Random Strange Quiz

Someone sent me one of those weird, random question emails today. You know, the ones where you divulge useless information about yourself so we can all be idiots together? So I decided since I had to fill it out, the least you could do is read it. I'm vindictive like that.



1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Not sure. I'm a cold-hearted bitch!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yep. I write like my mom. Comes from years of writing my own notes to get out of school.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Salami. Yum.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Sort Of.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yep. Who wouldn't?

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No way. Not at all. Never. Ok. Maybe all the time.

8.. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No. I'm allergic to scary.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I'd have to go with Captain Crunch. But I'm a cereal addict.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not ever. I'm a big fan of shoe horns.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I could totally kick your ass.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Caramel Pecan Crunch.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes and smile for sure

15. RED OR PINK? Pink. Red is for serial killers, and I only do that on weekends.

16. What is the weather like outside? Bloody Freezing

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST My brother. He's an ass, but it would be nice to see him once in a while. He lives in Alberta.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yes

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black shoes with small heal that make a really annoying sound when I walk. I actually like the noise, but secretly I like to drive everyone crazy.
Be right back, I have to go make a couple of laps in the hall just so everyone knows I'm still here.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? cinnamon raisin bagel toasted with butter.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? lift trucks smashing into stuff.

2. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Orange. How can you be sad when you're orange?

23. FAVORITE SMELLS outside? fresh cut grass. Oh, and gasoline... which may account for the lack of brain cells I seem to have these days.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? boring conference call from work.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Ya. She kinda grows on you... you know, like fungus.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? love to watch track and field at the Olympics.
27. Hair Color? Blond. And yes, it's natural.

28. EYE COLOR? bluish greyish.

29.. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no, but I probably should.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Anything I can put cheese on.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. I'm allergic to scary, remember?

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
That new one with Matt Damon... don't watch it, it was super bad.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Purple with grey and black stripes.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs

36. Car or truck ? Truck. I'm a redneck, what can I say?

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? possibly my step-mother, but not sure.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? jeff.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Mammoth Hunters by Jean Auel, and the never ending business law text from my online course.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don't have one.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Dexter! Who wouldn't want to watch a show about a vigilante, damaged serial killer?

42. FAVORITE SOUND? rain on the roof. And thunder.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? God. Rolling stones I guess. I don't see any country in this selection.

44. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TO NEXT?
Anywhere that isn't work related.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Does saying the alphabet backwards count?

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN Hamilton Ontario


47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I'll be shocked if anyone answers back. Who has time for this crap?

That's all I have to say about that.

You Stink.

After chuckling over the adventures of Madame DeFarge over at Bateau De Banane, I was inspired to put my two cents in ( me, with an opinion? Shocker.), regarding our tendancy to... over-scentsitize ourselves. Is that a word ---->Scentsitize? Well, it should be.

I'm often told how lucky I am to have lovely pale skin, blue eyes, and blond hair. What no one realizes, is that with these characteristics comes incredibly sensitive skin, eyes, and nose.... all of these things are irritated by the general populations tendency to bathe in scents.

Well it may be a drag for some, I'm totally loving the fact that public places seem to be implementing fragrance-free policies these days. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with light, pleasant scents, and I happen to be a big fan of body spray myself. However, I will never understand why certain folks think it's attractive to drown their co-workers in eye-watering perfume and cologne.

Also, at this time, I would like to point out that I've noticed the majority of these over-scented offenders are not women, but men. Apparently they think it adds to their sex appeal. I'm hear to tell you that if you're 6 feet away from you and I can smell you, it's not a good thing, regardless of the scent. What are you trying to hide with all that smell? Did you pull your shirt from the bottom of the dirty laundry pile and think that your plastered-on man perfume would cover the stench? Well, it doesn't. Now you smell like dirty laundry AND cheap cologne. Good Job.

