother, Where art thou?

2009-04-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly sure what my cats THINK is happening to me when the bathroom door is closed, but I'm assuming they believe that a giant monster will swallow me whole unless they get in there.... immediately.

No sooner do I close the door when I see little kitty feet appear under the door. One chocolate coloured one, and one white and grey. Then come the frantic sounds of them digging at the carpet, as if they could burrow their way in to save me from the terrible monster. Last come the loud and insistent, "WOW?" from Felix and they sweeter, more lady-like cries of Samantha, as they look for reassurance from me that yes, I am still alive. I haven't disappeared, and the monster has not eaten me. Finally I open the door so they don't wake hubby and they rush in to investigate. Felix immediately jumps in the tub to vanquish any evil terrors that may be lingering amidst the shampoo and the bodywash, while Samantha hops into the sink to ensure that she has all of my attention to herself and that I will protect her from the monster should it re-appear. After they have assessed that all is as it should be they hop to the floor to play their favourite game... attack of the mystery paws! With one cat on each side of the open door, they take turns sticking their feet under the door to entice the other to attack. This can go on for hours. If I close the door and one cat is outside, the other immediately wants out and the entire process begins again. I have no idea where they think the monster is hiding when the door is open.

Interestingly enough, they don't seem to care if hubby gets eaten when he is in the bathroom with the door closed.

Look Out! Golf Season is here!

2009-04-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

I am a walking contradiction. I am probably the klutziest person known to man, yet I love the game of golf. I should take a minute to mention how horribly bad I am at all sports... including this one. I hit the ground more often than I hit the ball, and I'm quite sure I look like an idiot when I swing my girlie clubs. I believe that I hit geese more often than the green, but this is unimportant. What is important is that rush of adrenaline that shoots through my veins when I actually hit the ball in the correct spot, the correct way, and it goes roughly where I hoped it would. Then I can finally say, "I did it! Did you see that shot? I'm amazing!" Of course, this could all go down hill rapidly with a badly played chip that was supposed to land on the green but somehow managed to bounce of the cart of the team playing the hole next to the one I'm on... but for that brief moment, I am the best golfer who ever lived.

I have to admit, I found golf scary and very intimidating at first. It seemed an "upper-classmen" sport where I didn't really fit in. This is not the case. Look around the clubroom and what you will see is a lot of people trying to look posh and sophisticated, but who are really just everyday people with a set of used clubs and some fancy duds. Just like me. There are plenty of people, who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, who are just there because they love the game, the challenge, and the culture of golf.

It's raining now, but as soon as it clears up I off! Happy golfing!

Stationary Pack-Rat

2009-04-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

I could spend hours in a stationary store. What a shame the world has stopped writing letters and the average ninth-grader need not worry about his or her penmanship. The delicate script, the bold ink, the feeling that can be expressed by double underlining and ripping the page slightly... all pieces of a by-gone era. Do you remember the excitement felt when you received a letter? Not a bill, nor a flyer, nor a new credit card with fake promises of low interest rates... but an actual letter?

Once, a very long time ago, I had a pen-pal in Luton, England. His name was Mike Waters. I've tried many times to find him again, unsuccessfully, just to say thanks. He wrote wonderful letters full of the charming culture that is England. He sent me photo's and wrote of the scenery, and parts of his everyday life.

I also used to write letters to my friend Corinne... even though we saw each other every single day. We never seem to run out of things to say, which is unsurprising as when we are together no one else can get in a word edgewise.

When I would get a letter, I would patiently wait until I got inside to open it. Then, carefully peeling back the lip of the envelope, I would gently slide the folded parchment out as though it were made of glass. So cherished were these letters... something I could keep and preserve for a lifetime. I can remember the rush of excitement as I hungrily devoured each beautifully scripted word. Brief disappointment followed the signature, for I had finished and the tale was never long enough. Disappointment quickly faded, only to give way to the excitement of creating my own letter.

Of course I thought I was a literary genius, with my pink pen and purple paper. I still smile when I see those pink bic pens that are floating around in my old pencil case. They are probably dried up but I can't bring myself to part with them.

Now that I'm a scrapbooker (see my other blog if you're curious), I have all kinds of pens and paper, glue and tape, stickers and buttons. It would probably shock you if I tell you how much I spend on this creative craft. Of course, my favourite part of scrapping is journalling... telling the story. The love of which has blossomed over the years, beginning with my very first stationary set.

Good News for Cereal Junkies Everywhere

2009-04-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

Cherrios has come out with honest-to-God good for you junk food! I bought a box yesterday. They taste like Fruity Pebbles, except with the goodness of whole wheat! Life is good. I would have never beleived it possible if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.

Mmmm.... fruity.

Do you drink as much water as you should be?

2009-04-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

So. By now I am completely obsessed with reaching my healthy goals, but as a requirement of losing the equivalent of an entire extra person that seems to have grown onto my ass, I have to drink more water. MORE water. I thought... you know, the whole 8 glasses of day thing was enough. They don't tell you how BIG those glasses should be. My trainer tells me I should be drinking 2000ML or 2L per day. Which doesn't sound that bad until you realize that 2L per day computers to 4 bottles of water. Even then.. 4 bottles of water... how can it be that bad? Well I'm here to tell you that it's really, really challenging. I was probably drinking about 2 bottles before... and that was forced down at meal times. I'm not a big water drinker... yes, yes, I know the benefits... healthy skin, weight loss, less water retention... but I just don't think about it until I'm so thirsty, I chug an entire bottle in one breath. So my challenge this week is to drink my entire daily portion of water everyday. By the way... coffee doesn't count! So I have this water bottle on my desk... It's staring at me ominously... I pick it up... drink... and immediately the urge to pee hits me AGAIN for the 6th time today. I can't stop really. I think I've spent more time in the loo today than anywhere else. People are going to start thinking I'm having a problem. But really, how often does the average person go to the bathroom anyway? I have no idea, however, I believe that 6 times in eight hours is WAY too many!

2009-04-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I was over at So I Stabbed Him In The Head With A Fork and found this interesting link. Find out how bad you are!

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Low

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com