Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My new found love for Italian Meat.

Did I ever mention that hubby is of Italian decent? This has opened me to all kinds of new experiences... Italian food and cooking... people with outdoor foyers on their houses (kind of hard to explain really... it's like a sitting room, right outside your front door... kind of useless actually), and women with facial hair. Ok, that last part isn't true, but I've heard stories.

Today we're going to talk about the meat. I was never a fan. I mean... meat that is stuffed in an intestine and hung in a dark cellar for months at a time? Sounds scary.

Hubby's parents always have this plate of meat that's freshly sliced and available for snacking. It has a variety of salami's and pepperoni. At first I shied away from the mystery meat. I had never eaten it as a child... most of our diet revolved around living in good old farm country where folk eat meat and potatoes and not much else.

However, one day while watching hubby's obvious enjoyment, I decided to be brave and try some Salami. It was the hottest thing I had ever eaten. WOW was it hot... but not right away. Before the tears there was a lovely smokey taste that was heaven in my mouth. After that it was hard to stop eating it.

I have since learned that each different Salami comes from a different area of Italy, like red wine in France. They're all lovely really, although I would have to say my favourite is Genoa. YUM.

So interested was I in this new love of mine, that I decided to get some information on what exactly was in it to make it soooo delicious. This may, or may not have been a mistake depending on your point of view...

Salami may be made out of one or more of the following meats...
  • pork
  • venison
  • beef
  • poultry

Horse? Really? Do people eat horse meat?

It is at this point in my research where I recognized, yet again, how woefully ignorant I am about cultures outside the world of North America (or inside it for that matter).

The main ingredients that go with the meat are

  • Salt
  • Spices
  • Minced Fat (MINCED FAT? How appetizing does THAT sound?)
  • Wine (It IS Italy after all)
  • vinegar
  • other various herbs depending on the region.

The word Salami actually means "salted meat". Easy enough. That's why it tastes so good... and why it causes high blood pressure. My general rule of thumb is: If it tastes good, it's usually bad for you.

In short... this sketchy, mystery meat is quite delicious but should not become a lifestyle if you value your figure... it runs around 90 calories per slice (and thin slices at that) and most of those are from fat. Yummy, but deadly.

Edit: I just realized that my title kinda sounds like the description on a porn video... but in the interests of entertainment, I decided not to change it.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Top Ten Things Women REALLY want from men

Top Ten Things Women REALLY want from men:

note: This is my opinion only. It certainly does not apply to ALL women, maybe not even most, and was meant to be a bit of fun.

10. TIME ALONE EVERY DAY. Yes, we love you. Yes, we want to talk to you. Yes, we want to spend time with you. We just need a small piece of time where no one needs ANYTHING and we can just chill.

9. FOR YOU TO HELP WITH THE HOUSEWORK WITHOUT HAVING TO BE ASKED. Just do it. It will save an argument later, and it might even get you a nice dinner or some kinky sex.

8. FLOWERS - yes, they die.. and we are ok with that. The point is that you thought about us during the day and wanted to do something to please us. It doesn't even have to be flowers... the best surprise I ever got was a pez dispenser shaped after my favourite cartoon character - because that means you listened and learned the things that I like and went to the trouble to show me.

7. A HUG - this is important. Women are nesters and affectionate creatures. We need reassurance that you love us.

6. THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT - sometimes we like to be mysterious. Not because we are doing anything wrong, but just because predictability is scary. If we say we're going out to do some shopping, don't give us the third degree about where we are going and what time we'll be home etc. etc. It feels kinda like an interrogation sometimes. This probably makes no sense, but trust me, if you examine your wife's comings and goings with a microscope you're asking for trouble. Just trust. And if your curiosity is driving you insane, ask, but don't dig unless you have a reason to. Conversations where you dig too much usually end up with, "I WAS BUYING YOUR XMAS PRESENT OK? " Which of course is very frustrating for everyone. And don't ask how much your wife spent at Xmas, that's just rude.

5. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF - this is a two-income-household world my friend. Your wife is just as tired as you are. So pick up your socks, pop cans, beer cans. No, it's not hurting anything on the counter but us girls take pride in a clean house. Just think to yourself.. what would my mother do if I left my pants hanging on the banister? She'd kill you, that's what. So pick them up.

4. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT - did you notice that your wife painstakingly folded your underwear or made all your favourites for dinner this week? Then tell her. Don't be a caveman.

3. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE - not because it's a "mans" job, but just because it's icky, and we don't like doing it. If we have to clean the toilet, the least you could do is take out the trash.

2. THE REMOTE CONTROL - share. You can do it.

1. GET YOUR FEET OFF THE COFFEE TABLE! No explanation required.

Friday, August 06, 2010

It's not paranoia if people really ARE out to get you.

Have you ever been in that position where you think there's a big giant joke involving you and you're the only one who doesn't know about it? No? I had one of those moments today, where I walked into a room full of people and everyone stopped talking. You could hear a pin drop.

Maybe it's because I'm so gorgeous they had to stop and stare, but somehow I don't think so.... (this affirmation comes mostly from the fact that I'm wearing baggy jeans and no make-up).

Maybe it was just one of those natural pauses in conversation that happen when everyone has run out of things to say.

Maybe they had the feeling that the exclamation that was about to come out of my mouth was soooo profound, that they all had to stop and hold their collective breath while I spoke.

So now I'm on a mission to find out exactly what the joke is... and how I can be a part of it. Perhaps there is some giant practical joke going on that I'm not participating in.

Or maybe I'm paranoid and I should drink less coffee.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

The Power Of Nature

The summer sky, taken after the last storm

Don't get me wrong. I love a good storm. The lightning, big peals of thunder, the sense that there is something out there that's still bigger than we will ever be. However, sometimes there can be too much of a good thing.
I'm writing this because I've just returned in from outside, where the beautiful August afternoon is trying desperately to shine while purple storm clouds await on the horizon. The looming, glooming kind of purple storm clouds.
Afternoon storms have become an event around here. Several power outages at work have caused major problems. I sit here praying to mother nature to pleassseeee hold off just a few more hours so production can finish.
It's not going to storm, it's not going to storm, it's not going to storm. Come on, say it with me!
My chinese fortune cookie said that if I was nice to people, good things will happen to me. I'm going to go now and run around the office to tell everyone how fabulous they are. Do you think that's enough? How nice is nice? Maybe if I get everyone coffee the rain will hold off until I go home.
Proving once again, that coffee is the answer to everything.
Update: No Storm! Horray!

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

The top ten reasons why I appreciate my job.

This is an exercise in job appreciation. Because I really don't appreciate what I have as much as I should (does anyone?). Mostly I run around bitching about my job because it can be stressful sometimes. However, anything worth doing is stressful....

Top 10 Reasons Why I Appreciate My Job.

10. I learn new things everyday. This keeps my brain stimulated. I'd probably be drooling in a corner without that.

9. Occasionally I get to solve really big problems that make a difference.

8. Tim Hortons is right around the corner so I have a 24 hr coffee supply.

7. My office has air conditioning (if you knew how hot it was inside of the plant you'd understand why this is on the list. I used to work out there... not nice. Heat makes me cranky).

6. It comes with a paycheck. Fancy that!

5. I need some amount of stress to function... LOTS of that here! Functioning really well.

4. I get to boss people around. Mucho satisfaction.

3. Occasionally people realize that I know what I'm doing and the thrill of watching them look sheepish never gets old.

2. It forces me to get out of my pajamas everyday. Ok. I don't even know why that's on the list. I HATE getting out of PJ's.

1. The people I work with. Who also feel unappreciated. They have become my surrogate family... even though I'd like to run over them with my truck occasionally, it all works out in the end.

This is one of my coworkers. She makes my job easier on a regular basis and I think I would have probably quit if she wasn't here. I have no idea why she wouldn't let me take her photo (hence the blurriness... ok, so I suck as a photographer... thank god I don't do THAT for a living). I'm going to post this and send it to her as a message that she should LET people take nice photo's when the opportunity presents itself. Now the entire blogging community is going to think she has a blurry face.
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