On one of my first dates with Hubby, we went to a comedy show. I was dressed to impress, with lovely make-up and the whole nine yards. Sitting at the table next to us was a lovely woman wearing what must have been an entire bottle of some heavy, musk-scented, eau-du-stink. My eyes were watering so badly that tears were pouring down my face and the contents of my nose were dribbling down my chin. How lovely. I was completely sure my date was ready to bolt for the door at any second. Who wouldn't want to continue dating a girl with a dripping face for no apparent reason? He probably thought I was a psychotic, high-maintenance crazy person with loads of emotional baggage and needing therapy. Just the kind of first impression everyone wants to make. Just because it's true doesn't mean I was ready to let him know so soon. I was saving that for date #3. I apologized and wiped the running mascara from my face and tried to control my dripping face. Thank-fully hubby turned out to be one of those understanding men and was kind enough to over-look my facial impression of Alice Cooper.

So please. Try to control yourself. Moderation is the key! Don't bathe in it, it just makes you stink.

Top 10 Things to do with Nine Dollars and Thirty-Two Cents

After paying the bills, the never ending cycle of credit card debt, and paying for gas, this is my total disposable income for the week.

Top 10 Things To Do With $9.32

10. Invest in an RRSP. My retirement calculator says if I invest today, in 40 years I will have $93.78. I can retire for a whole day!

9. Buy a new pair of socks. Everyone loves socks.

8. Give in to temptation and try out the new cake and shake milkshake from Tim Hortons (stone cold creamery.. now you can buy coffee AND ice cream at Timmies... isn't Canada lovely?). It's reported to be the highest calorie milkshake ever (1680 calories and 88 grams of fat... which works out to be 135% of the daily recommended value. But who needs statistics anyway? Certainly not my butt or upper thighs.... which is where the ice cream will end up).

7. Put it on the credit card and save $.08 in interest this month. Then I will have $9.40 cents of disposable income next week!

6. Buy a lottery ticket and hope I win enough to complete the magical list of things I'd do if I was a millionaire found here.

5. Borrow $0.68 cents from hubby and buy a new Wii game from Wii Share.

4. Buy the new lipstick that I've been eyeing for months and will probably never wear.

3. Send it to United Way. They can put it with the rest of their money and maybe buy a pencil or some staples.

2. Put it away for that trip to Australia that will probably never happen.

1. Change it in to pennies so that it looks like I have lots of money, throw it up in the air and dance around shouting, "I'm rich, I'm rich". Which is the cheapest form of entertainment I can think of.

Flashing Hot at 29

Well. 28 and 11 months really. But who's counting.

I thought hot flashes were not supposed to start until menopause? It's October. It's freezing outside, and here I am dreaming of ice cream and for the love of GOD someone get me a cold cloth for the back of my neck!

We got our new company sweaters at work last week. Being a generally bad housekeeper, I haven't done my laundry, so today looked like a good day to try out the sweater. This is the part where I tell you it's a very pretty shade of blue, and made from Arctic Fleece. It fits just perfect, but is not so large that one could wear multiple layers underneath... so I of course, did not. Hold Please... the sweat is dripping in my eyes... there. That's better. Anyway, I'm wearing my new sweater, in a lovely shade of blue, at work today. I suppose it's a moderate sort of temperature. No one else seems to be swealtering, but I feel as though someone has wrapped me in a heating blanket and left me for dead. I imagine this is what a potatoe feels like when you wrap it in tin-foil and place it on the barbeque. Only without the pleasant cooking smell.

My co-worker suggested I take the sweater off, to which I blushed... or I would have blushed if I had not already been red-faced from extreme blood-pressure brought on by a spiking body temperature. While sitting in my office naked is a pleasant thought for my internal equilibrium, I'm sure there must be SOMETHING in the harrassment policy which forbids such a thing. The dress code for sure.

