A Present For Puppy

Fia, the newest member of our Family, got a new bed this week. It's basically a giant pillow and is much more comfortable than MY bed. I'm thinking of trading her. She sleeps on our bed most of the time anyway. Maybe she'd like it better.

We are still having some trouble building a relationship between the felines and the canine. The cats basically try to ignore her, though Felix really would play with her if he wasn't worried about getting eaten all the time. Fia doesn't like to be ignored. Especially by her "competition". You can tell she would just like to put an end to it all and eat them. I believe she is aware that this would upset me because every time she chases them she looks at me with the most fore lorn expression. As if to say, "I'm sorry mom, but they're so tasty-looking, can't I eat just one? You DO have two after all...." It seems as if she wants to eat Samantha more than Felix. This surprises me. Samantha is the skinny, bitchy one. Felix is plumper and would make a much better meal. Samantha would be more of a snack really. An appetizer.

Bon Appetite!

Kitty Kat Woes

This is Samantha

She has started to use the entire house as a litter box. I am trying to get my house ready for sale... eau du kitty-kat does not smell very attractive to perspective buyers. What do I do? Hubby is pushing to give her up for adoption. It would break my heart. No one I know wants her. I want her, but I can't have little messes all over the house! I don't know what happened. She's never been like this before. I have no way to make her understand how important it is that she NOT pee on the carpet. If only she knew that peeing on the carpet would result in a trip to the humane society, where they will stuff her in a small cage in a room with strays and other sick animals for adoption. And if she doesn't get adopted within 3 weeks, a nice volunteer lady will take her into the back room where they will inject her with a lethal dose of something that stops her little heart. AHHHH. I can't take it. My eyes are watering just thinking about it. How cruel does that sound? I don't know what to do.

Cat in Crisis!

Excuse the photo. Felix was not being very cooperative and I find it impossible to get a shot of him with no red eye.

Anywhoo. Hubby called me at work the other day with a rather upsetting story. Our curiously-crazy, fantastically-stupid cat Felix had gotten himself into a near death situation all by his lonesome while we were at work.

Hubby likes to eat crackers. Hubby left the cracker bag beside the couch on the end table. It was very empty, with the exception of a few choice crumbs reeking of garlic and spice. Only one side of the bag was open in a conveniently cat head-shaped hole. Our darling Felix somehow managed to cram his fat head into the opening and get it stuck inside.

I should mention at this point that the bag was plastic, but not see-through.

Somehow, in a panic, Felix managed to get all the way upstairs and finally collapsed in the hallway. This is how hubby found him when he got home from work some hours later. The bag was filled with condensation from the poor fat-heads panicky breaths, and some small amount of vomit, presumably from eating garlicky crackers - which were not intended for consumption by those of the feline persuasion. Fat-head Felix had been trapped in a bag with his own stomach contents for most of the day - judging by the amount of spit and the state of his fur. My heart almost stopped when I saw the tiny opening in the bag. How did he survive that? How did enough oxygen get in around his fat head? Maybe he used up one or two of his nine-lives.

Fat-head seems to have come through this much better than I have. He is now clean and content. All manner of items that are cat head-shaped have been removed or trashed. Wonder if he will retain a memory of this incident the next time he risks his life for cracker crumbs?

Trouble on Eight Legs

These are my kids. They were featured a while back, but let me introduce them again... The Siamese is Felix, and the Grey and White is Samantha. They are trouble on eight legs. They get into everything! Paper scraps are their absolute favourite, but they'll settle for anything that's chewable or makes crinkly noises.

They used to hate each other. Hard to believe eh? I should mention that the basket they're sleeping in is Samantha's bed. She doesn't like to share and would normally sit on Felix until he moved, but on this day she was content to snuggle with him. They are both crammed in this box so tight that the sides were bending out! Aren't they cute?

Adventures in Landlording Part II

Here's an update:

Mystery Substance on bedroom wall looks suspiciously like vomit, but cam off with much scrubbing.

Marker on carpet came off with some serious heavy duty steam cleaning.

Hockey Stickers are unfortunately still there.

Fridge and stove still need to be cleaned

Bathroom - bleach has brought the science experiment to an unfortunate end. However, now that the science experiment has been allowed to continue for so long, the bathroom walls, floor and ceiling are now rotted and need to be replaced. This will happen as soon as I win the lottery.

We've changed the locks and done some other minor repairs. My lovely neighbour has been cutting the grass for us. See? Chivalry is not dead!

