Thursday, December 02, 2010

How many computers does it take to print one report?

Technology is taking over. It's everywhere! I can't escape.

A while back when hubby was off work, he decided to go back to school for computer stuff. He already knew way more than I ever will, but decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

In our house (the house in which only TWO people live). There are 4 computers. Plus 2 laptops that we both use for work bringing the total to SIX. SIX computers. For TWO people. Even if we gave one to each of the cats and the dog, that would still be too many.

On Tuesday I had a presentation to finish for school. I couldn't prepare it on my home laptop, because hubby had formatted it sometime ago and never re-installed Microsoft office. So I used my work laptop. Everything was fine until it came time to print. I couldn't print off of my work laptop because the printer was not networked to it, only the house computers. I should mention at this point that hubby was at work, and unable to help. So I decided to put it on a memory stick and take it down stairs to the computer that was connected to the printer. When I turned it on, I was prompted for a password, (we keep all of our computers secure in case the cats try to steal our banking information... they're sneaky like that). I called Hubby and requested the password. He said that Windows was not working properly on it, and it needed to be fixed so I couldn't use it anyway.

I tried to plug my work laptop directly into the printer. No luck. My work security profile would not let me add the printer without administrative access.

I was then late for class. I attempted to remove the memory stick from the computer and ended up damaging it. Sigh. I ran around the house trying to find another and EUREKA! Success! I found one in my scrap table. I re-saved the file from my work laptop onto the new stick. I then went to the school to print off my presentation. Late is better than never right? I tried to put the stick into the school computer, but it was too big! The fancy plastic design didn't fit in the school computers! At this point I figured God was testing me and it became a personal challenge to PRINT THE DAMN REPORT.

Luckily I had brought my laptop with me, Ba-da-da-DA! The plan was to email the presentation to myself, and then open my email on the school computer to print the report. Unfortunately, I couldn't access the schools WiFi due to security problems with my work laptop. OH MY GOD.

So. I packed everything up, drove home, emailed the presentation to myself, drove BACK to school, logged on to the computer, printed the report, and ran to class.

I got in trouble for being late. I tried to explain... but lets be realistic. Would YOU believe that story? This is what happens to procrastinators who waste their entire vacation and leave the report writing for the last day. Sigh. I hope she doesn't fail me.

It took 7 computers, two internet signals, 2 printers, 2 people, 1 car, 20 kilometers, $3 dollars worth of gas, 3 hours, 2 trips through the construction zone, 2 memory sticks, and a whole lot of patience to print one report. How is that possible?

12 comments:

savage.spheniscus said...

Ugh... The worst part is that there is really nothing shocking, surprising or unusual about your story. I feel ya!

Jewels said...

I can't believe I spelled patience wrong. Wait.. yes I can.

Madame DeFarge said...

I feel your pain. We have thousands of PCs, one MacBook, but only one sporadically working printer. I send everything to work. But even then....

Mara said...

Paper and pen! It might have been quicker this time round...

Heather said...

I can believe it. They like us to think we are in charge, but really, it's them. They are the cats of the technical age, they will only be cuddled and petted when THEY want it to happen...

Carolina said...

You have so much more patience than I have (what's wrong with that spelling?). I'd have thrown at least two computers and a printer through the window. And then I'd have turned into a patient. In one of those nice straightjackets.
So... a standing ovation from me, for you. I hope the presentation was a success?

Putz said...

rember in odessey where bob is outside the space ship and said i would like to enter the ship and the computer saID " i don't think so bob""""<><>,.yep that is what was said

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

Jew, err, I mean, Jewery. You love satire, huh? Git ready, girl. You love how we sit on our four, HUGE tires driving on this whorizontal playing feeeld that goes nowhere except hits-you-in-the-@$$ the second time around?? Then, you'll definitely looove our nine, avant-garde-efficaciousness, sardonic satirical blogs. And, most of all, I hope to God Almighty you meet me Upstairs for a drink... or several. God bless.

Carolina said...

Are you okay? Thought I'd let you know I miss you. Yuck. ;-)

rhymeswithplague said...

I would like to point out to Putz that the movie was 2001: A Space Odyssey and the computer said, "I don't think so, Dave." Not Bob. Dave. It definitely said "Dave."

But you know that, don't you?

Jewels said...

RWP - I should hope so. Sigh. I named my first hamster Dave and pasted a big 42 on the side of his cage.

rhymeswithplague said...

P.S. for your eyes only: Putz's real name is David.

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