Currently I have my face pressed against the cool wood of my desk for a small measure of releif. It feels nice but is making typing difficult. I end up retyping the same sentences over and over as most come out looking like this ---> I ejd up typng het same sentnces ver andover as mos t come out lookkking like ths. It's very hard to type whilst your face is pressed against a desk. I wonder if there's a record for that. Perhaps I could become famous! But I digress.

It's five-oh-eight. Going home to burn the sweater and do something that makes me feel young.

Happy Wednesday.

Pop Music Sellout.

I've always stood by my taste in music, protesting that I would never be a sellout. For most of my life I've been a country music fan, with some good old Southern and classic rock thrown in. Also the first two Albums by Jewel were some of my favourites. When Jewel starting recording pop music I cringed, conviced that she was abandoning her accousic-folk genre for the huge market that surrounds popular music.

Often ridiculed by my music choices, I stood by my favourite artists like glue, telling myself I was being a leader instead of a follower of popular choices. I was unique.

Recently, I've had a change of heart. Bored with the same old tunes, I set out on a search for something new, and ended up changing my pre-programed radio stations to, you guessed it, popular music. Currently I'm listening to a variety of dance music. Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis. Artists like Ke$ha and Lady Gaga are now making their way onto my IPod somehow. Today I actually caught myself singing along to If I Had You, by Adam Lambert. Crazy.

So now I'm a sellout. I still refuse to listen to rap. I have no idea why that's classified as music. So now I have to apologize to all the people I've ever made fun of... I'll get around to it... eventually.

To the victors, the spoils.

In some banter back and forth with one of our fellow bloggers, Silver Fox, a discussion opened up about Canadian and American History... and the .. er... discrepancies that exist depending on which country is telling the story. This inspired this post.

So. Once upon a time in 1812, there was a war between the British colonies of Upper and Lower Canada (we weren't just plain Canada back then... we were still part of the British Empire). The war started for various reasons... If your an American it started because the British drafted some of your merchants into the British Royal Navy, and bruised your dignity by assisting the native peoples against American expansion into their territory. If your a Canadian, it started because the Americans invaded, swept up our towns people into the militia, and took away Native rights and land. Blah Blah Blah.

The Americans were winning, in the beginning. They took all of Lake Erie and the shores, and much of what is now Western Ontario. However, after the British finished kicking the snot out of Napoleon, they sent huge naval armies and took the battle as far as New York and New Orleans. Both sides invaded, lost ground, and went home with nothing. The territories that were temporarily held were given back by the magical treaty of Ghent and life went on.

That being said, I find it interesting that Canadians think that the war of 1812 was a British victory, but if you check the American history books, it was an American victory.

Here's what Wiki had to say:

Canadian
In British North America (which formed the Dominion of Canada in 1867), the War of 1812 was seen by Loyalists as a victory, as they had successfully defended their borders from an American takeover. The outcome gave Empire-oriented Canadians confidence and, together with the postwar "militia myth" that the civilian militia had been primarily responsible rather than the British regulars, was used to stimulate a new sense of Canadian nationalism.[106]

A long-term implication of the militia myth—which was false, but remained popular in the Canadian public at least until World War I—was that Canada did not need a regular professional army.[107] The U.S. Army had done poorly, on the whole, in several attempts to invade Canada, and the Canadians had shown that they would fight bravely to defend their country. But the British did not doubt that the thinly populated territory would be vulnerable in a third war. "We cannot keep Canada if the Americans declare war against us again," Admiral Sir David Milne wrote to a correspondent in 1817.[108]

By the 21st century it was a forgotten war in the U.S., Britain and Quebec, although still remembered in the rest of Canada, especially Ontario. In a 2009 poll, 37% of Canadians said the war was a Canadian victory, 9% said the U.S. won, 15% called it a draw, and 39%—mainly younger Canadians—said they knew too little to comment.[109]

American
Today, American popular memory includes the British capture and destruction of the U.S. Presidential Mansion in August 1814, which necessitated its extensive renovation. Another memory is the successful American defence of Fort McHenry in September 1814, which inspired the lyrics of the U.S. national anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner.[110] The successful Captains of the U.S. Navy became popular heroes with plates with the likeness of Decatur, Steward, Hull, and others, becoming popular items, ironically many of them were made in England. The Navy became a cherished institution beloved for the victories that it gave against all odds.

