Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Top Ten Obvious Signs That I Need Glasses

10. I was incredibly depressed because I hit a cat on the way to work the other day. I discovered on the way home that it was not a cat at all, but a possum. Not that the possum deserves to get run over any more than a cat... but... well... cats ARE cuter and possums are pests.

9. Grass looks more like carpet as I can no longer distinguish the individual blades without concentrated effort.

8. I have to rely on the voice module on my GPS because I can no longer read road signs.

7. I am incredibly grateful for the invention of high definition television as it means I can actually see the hockey puck on the screen. Televised sports is much more enjoyable now.

6. My 300 year old accounting teacher has better eyesight than I do.

5. My fellow students think I am sooooo smart I don't have to take notes and thus can use the spare time to practice on my sketching. Thank-God they can't see my test scores.

4. My co-workers no longer park beside me. It is very easy to find my car in the lot... it's the one surrounded by all of the empty space.

3. I don't pass in my vehicle anymore because I am no longer confident on my ability to judge long term distances... cars that are far away are a little fuzzy.

2. The blinding stabbing pain that sometimes forms behind my right eye is getting really distracting. Presumably it's eye strain as I have perfect vision in my left and need a magnifying glass over my right. Perhaps I'll just tape my right eye shut and everything will be brilliant.

1. I drove past a man on a bicycle who gave me the finger as I passed him, safely I might add. Outraged, and just in the sort of mood to tell someone off, I pulled over and gave him a piece of my mind... at which point he calmly explained to me that he had been merely waving thanks in return for the generous amount of space I'd given him as I flew by his madly peddling person. Ooops.

I made an appointment at the eye doctor tomorrow. I realize you are all afraid to drive on the road now. Be at ease. When I close one eye, I drive just fine!

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Daily Shout-Out

This is temporarily/ permanently on hold for very good literary reasons.... in short - I'm bored with it and have decided that it's not a good use of my very limited blogging time. When I first decided it wasn't working out I had a tinge of guilt - coupled with that little voice inside of my head that says.... "you never finish what you start". Which is occasionally true. Although, to my defense, I started breathing quite a long time ago and have been at it ever since. That's dedication.

The guilt started to recede when I realized that this is my blog and I can do whatever I want! So there! (You can't see, but I'm sticking my tongue out right now). As I have the sneaking suspicion that the only one who read them was Brink Beast (that kills me, it really does... you know what my teacher called me? She-of-little-attention-span), what was I saying - OH MY GOD, look over there! Is that a cat? No? Shame.

As I was saying, I don't think they'll be missed. Perhaps I will randomly post about randomly found blogs in the future. In the mean time - it's back to regular random happenings and my horrible photography skills. Thanks for participating in my experiment. It was a good time.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

The Daily Shout-Out

Ooooh, a puzzle blog. Addictive, I swear. Go visit Critical Thinking Puzzles for puzzles and more! Excersize your brain... er.. excersise... exser... do you think there's a spelling blog out there somewhere?

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Cat in Crisis!

Excuse the photo. Felix was not being very cooperative and I find it impossible to get a shot of him with no red eye.

Anywhoo. Hubby called me at work the other day with a rather upsetting story. Our curiously-crazy, fantastically-stupid cat Felix had gotten himself into a near death situation all by his lonesome while we were at work.

Hubby likes to eat crackers. Hubby left the cracker bag beside the couch on the end table. It was very empty, with the exception of a few choice crumbs reeking of garlic and spice. Only one side of the bag was open in a conveniently cat head-shaped hole. Our darling Felix somehow managed to cram his fat head into the opening and get it stuck inside.

I should mention at this point that the bag was plastic, but not see-through.

Somehow, in a panic, Felix managed to get all the way upstairs and finally collapsed in the hallway. This is how hubby found him when he got home from work some hours later. The bag was filled with condensation from the poor fat-heads panicky breaths, and some small amount of vomit, presumably from eating garlicky crackers - which were not intended for consumption by those of the feline persuasion. Fat-head Felix had been trapped in a bag with his own stomach contents for most of the day - judging by the amount of spit and the state of his fur. My heart almost stopped when I saw the tiny opening in the bag. How did he survive that? How did enough oxygen get in around his fat head? Maybe he used up one or two of his nine-lives.
Fat-head seems to have come through this much better than I have. He is now clean and content. All manner of items that are cat head-shaped have been removed or trashed. Wonder if he will retain a memory of this incident the next time he risks his life for cracker crumbs?

The Daily Shout-Out

Today's winner is a meme that I think I might play along with (what is the definition for the word meme anyway? Bloggers seem to have developed their own language... but I digress). The blog is Should Be Reading. Here's what the author has to say about the meme:

I think I will play along. What can I say, I love books.

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