Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Suspicion Q&A

A few things I have learned in the past few weeks.

What is the greatest compliment you can give your partner? The benefit of the doubt. Believe in them, or go find someone you CAN believe in.

What is the fastest way to ruin a relationship? Constant accusations of cheating, which brings on self-rightous defense mechanisms, which lead to anger, frustration, and a need to eat an entire container of chocolate ice-cream. Confront your partner 1 time, if you are sure you have grounds, then drop it. If you are still suspicious, the trust with your partner has been broken and you have a serious problem. There is not enough chocolate ice-cream in the entire world to make you feel better.

What's the root cause of jealousy? Paranoia. Fear of losing something because of lack of self confidence. Your partner is with you because they saw something in you that was worth keeping. If you spend all of your time worrying about it disappearing, how will you ever enjoy it?

How to boost your self confidence? If you don't believe in yourself, niether will any one else. You cannot fully love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Lack of self-confidence brings misery for both of you. Stop carrying around all that unessesary stress and just LIVE. Perhaps you will no longer NEED the ice-cream, but will spend time enjoying it instead.

Life is hard enough without creating stress for you and your partner. If you can't get over your feelings, get help or get out! Life is too short to be miserable forever.

5 comments:

Morgan said...

Good points all around, dudette! Hope all is well with you. <3
-m

Eternally Distracted said...

Great comments - Too true, life is definitely too short.

Carolina said...

Wise words. Perhaps more easily said than done, but that's the case with almost all wise words ;-)
Hope you are alright?

maria stone said...

good questions and confident answers.

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Jerry K said...

It's weird: I'm not the most self-confident person on the planet, but the last time I suspected a partner of cheating was when I was 16 years old.

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