To my American friends, I'm going to say it was a draw. We freed a bunch of your slaves and settled them in Eastern Canada (although England ended up compensating Washington for them later... apparently your slave owners were angry at the loss of their "property". You went back to your country, we stayed in ours, and later kicked the British out (If the queen is watching, you know you really have no power right? We still respect you and your office, but we're not British, we're Canadian... although... thanks for giving us a paid holiday on your birthday, that's really terrific of you).

So we still have no army... and I think we own 1 submarine that still floats... although it was built 5 decades ago. And we're still us. I'm not sure what would happen should you try to invade again... perhaps we'll ride our dog sleds into battle. Or cows... we have lots of those eh?

It's been 200 years and we're still here. Some would think it's a miracle, with a giant military based society on our doorsteps. I think they just keep us here for our bacon. You may think they would invade just to steal our hockey team so they could stop losing at the Olympics, but perhaps they like the challenge.

note: I'm not a history major. Just going by what I learned in school... and that was a long... loooong time ago. If you have a comment about the facts (or lack there-of) in this post, please enlighten us. My main goal is entertainment, if you laughed even once, then my mission is complete. Americans, I love you, even if you are crazy and make war just for the sake of making war.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

This is by FAR my favourite holiday of the year. Why, you ask? (And even if you didn't) Because it is the only holiday where there is no other expectations other than to eat. And possibly do the dishes if you're not the cook (definitely NOT me). Christmas has the presents, easter the religion... wait, that's a Christmas thing too isn't it? Halloween has the costumes and the candy and the running around. Not on Thanksgiving. Your only obligation is to eat the ton of food that your family seems to concoct out of nowhere, and drink fine wine (well, except in my family... my mum prefers the bubbly kind with all the sugar.. I call it soda pop wine).

Turkey should come with a gym membership and bottle of rollaids. It really is low-fat, and good for you, just not in the quantities consumed on any given holiday. This year I managed to get prime rib twice, and no turkey. We are heading to hubbys parents for thanksgiving #3, so perhaps I'll see some turkey there. I really have a craving for stuffing, and no one can ever have too much pie. I could also use some cranberry sauce. What about you, are you a gravy person, or a cranberry person? There is much to say about both. I personally recommend making a turkey and cranberry sandwich. It really doesn't get much better than that.

So I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving, where-ever you are. To my friends in the US, why IS your thanksgiving in November anyway? Too close to Christmas for me. You hardly have time to recover and lose the 3lbs of pie you ate! You should really consider moving it. Plus, I wouldn't get stuck working on MY thanksgiving to accomodate you. It really is very inconvenient. Take care of that would you? You must have some sort of commitee for that sort of thing.

Happy Turkey Day.

My new found love for Italian Meat.

Did I ever mention that hubby is of Italian decent? This has opened me to all kinds of new experiences... Italian food and cooking... people with outdoor foyers on their houses (kind of hard to explain really... it's like a sitting room, right outside your front door... kind of useless actually), and women with facial hair. Ok, that last part isn't true, but I've heard stories.

Today we're going to talk about the meat. I was never a fan. I mean... meat that is stuffed in an intestine and hung in a dark cellar for months at a time? Sounds scary.

Hubby's parents always have this plate of meat that's freshly sliced and available for snacking. It has a variety of salami's and pepperoni. At first I shied away from the mystery meat. I had never eaten it as a child... most of our diet revolved around living in good old farm country where folk eat meat and potatoes and not much else.

