Saturday, February 21, 2009

Now I wish upon a star...

OMG the lottery is estimated at 49 MILLION dollars. I'm buying a ticket. No one has won for ages now. But what to do with my millions?
  • Buy a ranch.
  • Buy horses for the ranch.
  • Buy someone to teach me how to take care of that many horses... I'm only used to one at a time..
  • Get more cats to eat the mice in the barn
  • Buy a dog to chase the cats and to play with my horses... Finally I can have my Irish Wolfhounds and Great Danes... sigh.
  • Buy a new farm truck. I'm thinking a Ford F1 Superduty. Whoa. That gave me chills.
  • Build an adoption center for stray pets and hire a vet to do my bidding. Oh to have a clean place to take care of sick animals and offer adoption where pets are not crammed into those little tiny cages, waiting on death row.
  • Buy a politician to pass a law that allows me to execute negligent and abusive pet owners. I will sink to bribery, I am that evil.
  • Ask Christian Childrens Fund how much money they need to stop putting those advertisements on tv that make me cry. Then give them the money.
  • Put some away for savings... after all, I think I've spent about 40 million already and even millionairesses need SOME income.
  • Have George W Bush assasinated... or maybe just put in Guantanamo Bay and let the inmates torture him.
  • Buy everyone I work with free coffee for the next 20 years.... or until they retire... whichever comes first.
  • Buy my mom a house and a full time maid. And a doctor that will actually HELP her.
  • Buy my cats solid gold collars... ok, no. But that would be super cute.
  • Buy my own Tim Hortons and put it in the garage. I'll ride my horse there everyday to get a coffee! Ok... several times a day then.
  • Find that kid I used to stuff in lockers and give him $100 G's just for all the crap I put him through... and maybe stuff him in a locker once more for old times sake.
  • Send Carolina on vacation whilst the contracters are fixing her bathroom, cause who wants to live through that crap?
  • Buy a plane so I can fly to Thunder Bay whenever I want. I'll build a runway on my ranch.
  • Buy a new pancreas for Patrick Swayze... wait.. he can buy his own. He has more money than god and his own damn ranch.
  • I'm pretty sure killing George Bush and giving him to the middle east will bring world peace, so no need to ask for that.

I think I'm probably out of money. Anything I have left will go to cancer research. I hope I win.


Carolina said...

YOU ARE THE SWEETEST and I hope you win too!!!!!! I'm keeping everything crossed. Oh, and we can come and live with you. We'll bring our horses, dogs, cats, chickens and two sweet pigs (and I mean 'sweet' as in 'lovely'). We don't need that vacation then. Saves you lots of money to give to whatever charity you want to give it too. You lovely, lovely girl!!!!!

Carolina said...

Oh, and if you actually win (wouldn't that be weird but great!) we would politely decline your kind offer and we would not burden you with our lovely selves and even lovelier pets of course. You thought of far more important and usefull things to do with all that money. SOME GREAT IDEAS you have!


Carolina said...

please ignore all the spelling mistakes, it's late..;-)

Jewels said...

LOL. Ok, we'll talk after I win!!

Poopsie aka Blue said...

Great wish list - have my fingers crossed for you.
But my Canadian family & friends will be hoping to win too.


Jewels said...

Well. I'm not a millionaire. Shame. It was going to be really fun!

Emily said...

Such good wishes! Here's hoping that someday, somehow you get your millions! -e

Jewels said...

Thanks Emily! You too!

Jerry Kazdoy said...

If you win, please consider a small donation to chicken research. You can make the check out to me. Remember, they have no voice.

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