I forgot to mention that the entire front and side porches smell strongly of cat urine. Yum. Does anyone know how to get rid of that? Apparently soap and water are not enough. I have lovely hedges that I would rather not cut down.. but I will if it gets rid of that god-awful stench!

Sigh. Back to work!

Oh Mother, Where art thou?

I'm not exactly sure what my cats THINK is happening to me when the bathroom door is closed, but I'm assuming they believe that a giant monster will swallow me whole unless they get in there.... immediately.

No sooner do I close the door when I see little kitty feet appear under the door. One chocolate coloured one, and one white and grey. Then come the frantic sounds of them digging at the carpet, as if they could burrow their way in to save me from the terrible monster. Last come the loud and insistent, "WOW?" from Felix and they sweeter, more lady-like cries of Samantha, as they look for reassurance from me that yes, I am still alive. I haven't disappeared, and the monster has not eaten me. Finally I open the door so they don't wake hubby and they rush in to investigate. Felix immediately jumps in the tub to vanquish any evil terrors that may be lingering amidst the shampoo and the bodywash, while Samantha hops into the sink to ensure that she has all of my attention to herself and that I will protect her from the monster should it re-appear. After they have assessed that all is as it should be they hop to the floor to play their favourite game... attack of the mystery paws! With one cat on each side of the open door, they take turns sticking their feet under the door to entice the other to attack. This can go on for hours. If I close the door and one cat is outside, the other immediately wants out and the entire process begins again. I have no idea where they think the monster is hiding when the door is open.

Interestingly enough, they don't seem to care if hubby gets eaten when he is in the bathroom with the door closed.

An Introduction

I realized this morning, while doing my usual speed run around the house before work, that i haven't introduced my ridiculously spoiled cats to the world yet.
This is Felix - also known as Bubba, black-faced monkey (doesn't he look like one?), baby blue eyes, dragon breath (he has the worst breath EVER!). I don't have very many good shots of him because he has exceptionally buggy eyes which do NOT photograph easily at all. In fact, I find the whole process frustrating because he always comes out looking like a red-eyed, psychopathic, serial-killer kitty, when really he is very sweet and stupid. I really do believe he has significant mental challenges to overcome. He was abandoned at the animal shelter with his friend... a Chihuahua... and he looked so pathetic, I knew no one would ever adopt him. Which was sad because he was so gentle and quiet. He's definitely not in the "best in breed"category... or in any category for that matter. His eyes are buggy and set wrong for a siamese, he has an incredibly large under-bite... fangs come up over his face and everything, his tounge sticks out of his mouth, and sometimes he wakes up and doesn't know where he is, has a panic attack, and attemps to flee through the glass patio doors... He is a classic example of what happens when you over-breed animals and there is not enough genetic material to go around... That being said, I think he's lovely. He is content to sit on your lap and snuggle, but will also leave you alone if needed, he doesn't try to steal food off of your plate, and he likes to be talked to. I really could do without the 5am wake up call for attention though. If you've ever owned a Siamese, you know what their lungs are capable of. Felix stands outside the bedroom door, pulls at it with his feet and yells, "WOW?" As in.. are you getting up now? Can we play a game? Do you know where I left my stuffed hamster? His favourite spot to sleep is on the corners of the couch where he can see everything that's going on, but still stay out of Jeff's way.
This is Samantha... also known as Princess, kitty face, goosebump (don't ask, I have no idea), fancy feet, girlie, pretty girl, crazy head, beautiful girl, baby kitty, sweetheart.... in fact... I don't think I ever call her Samantha...
Samantha was also rescued from the humane society. I got her for christmas two years ago. Her favourite things are eating... and eating. If I let her she would eat until she exploded, like a goldfish. Everytime I enter the kitchen she assumes it's because I'm going to put more food in her bowl. She waits paitently beside it until I leave the kitchen... sometimes she will stage a coux and push her bowl into the middle of the floor... just incase I didn't notice it was empty. She is rather solid for a little cat and I'm sure my vet will say she is obese at our next check-up. If I leave her alone overnight she will attack the bread, buns, muffins, or anthing else that is left on the counter. Once I couldn't find her and she was underneath my desk inside a chip bag. Apparently she had exausted herself by licking all of the seasoning off from the inside of the bag and had to have a nap - immediately.

She is rather stunning though. With lovely green eyes and a shiny coat. She photographs beautifully and makes an easy subject. She is unbelievably lazy, and makes almost no noise, except when she is staaaaarving, and even then it's only a very small, quiet "mew?" She likes to sleep in my scrap box downstairs, the linen closet, and the bathroom sink.

These are my children. Someday I would like to have some human kids, but until that happens, I will have cats.