However, one day while watching hubby's obvious enjoyment, I decided to be brave and try some Salami. It was the hottest thing I had ever eaten. WOW was it hot... but not right away. Before the tears there was a lovely smokey taste that was heaven in my mouth. After that it was hard to stop eating it.

I have since learned that each different Salami comes from a different area of Italy, like red wine in France. They're all lovely really, although I would have to say my favourite is Genoa. YUM.

So interested was I in this new love of mine, that I decided to get some information on what exactly was in it to make it soooo delicious. This may, or may not have been a mistake depending on your point of view...

Salami may be made out of one or more of the following meats...

• pork
• venison
• beef
• poultry
• HORSE

Horse? Really? Do people eat horse meat?

It is at this point in my research where I recognized, yet again, how woefully ignorant I am about cultures outside the world of North America (or inside it for that matter).

The main ingredients that go with the meat are

• Salt
• Spices
• Minced Fat (MINCED FAT? How appetizing does THAT sound?)
• Wine (It IS Italy after all)
• vinegar
• other various herbs depending on the region.

The word Salami actually means "salted meat". Easy enough. That's why it tastes so good... and why it causes high blood pressure. My general rule of thumb is: If it tastes good, it's usually bad for you.

In short... this sketchy, mystery meat is quite delicious but should not become a lifestyle if you value your figure... it runs around 90 calories per slice (and thin slices at that) and most of those are from fat. Yummy, but deadly.

Edit: I just realized that my title kinda sounds like the description on a porn video... but in the interests of entertainment, I decided not to change it.

Top Ten Things Women REALLY want from men

Top Ten Things Women REALLY want from men:

note: This is my opinion only. It certainly does not apply to ALL women, maybe not even most, and was meant to be a bit of fun.

10. TIME ALONE EVERY DAY. Yes, we love you. Yes, we want to talk to you. Yes, we want to spend time with you. We just need a small piece of time where no one needs ANYTHING and we can just chill.

9. FOR YOU TO HELP WITH THE HOUSEWORK WITHOUT HAVING TO BE ASKED. Just do it. It will save an argument later, and it might even get you a nice dinner or some kinky sex.

8. FLOWERS - yes, they die.. and we are ok with that. The point is that you thought about us during the day and wanted to do something to please us. It doesn't even have to be flowers... the best surprise I ever got was a pez dispenser shaped after my favourite cartoon character - because that means you listened and learned the things that I like and went to the trouble to show me.

7. A HUG - this is important. Women are nesters and affectionate creatures. We need reassurance that you love us.

6. THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT - sometimes we like to be mysterious. Not because we are doing anything wrong, but just because predictability is scary. If we say we're going out to do some shopping, don't give us the third degree about where we are going and what time we'll be home etc. etc. It feels kinda like an interrogation sometimes. This probably makes no sense, but trust me, if you examine your wife's comings and goings with a microscope you're asking for trouble. Just trust. And if your curiosity is driving you insane, ask, but don't dig unless you have a reason to. Conversations where you dig too much usually end up with, "I WAS BUYING YOUR XMAS PRESENT OK? " Which of course is very frustrating for everyone. And don't ask how much your wife spent at Xmas, that's just rude.

5. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF - this is a two-income-household world my friend. Your wife is just as tired as you are. So pick up your socks, pop cans, beer cans. No, it's not hurting anything on the counter but us girls take pride in a clean house. Just think to yourself.. what would my mother do if I left my pants hanging on the banister? She'd kill you, that's what. So pick them up.

4. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT - did you notice that your wife painstakingly folded your underwear or made all your favourites for dinner this week? Then tell her. Don't be a caveman.

3. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE - not because it's a "mans" job, but just because it's icky, and we don't like doing it. If we have to clean the toilet, the least you could do is take out the trash.

2. THE REMOTE CONTROL - share. You can do it.

1. GET YOUR FEET OFF THE COFFEE TABLE! No explanation required.

It's not paranoia if people really ARE out to get you.

