Thursday, May 13, 2010

Birds are scary.

In the lovely temperate zones of Florida there is an abundance of waterfowl attracted there by rich seas, and MacDonald's-eating tourists. I love wildlife, and I always thought I loved birds. Recently, I've discovered that my love of avian life forms is restricted to those that are small, cute and vocally brilliant. Upon landing at home base in Indian Shores, I discovered that I have a fear of birds. I was already aware of my fear of very large bird-like creatures (ostriches.... they have those creepy beady eyes that look at you like you're a giant bug they are about to snap up). Now I know that this fear is not limited by size... although size does tend to intensify the feeling that my eyes are about to be pecked out and eaten for breakfast.
Whilst in Florida we went to a lovely bird sanctuary. These birds were all trapped by man-made idiocy and needed help to free themselves. Many required medical treatment and some can no longer fly or take care of themselves. Awwww. They are scary, but even scary birds need love. I think the white ones with the razor sharp eye-poking beaks are called spoonbills... but I'm not sure.
This crane was actually coming to get me. I took the picture, then screamed and ran away.

Hubby is not afraid of the birds, but step-son is TERRIFIED - whilst trying to look manly and unafraid. He chose to throw the bread far, far away from the darting, vicious birdies.


No... this is not red-eye caused from the camera... this is natural red eye. Why does this bird have red eyes? I'm going with creepy defense mechanism to terrify predators from eating it.




The sheer quantity of birds here is ridiculous. There was nowhere to run and hide. The entire sanctuary was heading our way to take part in the feeding frenzy caused by the tossing of bread crumbs. Shorty after this I cowered in the car.




This is really a vulture. He is waiting for the other birds to peck out my eyes so he can have the rest.




This bird I actually thought was very pretty. Until I got up close and saw the red beady eyes. Pretty turned to creepy. The longer it stared at me, the more uneasy I became until the point where I decided that only crazy people visit bird sanctuaries and I - being NOT crazy - should vacate the premises immediately.



A grey pelican. The most numerous of the Floridian birds we saw.


These pelicans kept trying to steal step-sons bait whilst he was fishing. Then when he caught a little fish, tried to steal it while he was reeling it in. Have you ever seen a pelican with it's beak wide open? It could swallow a little boy whole. Powerful beaks made me keep a wary distance. They are not shy either - and they are not afraid of curious tourists.
While they made interesting photo subjects, I was very happy to get back to the resort and away from all the non-blinking eyes. whoaaaa. I still get shivers. If you notice, most of the shots are blurry, and to the untrained eye, this may seem as though I am a horrid photographer, but to us professionals it is easy to see that they are action shots. The blurriness is for effect. It allows you to really FEEL how fast I was running and screaming.







5 comments:

Suldog said...

Vultures are the creepiest of the lot. MY WIFE and I like to visit a wildlife sanctuary in New Hampshire - all animals that, in one way or another, cannot defend themselves well enough in the wild - and they have a bird section. The most disgusting thing in the ENTIRE WORLD is a turkey vulture. It craps all over its own legs and keeps it there; some sort of mechanism to attract bugs or drive away bugs or something like that. Absolutely puke inducing.

Jewels said...

Sooo glad I'm not a turkey vulture.

Carolina said...

Why did I miss this post?
It's hilarious.
You, my dear, should never, NEVER EVER, watch 'The Birds' by Hitchcock. Promise me that.

I think your photos have that certain 'je ne sais quoi' that makes the birds look even eerier.
Good job!

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