Have you ever been in that position where you think there's a big giant joke involving you and you're the only one who doesn't know about it? No? I had one of those moments today, where I walked into a room full of people and everyone stopped talking. You could hear a pin drop.

Maybe it's because I'm so gorgeous they had to stop and stare, but somehow I don't think so.... (this affirmation comes mostly from the fact that I'm wearing baggy jeans and no make-up).

Maybe it was just one of those natural pauses in conversation that happen when everyone has run out of things to say.

Maybe they had the feeling that the exclamation that was about to come out of my mouth was soooo profound, that they all had to stop and hold their collective breath while I spoke.

So now I'm on a mission to find out exactly what the joke is... and how I can be a part of it. Perhaps there is some giant practical joke going on that I'm not participating in.

Or maybe I'm paranoid and I should drink less coffee.

The Power Of Nature

The summer sky, taken after the last storm

Don't get me wrong. I love a good storm. The lightning, big peals of thunder, the sense that there is something out there that's still bigger than we will ever be. However, sometimes there can be too much of a good thing.

I'm writing this because I've just returned in from outside, where the beautiful August afternoon is trying desperately to shine while purple storm clouds await on the horizon. The looming, glooming kind of purple storm clouds.

Afternoon storms have become an event around here. Several power outages at work have caused major problems. I sit here praying to mother nature to pleassseeee hold off just a few more hours so production can finish.

It's not going to storm, it's not going to storm, it's not going to storm. Come on, say it with me!

My chinese fortune cookie said that if I was nice to people, good things will happen to me. I'm going to go now and run around the office to tell everyone how fabulous they are. Do you think that's enough? How nice is nice? Maybe if I get everyone coffee the rain will hold off until I go home.

Proving once again, that coffee is the answer to everything.

Update: No Storm! Horray!

The top ten reasons why I appreciate my job.

This is an exercise in job appreciation. Because I really don't appreciate what I have as much as I should (does anyone?). Mostly I run around bitching about my job because it can be stressful sometimes. However, anything worth doing is stressful....



Top 10 Reasons Why I Appreciate My Job.


10. I learn new things everyday. This keeps my brain stimulated. I'd probably be drooling in a corner without that.


9. Occasionally I get to solve really big problems that make a difference.


8. Tim Hortons is right around the corner so I have a 24 hr coffee supply.


7. My office has air conditioning (if you knew how hot it was inside of the plant you'd understand why this is on the list. I used to work out there... not nice. Heat makes me cranky).


6. It comes with a paycheck. Fancy that!


5. I need some amount of stress to function... LOTS of that here! Functioning really well.


4. I get to boss people around. Mucho satisfaction.


3. Occasionally people realize that I know what I'm doing and the thrill of watching them look sheepish never gets old.


2. It forces me to get out of my pajamas everyday. Ok. I don't even know why that's on the list. I HATE getting out of PJ's.


1. The people I work with. Who also feel unappreciated. They have become my surrogate family... even though I'd like to run over them with my truck occasionally, it all works out in the end.




This is one of my coworkers. She makes my job easier on a regular basis and I think I would have probably quit if she wasn't here. I have no idea why she wouldn't let me take her photo (hence the blurriness... ok, so I suck as a photographer... thank god I don't do THAT for a living). I'm going to post this and send it to her as a message that she should LET people take nice photo's when the opportunity presents itself. Now the entire blogging community is going to think she has a blurry face.

Kitty Kat Woes

This is Samantha

She has started to use the entire house as a litter box. I am trying to get my house ready for sale... eau du kitty-kat does not smell very attractive to perspective buyers. What do I do? Hubby is pushing to give her up for adoption. It would break my heart. No one I know wants her. I want her, but I can't have little messes all over the house! I don't know what happened. She's never been like this before. I have no way to make her understand how important it is that she NOT pee on the carpet. If only she knew that peeing on the carpet would result in a trip to the humane society, where they will stuff her in a small cage in a room with strays and other sick animals for adoption. And if she doesn't get adopted within 3 weeks, a nice volunteer lady will take her into the back room where they will inject her with a lethal dose of something that stops her little heart. AHHHH. I can't take it. My eyes are watering just thinking about it. How cruel does that sound? I don't know what to do.

The Great White Fishermen.

Hubby took The Boy fishing today.
Well, at least they caught SOMETHING. I think it's a very nice stick.

Bigger Fish To Fry

Hubby sent me this article the other day. It made me laugh so I though I would share. It was in the online news at Yahoo.com.


Tue Jul 27, 10:01 AM


By The Canadian Press


CHATHAM, Ont. - Police in Chatham, Ont., have charged a woman with assault after her boyfriend was punched twice — the first time in an alleged dispute over a sandwich.


Investigators say a man made his girlfriend a sandwich Monday evening and when she only ate half, she said he could have the other half.


A short time later, police say the woman became infuriated that the sandwich was missing and punched her boyfriend in the face.


Police say later in the night the two became involved in an unrelated argument and she punched him in the chest.


A 27-year-old Chatham woman has been charged with two counts of assault.


She has been held in custody pending a bail hearing.

Articles like this really put life into perspective. I don't know whether to laugh, or cry at the ridiculousness of the human race. Must be a thin gene pool.

Greener Pastures

I'm 28 years old. I'm an adult. I have my own house, a car, and furniture I can jump on whenever I want. I have a grown-up job, bills, and financial responsibilities. And I'm homesick.

I miss my family. I miss my mom. I miss sitting on a tailgate with a beer and chit-chatting because I had absolutely nothing better to do. What's better than beer? I miss bonfires. You can't have those in the city. At least not the kind that I'm used too. Once we made one taller than the house. I miss burnt marshmallows. Sure, I could go camping like other city people do, but believe me - it's just not the same.

I miss having roots. I've been here for what feels like an eternity, and I have no roots. If I moved tomorrow I would not miss this place. Some of the people maybe, but I have yet to become attached to the way of life. I feel disconnected in a way I never thought possible.

Hubby does not understand my love for where I grew up. He thinks it's very quaint, like when you see a photo you like in a magazine and say, "huh, that's nice". He has similar home attachments to Welland, where he grew up. I love it there also, but it is not home. They say home is where the heart is... trust me, I have tried to relocate the feeling, but my heart is stubborn like everything else in me. I believe that comes from the Youmans side of the family.

Someone said to me a while back, "Good for you for getting out of there!" I looked at them strangely and said, "if I could go back tomorrow I would". Who wouldn't? Quiet, beautiful, lakes and rivers to swim in... ever wonder why everyone moves to cottage country to retire? Why they spend their entire lives saving to move to paradise and then show up North of 7? Because when you live HERE... THERE is the other side of the fence. You know, the greener side.

I'm in a major transition point in my life. On the edge of getting almost everything I've ever wanted. Isn't it funny that just at the time when I'm going to reach all of my goals in life I question it? I must be crazy. This is proof that you always want what you can't have, no matter how much you have to be grateful for. And I AM grateful. Grateful and homesick. I'm going to find a tailgate and a beer. Wanna play caps?

Cheers.

The Top Ten Obvious Signs That I Need Glasses

10. I was incredibly depressed because I hit a cat on the way to work the other day. I discovered on the way home that it was not a cat at all, but a possum. Not that the possum deserves to get run over any more than a cat... but... well... cats ARE cuter and possums are pests.

9. Grass looks more like carpet as I can no longer distinguish the individual blades without concentrated effort.

8. I have to rely on the voice module on my GPS because I can no longer read road signs.

7. I am incredibly grateful for the invention of high definition television as it means I can actually see the hockey puck on the screen. Televised sports is much more enjoyable now.

6. My 300 year old accounting teacher has better eyesight than I do.

5. My fellow students think I am sooooo smart I don't have to take notes and thus can use the spare time to practice on my sketching. Thank-God they can't see my test scores.

4. My co-workers no longer park beside me. It is very easy to find my car in the lot... it's the one surrounded by all of the empty space.

3. I don't pass in my vehicle anymore because I am no longer confident on my ability to judge long term distances... cars that are far away are a little fuzzy.

2. The blinding stabbing pain that sometimes forms behind my right eye is getting really distracting. Presumably it's eye strain as I have perfect vision in my left and need a magnifying glass over my right. Perhaps I'll just tape my right eye shut and everything will be brilliant.

1. I drove past a man on a bicycle who gave me the finger as I passed him, safely I might add. Outraged, and just in the sort of mood to tell someone off, I pulled over and gave him a piece of my mind... at which point he calmly explained to me that he had been merely waving thanks in return for the generous amount of space I'd given him as I flew by his madly peddling person. Ooops.

I made an appointment at the eye doctor tomorrow. I realize you are all afraid to drive on the road now. Be at ease. When I close one eye, I drive just fine!

The Daily Shout-Out

This is temporarily/ permanently on hold for very good literary reasons.... in short - I'm bored with it and have decided that it's not a good use of my very limited blogging time. When I first decided it wasn't working out I had a tinge of guilt - coupled with that little voice inside of my head that says.... "you never finish what you start". Which is occasionally true. Although, to my defense, I started breathing quite a long time ago and have been at it ever since. That's dedication.

The guilt started to recede when I realized that this is my blog and I can do whatever I want! So there! (You can't see, but I'm sticking my tongue out right now). As I have the sneaking suspicion that the only one who read them was Brink Beast (that kills me, it really does... you know what my teacher called me? She-of-little-attention-span), what was I saying - OH MY GOD, look over there! Is that a cat? No? Shame.

As I was saying, I don't think they'll be missed. Perhaps I will randomly post about randomly found blogs in the future. In the mean time - it's back to regular random happenings and my horrible photography skills. Thanks for participating in my experiment. It was a good time.

The Daily Shout-Out

Ooooh, a puzzle blog. Addictive, I swear. Go visit Critical Thinking Puzzles for puzzles and more! Excersize your brain... er.. excersise... exser... do you think there's a spelling blog out there somewhere?

Cat in Crisis!

Excuse the photo. Felix was not being very cooperative and I find it impossible to get a shot of him with no red eye.

Anywhoo. Hubby called me at work the other day with a rather upsetting story. Our curiously-crazy, fantastically-stupid cat Felix had gotten himself into a near death situation all by his lonesome while we were at work.

Hubby likes to eat crackers. Hubby left the cracker bag beside the couch on the end table. It was very empty, with the exception of a few choice crumbs reeking of garlic and spice. Only one side of the bag was open in a conveniently cat head-shaped hole. Our darling Felix somehow managed to cram his fat head into the opening and get it stuck inside.

I should mention at this point that the bag was plastic, but not see-through.

Somehow, in a panic, Felix managed to get all the way upstairs and finally collapsed in the hallway. This is how hubby found him when he got home from work some hours later. The bag was filled with condensation from the poor fat-heads panicky breaths, and some small amount of vomit, presumably from eating garlicky crackers - which were not intended for consumption by those of the feline persuasion. Fat-head Felix had been trapped in a bag with his own stomach contents for most of the day - judging by the amount of spit and the state of his fur. My heart almost stopped when I saw the tiny opening in the bag. How did he survive that? How did enough oxygen get in around his fat head? Maybe he used up one or two of his nine-lives.

Fat-head seems to have come through this much better than I have. He is now clean and content. All manner of items that are cat head-shaped have been removed or trashed. Wonder if he will retain a memory of this incident the next time he risks his life for cracker crumbs?